Girls, I'm in a Jim/Pam situation. Need advice?

Title says it all. I've known her a year. I've always been good to her and been there for her. I lightly tease her and help her feel good about herself. One time she was talking to a friend of hers, Amy. I whispered to her, "Damn, kid, you just threw a lot of your amazing catchphrases at Amy right there. Be careful. She might get overwhelmed."

She has fallen asleep on my shoulder at least a dozen times. Her eyes literally shine when she looks at me (no BS here; I've actually seen them twinkle at least twice). When we graduated in June, she gave me a go-away present. AND she just had to see me one last time before I left campus. She also kissed me once (although we were both drunk).

Problem? Her boyfriend ("Roy"). She barely talks about him. He controls her and treats her like shit - he doesn't want her hanging out with me but he says he should be allowed to hang out with his female friends. She wanted to try pot, but didn't because then he'd be mad at her.

I cut contact with her in August because being "Jim" was really excruciating, but then she contacted me later on and we ended up talking together about everything. She was really apologetic and remembered all these little details that we shared. I asked her, "Do you love me?" She exhaled, "In a way... yes... I do."

I felt that if I pressured her to be with me, she wouldn't take my advice about "Roy" seriously, so I told her that I didn't think she should be with "Roy" but also said I didn't think we could work either.

But that was a month ago and she's still with him (I see on facebook). I still send her encouraging messages and stuff, but I'm really beginning to lose patience now.

Anyway... I'm coming here because I want to know if I should: "never give up", call her and tell her I still love her, and say that she should be with me? Or just start ignoring her, let it all fade away, and only talk to her if she comes to me first (like Pam at the beach)?

Also, if I should tell her, we're in different states now. Can that be done over email or Skype, or do I need to find a way to see her in person?


What Girls Said 1

  • If you really like her, you should at least give it another try cuz she told that she likes you.