Two guys asked me out at the same time so should I tell them about each other?

I have two guy friends named Aaron and Matthew. They're both completely different yet they both asked me out at the same time. Aaron texted me today saying that he wanted to get out of the friendzone with me. Matthew asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend on New Years. The thing is, neither of them know about each other. I like them both and I've told them both that but I don't want to get into relationship with one and hurt the other. At least if I tell them both that I was talking to someone else they'll be prepared for it. I've never had a boyfriend before. I'm not even used to guys liking me. This all new to me, but I don't want to hurt anybody.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You're a female player

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    • I'm a player? I'm not trying to play anybody. I'm a socially awkward teenage girl who has never had a boyfriend. I've never dated, I've never kissed a boy, and I rarely get attention from guys. I never intended for anything to happen with these guys. I met one at a bus stop on the way to school and the other because he was a friend of a friend. I have only ever been friendly with these guys. The only reason I asked this question is because I don't want to hurt anybody. So tell me how I'm a player.

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    • First off, it's definitely possible to like two people at once. Second, I never asked for any of this. I met them both by pure coincidence, they both asked for my phone number, they both started liking me, and they both asked me out. I never asked or intended for this to happen. I'm not trying to play anybody. I'm not trying to hurt anybody. If I had a choice I'd go back in time and stop this from happening but I obiously can't.

    • YOU ARE A PLAYER

  • Dating multiple people at once is acceptable until it gets serious.

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    • I wasn't even actually dating them. They were just friends and then all of a sudden they both told me they liked me.

What Girls Said 1

  • Wow - great question! Especially since this is all new, exciting and scary, doubts are very common. :) I think you absolutely are okay to get to know 2 guys at once (think of it like getting to know 2 friends - though I know we're talking love, here). But I think the problem comes when you accept to being a "girlfriend." This title - especially if you and he clearly know you guys are girlfriend and boyfriend - definitely means you have to focus on him. It would be considered cheating if you then dated another. But since you like both, you are absolutely fine to want to get to know each of them better. The tricky part will be knowing how you truly feel about each one, when the time comes to accepting the girlfriend title. :) Since Matthew straight-out asked you to be his girlfriend, you will have to give him some explanation why you'd rather keep getting to know him. But since Aaron has only said he wants to date, but not yet be bf/gf, you could suggest you two have fun getting to know each other better. When you feel you need to let one/each of them know what you want, then you'll probably feel a lot more settled & not guilty about hiding anything. Best of luck!! You can do this! :D

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    • But what I'm trying to figure out is if I should tell each other about each other now. When Aaron texted me I felt so bad because I know he has feelings for me but Matthew literally asked to be his girlfriend at 12 on midnight. I told Matthew that I'd give him an answer when our holiday break ends and we go back to school which is Monday. He's going to be expecting an answer and I don't know if I can say yes knowing that it will hurt Aaron. At least if I tell them both now at least they'll know.

    • I understand - still a tricky situation. I think you should let Matthew know, since he asked you directly. But it's up to you if you want Aaron to know. If you really feel guilty, it's okay to let both know, I think.

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