Is my criteria for women too difficult?

All my friends are telling me I am too demanding of women, here are my criteria:

She must be attractive (at least a 7/10), preferably Asian but I'll take a white girl too, she has to have a good degree from a good college in a STEM, medicine, or business type field. She has to be funny and talkative, she can't party, drink, or smoke, no tattoos or piercings (other then 1 or 2 ear piercings), must be a virgin, she has to be intelligent, friendly, hard working, and caring towards family and close friends. She also has to be religious, and great with kids.

Is this too much to ask? I fit almost all of these standards (except I am not incredibly outgoing, which is why I want her to compliment me), but other then that I am all of those things so its not like I am demanding more hten I am offering. How unrealistic are these standards?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Can't party, can't smoke, can't drink, no tattoos and hardly any piercings, has to be a virgin and hard working.

    Also, should only speak when spoken to, know her place, make sure food is ready by the time I'm home and be a freak in the sack despite having zero experience.

    It's good to have standards, but when you lay out your laundry list like that, it sounds more like you're shopping for a mail order bride rather than looking for a compatible companion.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • that is a lot to ask.

    is it too much to ask? i mean in my opinion yes but you can have whatever criteria you want. i just think you are going to have a very difficult time finding a girl who fits that bill. i think you need to be able to compromise on some of those standards to expand the pool of potential partners. just imagine that there are 330million people in the US. about 55% are women. so you cut that number in half. about 2/3 of americans are getting college degrees these days. then you have to factor in how many of them have degrees in the fields you mentioned, how many don't drink, smoke or party, have tattoos or piercings, are virgins, etc, etc... suddenly the pool of women you are looking at is strikingly small and obviously not all the women in that remaining pool are going to be into you...

    keep whatever criteria you have. but also consider how realistic it is to find a person to fit that bill and if it's wise to cast aside what could be tons of great women who don't fit your criteria

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What Girls Said 12

  • You could always go for a mail-order bride/slave with a wedding ring. That's basically the gist of what you want.

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  • Jeez, you sound like you're ordering food at a restaurant. You're going to be waiting a long time to find a girl that meets all of those standards, but to each their own pal.

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  • I'm not saying it's not possible to find a person that fits that incredibly long list, but it's a lot to expect. Maybe temper those expectations a little.

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  • I think there are women like that out there but you could expect a good percentage of them already being taken & the other percentage probably having pretty high standards themselves that you might not match. ~ keep in mind that looks are subjective, too, so if you find a woman attractive that doesn't mean she automatically will find you attractive, too.
    Anyways, just keep looking & good luck :p

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  • When someone has a set list of "standards" like this I just think they don't have enough experience to understand that they can't help who they fall for.

    I have things I look for/prefer too, but I've fallen for someone who doesn't fit it at all..

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  • Oh snap. Hmm I don't know how to say this without sounding cocky and weird. Despite the fact that I think I fit your description, if you're fixed on all the above standards, you might have a hard time. But, you're more likely to find an Asian girl like this compared to other ethnicities so it may not be all unrealistic. You may find her. Especially since you fit this too... it's fair.

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  • Your the guy version of me !!! I think you have standards because you love and value yourself and you know what you want in life and obviously you value yourself enough to know what's good and bad when choosing a girl.

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  • You may be able to find her, but honestly you're just eliminating lot of great girls. I used to have a crazy list for the type of guy I would date and I learned that there are so many wonderful guys who didn't necessarily meet the mold I originally wanted.

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  • So do women fill out a questionnaire before you take them out? "Sorry, I can't date you because have a teaching degree." "We can't date because you lost your virginity to the boyfriend who you dated for five years." The degree, the virgin thing, the no tattoos and piercings, seems ridiculous to me.

    Sounds like you want someone perfect. Perfect doesn't exist.

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    • "The degree, the virgin thing, the no tattoos and piercings, seems ridiculous to me." Why is that ridiculous? I also have these standards but just a little lower. I also care about the girl being in STEM or holding a STEM degree, I don't care if it's from a good school. I don't care about virginity but I hate tattoos and piercings (except on the ear, then I don't care too much unless it attracts attention). And "Sorry, I can't date you because have a teaching degree." is bullshit. But if you have a non-STEM degree, that's negative points, but not the only thing that counts.

      "Sounds like you want someone perfect. Perfect doesn't exist." In this case, perfect does exist. What's perfect to him, can be imperfect to everyone else, it's subjective.

    • @DBAOracle There's someone out there for both of you, I'm sure, but I find it ridiculous. I don't understand why the degree even matters, because what your SO does for a living doesn't really matter if s/he is able to comfortably sustain her/himself. A tattoo or two or even three doesn't change the way a person thinks, feels, or acts. A piercing doesn't either. Being a virgin or not being a virgin shouldn't matter either. I understand not wanting someone who has slept around a lot, but not being a virgin isn't necessarily the worst thing.

