Why do some guys talk to so many girls at once?

every guy that i try talking to i end up just finding out that they flirt with every girl alive and that they are players. why do most guys do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys talk to so many girls at once because they know that they will eventually get rejected by a portion of the women they pursue. Therefore, we have to be conscious of the fact that we will get rejected and plan our rejections in to our pursuits accordingly. By talking to so many girls at once, we increase the probability that we'll end up with one of the girls at the end of the day. For example, if I have a 10% chance to get with any given girl, then I should talk to 10 women at once to have a 100% chance at getting with at least one of the girls.

    Additionally, most guys don't expect to be pursued by a woman because women rarely approach men. Therefore, we need to be proactive and opportunistic while interacting with women. Our opportunism is why we flirt with every girl alive and are perceived as players in the process.

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    • love shouldn't be about statistics

      although i do understand the reasoning behind it

      Still it takes out part of the uniqueness that a relationship between two people is supposed to have. like: he got with girl c just because a and b rejected him 1st or something.

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    • it seems a bit cold

    • @HookingSwan Sadly, so does being rejected. Guys fight fire with fire

Most Helpful Girl

  • Most guys younger than 20 tend to be major fuck boys anyways, they then turn into frat boys once college arrives.. lmaoo.
    It gets better and most mature later in life anyways. Just avoid players bc if they do it once chances are they're going to do it again. And once again, we're under 18, we're going through puberty, and since we're in the midst of it we're going to be horny.. (I mean i'm not, but guys are horny af at that age). P. s- Horniness ofc means your imagination is "SEX, SEX, SEX". So mhmm, they want it bad.

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What Guys Said 27

  • 1. for fun
    2. really? you dont do that? lol every girl in the class that i date does it
    3. its good to not get emotionally attached too much, too soon, so this is an effective strategy to prevent that
    4. Find the right match!! Date around until the right match clicks with you

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    • you're... not faithful to your girlfriend are you? hahah

    • @pavlove you are misunderstanding. Date around, go on dates with various women, until you find the right match and then get into a relationship.

      You don't have to be in a relationship to date obviously.

  • It's called fishing. The more they talk to girls, the more opportunities for sex.

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    • This is why all of you fucking suck

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    • No, because I'm not speaking of ALL men, just those that fit the description.

      And yes not all people want kids or a family... 1 person in 20, doesn't want a family. The rest that stay single and lonely just have to accept and deal with it, so it's better to be optimistic and say thats what they want... But really, nobody wants to be alone... Yet certain circumstances can lead you to think or even convince you to think that you do.

    • @skullly There's no guarantee by having kids that they will take care of you. What I argue for is that you can create your own family regardless of bloodline. Besides, you don't know what everyone wants. It's a little bit arrogant to assume everyone needs to be with someone because they hate being alone.

  • We have to keep exploring our options. Just because a guy talks to multiple girls, doesn't mean he's a player

    It's just playing the numbers. We can't just get all prettied up and wait for Mrs. Right, we have to go find her.

    To do that the most efficient way, you need to eliminate the mismatches as you go.

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  • Because you don't understand the dating game for men. For us it's a game of numbers. We may ask out/ talk to 10 girls. MAYBE 3 will be interested, and MAYBE 1 will result in anything. Women are flakey, if we did one woman at a time it would take forever to find one.

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  • Playing the numbers. Just because you like a girl doesn't mean she's going to like you back and want to be with you

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  • Because 90% of the time the girl will flake out on them, so they talk to as many girls as possible to find one that will actually stick.

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  • I am guilty of this and no, it is not because we are players, ok let me explain why. We learn from a very young age that it is a numbers game and women tend to be the choosers after all. So to increase our chance of being chosen just seems wise to increase our net and talk to as many girls as we can. Women do this do but they are the ones that get approached. Why put all your resources, effort, time and your emotion into one girl that has a chance of not working out, or playing games with you, acts erratic or just seems not interested at times. Whether you want casual sex or a long term girlfriend it just seems logical to talk to as many girls as possible and to find the one that fits you and to see if she is responsive too.

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  • By talking to many girls they're raising their chances of getting a girl. It saves time. If he dedicates like 5 hours of his day time on you (or more) everyday and you end up rejecting him he would have to go look for somebody else and all that time would have gone to waste. By talking and flirting to multiple girls at least one is bound to say yes
    I personally can't do that cause it feels wrong to me and would make me feel guilty but I can see how that strategy would work

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  • This is happening because you only notice the guys who are willing to put themselves out there. The guys you notice are statistically the most likely ones to be talking to many different women. They put themselves out there to an extreme degree because they know if they play the numbers they will eventually get someone. Go after the guys who aren't trying to get your attention, and this problem will become a non-issue because these guys are an extremely tiny percentage of men.

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  • The wider the net you cast, the more likely you are to pull something outta the water.

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  • It's called "playing the field". It increases the odds of getting laid and knocking someone up. Don't forget how nature works. There are two types of men in the world.

    One type tries to knock up as many women as possible without caring about their offspring. The other type consentrates on one particular woman and makes sure his offspring grows up to be strong and capable.

    It's up to the women to decide which type they prefer to date.

