I ask this BC I look pretty innocent.. I'm small, quiet, I'm very open minded and am kind to everyone!!! I laugh and smile a lot too! Just in general I give this "nice, sweet girl vibe" which I AM lol but I smoke and drink and have broken laws (which I'm not gonna get into) and I curse a lot (if that matters), I've sneaked out a lot, and I lie a lot not to friends but to my parents/teachers/etc. I also don't let a lot of people know these things about me. Just friends/cousins. I am a really quiet person except around my friends I am more free spirited I guess.. Well I like this guy who has up until recently only seen my innocent side and I'm afraid he would dislike me for this? I don't wanna hide this other side from him but at the same time I don't want him to feel like I'm 2 different people. Is this a deal breaker for guys? Do u think I am fake for being this way? Would u be upset if a girl you thought was one way, actually was opposite?
- i could care lessVote A
- it would be hard for me to trust her in a relationshipVote B
- i would feel deceivedVote C
- i like a bad side to an "innocent" girl!Vote D
Most Helpful Guy
A lack of innocence would only really bother me if it meant you had an STD or a kid or something like that. If you didn't, it would be fine.
I'm kind of similar in a way, but kind of not. I kind of have the opposite problem. I wish girls would see that just because I have an innocent side, doesn't mean I'm boring. Just because I'm not rebellious doesn't mean I'm Ned Flanders.
I really am the nice, sweet, warm and friendly guy that I present myself as being, for the most part. I curse when I'm angry but I try to keep it to a minimum. I do have an other side though - I like my rock 'n roll, I like to drink brews, and I've taken magic mushrooms and acid before and would do so again. I found them fascinating. That's not a side I present to everyone, of course. Only friends.
But it's not realistic to expect people at our age to be as innocent as we were when we were kids. The older we get, the harder it is to find anyone with much of an innocent side left at all. By now everyone's drank and done that kind of stuff, at least. The fact that you even try to still maintain an innocent side, I would find it sweet and endearing.1
Most Helpful Girl
People are so ridiculous. "Oh, he'd be soooo deceived"
Here's a fairy tale:
Once upon a time, there was this guy. He met a girl, and she revealed everything about herself to him, on the first date.
Notice that this is a FAIRY TALE.
Because it does not exist.
People have different sides. WOW. How about that. Shocker.
... And they take time to reveal those sides! Double shocker.
... And they don't act the same around everyone! Triple shocker. I know, absolutely totally crazy triple shocker.
I have a dog who is completely terrified of everyone and everything. But around us, she is all playful and even growls and shit. Because comfortable. Reveals self over time.
To the original poster:
Obviously, no, you do not have to dump all this at once. Yes, you are real person, with imperfections. You curse, and you also shit and fart and make mistakes and all that stuff. Because you are a real person.
You and your man will discover each other, over time.
Discovery is fun.
I've been with my man for 15 years, and I am still discovering him.
All the people saying "You're fake" are wrong. Incorrect answer. Fail at understanding real people in real world.
Fail at life.
Just chill and be yourself.2