      This is coming from a 20 year old virgin who is going to school for animal science. I have no tattoos, and I only have one piercing in each of my ears. I do not party, I do not drink, and I do not do drugs. I technically fit these standards, and I think they're ridiculous.

    • It's not about what she does for a living, I don't care if she has a STEM degree but works in HR. And my dislike for tattoos is because to me it's physically unattractive, not because I thought it changes how someone would act, same for piercings. I honestly don't see what you find ridiculous in these standards, these are way better than what you'd probably hear more often. If I summed it up it would be,

      Mentally: Responsible, intelligent.
      Physically: No piercings, no tattoos.

      How is that too much to ask? And as I said before, these are not requirements carved in stone. They're just highly attractive traits. And for people that reject anything less than what they see as perfect, they always end up lowering their standards later because barely anyone finds EXACTLY what he/she has always wanted.

  • It's okay because that's meee 😆😆😆 I'm not sure if I'm 7 for you tho

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    • Ops I'm not religious ;(

  • Not all of your standards are unrealistic. But, one day, you're going to fall in love with a women; who doesn't meet any of your standards. You can be missing out on a great girl, but your standards are hindering you from that.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Right now, you're asking price is high considering women in your age bracket are in high demand (the highest of any age bracket for either gender) and can raise their asking price absurdly high as a result.

    Yes, you're an accomplished young man with a decent background and a nice set of core values. The challenge you're facing is the fact that for every qualified women, she sees 2-3 men with similar qualifications (many older) stepping forward. Basically, you'll have to be one charismatic man to score an equal relationship.

    Your best bet is to network through Churches, because that's where you're going to find girls that meet MOST of your criteria. Virgin college girls that are attractive, smart, and extroverted are like unicorns in the US.

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  • If you have all those qualities, you're not being unreasonable. However there are three impediments.

    1) She will probably want to marry up - not laterally.
    2) She may not want to marry at all in order to pursue her professional goals.
    3) She probably will not be a virgin because she's too intelligent to be blinkered by religiosity.

    Good luck!

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  • "at least a 7/10"

    "must be a virgin"

    good luck with that.

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  • How would you rate yourself and what do you have to offer that makes you attractive?

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  • You know what you want, that's a good thing...
    Though you might go wrong in missing an amazing person right in front of you because they miss one or so of those qualities...

    Time will tell

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  • well... How's that working for you?

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  • i feel yes your too difficult. with your list you are basically say you want to date your self and only your self. no one is perfect in every way we all have strengths and weaknesses in every day life. yes you both have to have things in common but there also has to be differences. you need a little bit of yin to your yang

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  • good luck, fam

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  • A religious woman in STEM? LMAO

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  • Man how about just connecting with a girl? if you worry too much about his than that gives you no opportunity to live in the moment and connect with the person. Did you ever think that maybe some of the things on the list could be worked on during your realtionship? well except for the virgin part. You should be able to offer more in the relationship to a woman than she can offer you, just my opinion. I think you are just missing trying to connect with someone.

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  • Lmaoing at nerds in comments, I know like 4 chicks like that. So he can't have his standards of chicks just because he can't offer something to them? Lol wth

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  • sounds pretty basic to me. you want a good girl nothing wrong with that.

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  • Not at all. Everyone will have their own personal preferences. Go for it.

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  • Unfortunately in today's society that's viewed as extreme.

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  • i want the same thing as you and they exist just look a little more

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  • LOL LMAO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

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  • Yeah man, this standard is insane. You kinda sound like a crazy person to be honest. Serious question though. Assuming you find a girl that hits all these. You really think what you're offering is something this girl is looking for? Maybe she's into atheist, Hispanic dudes?

    The truth is you're gonna' settle in the end. Either settle for her not meeting any of these requirements or settle for being alone.

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  • Yep yep mmm hmm mmm hmm, bad bad.

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  • Most women you meet you won't hit it off with. Typically that means you need to be finding whole pools of women who meet your criteria to find one you actually connect with well enough to get serious with.

    My guess is you're not finding any.

    They exist but they're rare. You're going to have to go through a religious dating site or something similar, and you're going to find very, very few women there with STEM degrees. As someone else noted, a 7/10 outgoing girl who was in a program surrounded by mainly men is only going to be a virgin if she's -very- religious. Traditional, religious girls are more likely to want to be a stay at home wife or do some sort of social focused work then go into STEM.

    You are demanding more than you're offering, because her virginity is worth more than yours, and being outgoing is a significant factor for men that you lack.

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