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  • To get laid. But some. of them do for just the ego and popularity. Just to say among the guys these: " Dude i have z girlfriends to hangout 😎"

    Z= the number of girlfriends (sometimes it can be a lie tho)

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  • Not me, under 18, I never talked to many girls because every other guy alive were pretty much "playing" them so to speak and I ended up always being alone. I just mean other girls would have been more friendly to me if other guys weren't being so friendly toward them. Better yet, girls can end up being the same way because of those guys influence.

    Why do some guys talk to so many girls at once? as for the flirting thing

    -That are arrogant and think they are supposed to.

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  • When I'm not serious dating a girl or i don't havey eyes set on 1 then I take to a lot. Once I'm set on one though I cut everyone else out.

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  • Before you read this, remember that i'm just supposing, but, sometimes...

    ... the problem is with us.
    Maaaaybe you are too jealous, can happen.
    If you are, try to fix it, it only brings problems.

    Remember, some men don't even like to see their wifes talking with others or having friends. Some eve make them end facebook and isolate these poor woman.

    Would you like the man you love to do this to you?

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  • What else is there to do?

    Gotta practice so that when a really good one comes around... You are on top of your game...

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  • Sometimes it's not because they're players they're just being picky and trying to find a girl that really clicks with them

    Consider buying a guitar

    There are many in the store and you have to pick them all up and feel their strings and hear how they sound before picking your favorite

    Not to sound crude but dating is a bit like that.

    I wouldn't just buy any old guitar because it's pretty it has to play with a nice warmth and play to the right tune

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  • Numbers game. If you go to a bar and approach 100 single women (a massive overestimation to make a point, by the way), 15 of them will chuck a drink in your face. 15 will take your drinks all night and then fuck off home, 30 will politely tell you to fuck off and 40 will be down to fuck. If you only approached one woman, the odds of you getting some are way lower than if you approached 100.

    Don't hate the player, baby, hate the game.

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  • talking and flirting aren't the same thing.

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  • just the way of the world I guess, if roles got switched. and the way of the norm was that girls were to approach guys, who's to say it wouldn't be the same that way round, talking to multiple guys cause suddenly it's hard to find a match.

    it seems to me that a girl can pick a guy she likes whenever she feels ready as any guy would pretty much be willing. but guys get turned down sooooo much when we approach I guess it's only natural.

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  • my guess is you're talking with really hot guys

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    • I am

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    • I'm being honest with you,
      I don't know what you look like,
      but you're talking about a guy that plenty of women like based on looks
      so he's gonna look at you
      than look at the other girls and see which one he likes best
      that's how it works
      cause you're doing the same

    • He isn't wrong. Are you better than the other women who he can pick from?

  • They haven't met The One or they have peter pan syndrome

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  • This is how it goes, 7/10 goes for first round, 8/10 proceed to second and 9/10 stays

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  • I dont know why i do it. I guess i just like girls.

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  • Cuz we are hunters

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  • Here's the truth:

    Every time I talk to a woman, doesn't matter how much we clique and talk... she will eventually stop talking to me. This has happened to me numerous times, and it sucks. As result of this, I learned that the best method to keep women in your life is to talk to 5-6 at a time. If 1 girl leaves you for some reason, you have 5-6 more to chose from. When I start running low on the number of women I am talking to, I just go out and get more numbers and "refill" the number of women I am talking to.

    Fact of the matter... if women were more consistent and didn't cut a guy loose so quickly, men wouldn't need to talk to 5-6 different women at the same time.

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    • Plus, if a girl rejects me, it makes it easier and faster for me to move on since I am talking to a lot of different women. That girl that rejected me will quickly become a memory and deemed as someone who is not worth my time

  • Because dating for men is a number game. Too many times guys invest time, money on a girl for her to end up a flake, go no contact, or STRAIGHT up reject them.

    So guys are basically keeping their options open. Women do the exact same thing but for different scenario. Women get tons of guys offering to take them out on dates, and to have sex with them. They be messaging multiple guys to determine which one is the best and has the most to offer then tell the rest of guys to fuck off.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Wait, what? Do you not talk to tons of guys, too? GIRL.

    I mean.

    If you were unemployed, would you not go for ALL THE INTERVIEWS?
    All the interviews.

    LOL.

    Maximize your time.

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  • They like to flirt and they can! So they do it! You can't control their action only your own!

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  • cause they are losers... then they wonder why no girl takes them seriously... and they end up being used just as well.

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    • Wait, the guys are losers for talking to more than one woman?

    • @ArtDent Haha yes. Look at all the down votes. 😁 that's what happens when you say the truth and people feel offended. Oh'well 😁😁

      And I'm not talking about guys who just genuinely talk to girls as friends... But to the vast majority of men who ONLY befriend girls whom they are attracted to, in hopes of getting laid... So they have all here girls whom they call "friends", but really they're just looking for any open window to let them come in... In contrast to the minority who actually look for one girlfriend instead of befriending all this "possible" fuck buddies. So yes, those are losers in my eyes, cause then they come crying asking why no one takes them seriously and how they can't find someone decent to have a relationship with... Seriously.. Lames.

  • Because they're jerks. 😂😂😂

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  • Not every guy does that. Those who do are trying to have "fun". They are ass holes. But if you strike one of those ass holes and he likes you, he is ready to give you time , tells you the truth, give him a chance.

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  • Because they want to "hit" something.

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