Am I meeting a lot of flaky girls or is there something wrong with me?

So I'm about to be 26 and to this day I've still never had a relationship. It's not that I haven't dated, dated many in fact, nor am I a virgin. It's just frustrating because I am able to get lots of dates and sex here and there but I just feel that most of the time, the girls I'm into or am open to seeing even if I'm not entirely sure where I wanna take it end up flaking after a few dates. I feel like the girl will show a lot of interest at first but then it eventually dies out and becomes one sided where I'm doing all the initiation of contact, and I don't overly text.

Is it because I'm meeting them off dating sites and they're probably seeing more guys that they click with more? Is it that I'm doing too much or too little? Is there something that I'm saying or doing that's turning them off.

The thing is, the only times girls wanted to keep seeing where ones I had little to no interest in and I'm not just gonna settle as that's wrong and rather desperate.


What Girls Said 0

No girls shared opinions.

What Guys Said 1

  • You are clearly doing something that's making them run away. And most likely you're smothering them with attention and interest. I can tell this because the one's you're less interested in aren't running away... because you're not turning fatal.

    Fatal means you're about to murder everyone because you're WAY too interested.

    I say this to be funny, not because you're really abnormal. You sound actually really normal. You're just a dude who enjoys being into a girl, but you're not calibrated yet.

    Being calibrated means that you're able to turn down your energy to match hers.

    Basically you need to learn to dampen down your insecurities that are causing you to go over the top for the girls you like. I don't know what you might be insecure about, that's for you to figure out. That's part of growing up and maturing and becomes an awesome man... so enjoy that journey. It's not a burden, it's a gift. A gift most guys don't open.

    To help you alone try this... mirror her interest levels.

    So only call or text her as often as she calls and texts you... unless her frequency is zero... some women will do nothing.

    And make sure your messages and energy is the SAME as hers. If she text's only three words, then you do the same. If she only texts every three days, then you do the same.

    It's easy if you're patient.

    Trust me... you just need to slow down and turn down your energy. Firs turn it WAY down... then slowly amp it up over time until you see her pulling away... that's the threshold. Then turn it down.

    I hope this helps?

    ~ Robby

    (My Blog: )

    • That's the tough part because honestly the ones that did seem to have a lot of interest up front would text a lot. And I would show some interest but not too much.

      Believe me I know in the past I was overly interested with some but realized my actions and toned it down yet would get the same results.

      The thing about girls who give few word replies or don't add anything to conversation or forward it get boring fast. I feel like I'm interviewing them.

    • Show All
    • Oh it's happened quite a bit way more than a handful of times. And even though I had sex with the last girl I met off tinder, she disappeared. It also seems like some, not all, play mind games. Like they'll throw themselves at me by telling me I'm cute , how we should hang out, etc and then it's like the moment I show interest back, they back off. And once again, it's not even being overzealous. I don't think agreeing to a date or a meet up makes one clingy.

      I also don't try to let the bad experiences ruin it for me as I keep putting myself out there and play it by ear. It's just a lot of times, things seem to end before they really start, that's all. I don't try to rush anything by any means. Especially since I talk/date a few girls at a time when using those sites and apps.

    • I totally get your frustration... it seems like false advertising maybe. But I"m glad you're fighting through your frustration. The reality is this... most dates will go nowhere. MOST dates. That's like 99% of them. So you'll have to date 99 women before one clicks.

      Why? Because you're picky, and the women you end up with should be picky. Being selective is both attractive to you, and her! Because subconsciously you're going to feel WAY more valued in a relationship when you know you've past all the hurdles no other guy could, and she's done the same.

      So ya, it makes sense that most dates flake or fail. That's how it should be.

      The trick, as you grow up, is to accept this failures are stepping stones to success. Sounds lame, but it'll make you feel better and you'll never bring that frustration to your next date... who might be someone worthy of your efforts.

      Hang in there, it's worth it!