Having a fight with my boyfriend, am I wrong/overreacting?

So last night was New Years, originally we thought we wouldn't be able to spend it together (my job loves to work me closing on holidays) a couple days ago I finally figured out a way we could spend it together although not very long just a couple hours, way better than nothing in my opinion. We talked and he agreed that we would do that. Then halfway through my all day shift New Years eve I get a message from him that he's not going to be coming over (what we'd decided) I ask why a few hours later I get a reply that it's because he doesn't feel safe driving back after midnight (drunks on the road logical reason) I mention I'd been planning to see if he could stay over anyway and check with my mom (I live at home) she says it's ok and he can stay, I relay this information, fast forward to 10:30pm I've worked my butt off so I can get off early so we have a little more time together, no response from him, fast forward a bit more I've gotten home and started getting settled in, FINALLY a response, he's decided he still doesn't want to come over... why? he doesn't want to sleep in a room that isn't his... Any other Non-Holiday day I generally wouldn't care much, yes I'd be a bit upset but I'd get over it... but on New Years Eve? Tonight after getting little to no messages from him all day (he recently upgraded his computer and it's been a pain in the ass getting him to text me back since, also part of why I'm upset) I finally explained a second time (I told him I was upset and why on New Years Eve as well, no yelling or name calling or any of that just I'm upset this is why) I sent him a message since it appeared he wasn't going to figure it out on his own (I told him my next free evening and when I would be taking breaks so he could more easily take initiative to text me on my break/ plan a nice night for us in place of New Years) in the message I included my request that I would like from him before I stop being ticked, personally I think I'm not asking for much but I'll let you guys decide, I requested 1. an apology for him cancelling on me last minute for New Years, and/or 2. a random appearance by him with flowers, and/or 3. a nice date night, and/or 4. him texting me on my breaks... He as of yet has done nothing but accuse me of overreacting. Opinions?

  • You're Overreacting
    12% (1)75% (3)33% (4)Vote
  • Give the guy a break, you ask way too much
    12% (1)0% (0)8% (1)Vote
  • He should apologize
    50% (4)25% (1)42% (5)Vote
  • You should apologize
    12% (1)0% (0)8% (1)Vote
  • Not enough information to decide
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • He's just being stubborn
    14% (1)0% (0)9% (1)Vote
  • Unicorns.
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have every right to be upset because its as if he's putting your feeling and wants aside and you're giving him an opportunity to make up for it, it's not like you're dismissing it. However he may be turned off by your requests and feels he can only see you IF he brings you those things, and apologizes. If he's not sorry- what would an apology do? It couldn't hurt to do something special in place like dinner, but maybe you just could've said something along the lines of "Can we go out for dinner since we didn't get to spend quality time last night" Ya know? Either way you can just ask him to be more responsive in texts to unless he's busy so he doesn't keep you waiting all the time.

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    • I tried to make the message not seem like he couldn't unless he did any of those things, I mainly just want him to apologize but he doesn't want to do that even... it's hard to put it all in a post... Last night he said we could do something on my next evening off, however that was after I very blantantly hinted that I would like to... then today he hardly responded to my messages again so I became a bit irritated again, and brought the subject up again with him which lead to us fighting, and me sending the text requesting an apology &/or any of the others...

    • It's honestly just about having mutual respect for each other and care about each other and the moment you feel that you are giving more than you're getting you're going to be irritated and thats okay

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Tbh you might wanna look more into this... He doesn't wanna hang out on new years with his gf? Worst scenario is he is cheating and didn't come BC he was with some other chick. But if you feel it isn't that then maybe just ask for an apology and forgive him but remember this next time you guys make plans.

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    • I'm sure he wasn't with someone else (I trust him, and he's a gamer, he tends to spend all his time on the computer if not at work or with me or a friend.) I mainly just want an apology, but the way he's acting is like it's totally offensive I would want one...

    • Well I think asking him to do these things will make it seem like a chore for him honestly.. I think the best thing is to talk it out and tell him how you feel whether your angry/hurt. Ofcourse an apology is the most important thing but if he doesn't mean it and is just saying it BC you asked him to then what is the point ya know? Let him know how this made you feel

    • We've been talking/debating off and on for a bit over an hour now, and I've tried to make it clear how I feel and asked him to tell me his opinion more so I understand better however nothing's getting through. I could talk till I'm blue in the face and still nothing... He's usually an absolutely awesome guy (we've been together a year and a half) but if I get upset (doesn't happen often) he just clams up... I'm at a loss I feel like I'm supposed to apologize for getting upset, and shouldn't get upset but at the same time I want him to know how I feel and to sort this out so we don't end up arguing like this again...

  • I would have clicked over reacting to this question had it not been NYE, personally I have felt like rubbish when I am alone during the count down so I can only imagine what it felt like to be ditched last minute by your boyfriend... as for the flowers, dinner etc... they are all demands you are forcing upon him. you are playing with fire when you start making demands. you should let him know that you were hurt and he should come up with his own way of making it up to you because that's what the other half do when they really care

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