What happened to the men that actually want to get to know a girl instead of just trying to fuck her immediately?

I'm not easy and yes rejection is nothing new to me

But I also am attractive and I'm nice and the guys that I'm not attracted to usually approach me

And the funny part is the men who defend assholes who only want sex and lie are usually assholes too

I tried giving so called nice guys a chance but they are either too desperate or assholes when I start talking to them

And no I don't jump into relationships only been in 2 with guys who were good guys until my ex became an asshole and ignored me before he dumped he through text then he aologixed years later

Updates:
I know men want sex but it becomes a problem when men get mad just because the girl does not want to fuck him asap or she Rejects his request for sex. It's not my job to give pleasure to a random guy just because he is horny for a moment
I never dated all those assholes I only talked to them
Also, the assholes were nice and once I began to know them they revealed their true colors as an asshole

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Most Helpful Guy

  • For guys it usually starts with attraction that makes them want to know more about you. If there is no attraction to begin with then there is usually no interest in getting to know you, at least in a relationship type of way.

    For girls it's often the other way around. It's when then get know the guy that they build connection, comfort and attraction. Girls want those things before they create sexual attraction. Men want sexual attraction before they create those other things.

    We both reach the same conclusions, we just start at opposite ends of it.

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    • I know men want sex but it becomes a problem when men get mad just because the girl does not want to fuck him asap or she Rejects his request for sex

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    • I think females would be better off if they allowed themselves to feel sexual attraction. We work very similarly on an instinctive level, IMHO. We want a strong sexual attraction too, but have more things that could go wrong - ranging from a painful sexual experience to unplanned pregnancy to being murdered by a partner. Why see sex as bad? You don't have to jump into actually doing it, but feeling that desire and realizing its natural and important can really make relationships more positive. A fulfilling sex life is one of the most powerful bonding agents for a female.

    • I see your point but I still am not going to give it up easy

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly how you feel! I dated a guy who seemed really nice to start with then as we got further into the relationship I realised he was a right a**hole. I know you only spoke to them and didn't date them but some guys know how to play a girl. Another guy I went on a couple of dates with tried to get me to have sex on the 1st date and decided to sneak me round the back of his house so his parents wouldn't see me... Now I have a lovely boyfriend of 1 and a half years. Most of the other guys were young, selfish and good looking. The problem is they knew they could get multiple girls because of that so didn't want a relationship. It's when you feel that spark, and can't help but lock onto each others gaze, when he approaches you and doesn't push you into anything but discusses it with you, that's when you've found a good one.

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    • That's good that you got a good boyfriend. Do you think he is good looking? Or did you fall for him after learning more about him? I'm still single and my main focus is to do what I can to make myself happy

      I would get into a relationship if it's the right guy but I would rather be single than be in a unhealthy relationship

    • I think he's not bad looking, he's got a certain look which I'm attracted too but he's not a pretty boy. I felt a connection when we were talking cause he was so easy to talk too and made me laugh and feel happy. I think a deeper attraction come as you get to know a person.

      Oh definitely! It's better to be in a healthy relationship if you do go into one. I would say maybe me and my boyfriend spend too much time together and not enough socialising with others but at the moment we're happy with that.

    • I don't think it is healthy to not socialise outside the relationship.

What Guys Said 32

  • Well there are a few things here.

    1) Virtually all guys want to have sex. Even the ones who want to wait until marriage want to have sex, they just don't do it. The point is, that wanting to have sex is not the same as *only* wanting sex. This is something that's very common for girls to get confused about. They assume if a guy puts the moves on early that it's the only thing he wants. That might be the case, but it might not also.

    2) Players are far more likely to approach you and put the moves on you. That does not make them the majority. So the guys moving in fast are not representative. The other guys might be harder to find, because they are not out there like the players. But somehow you have to find them.

    3) Any time a guy or girl either one is consistently getting with the wrong person, then they should take a good look at themselves, and question what they may be doing wrong. Either they are just bad at picking someone. Or they are sending signals that maybe they don't intend to send. Or maybe there is something about them that turns the other person off. It could be a lot of things. So it never hurts to take a good long and honest look at yourself and what you are doing.

    4) It could also be that your expectations are too high. Do you have high expectations for other people? Like do you have high expectations for yourself, for coworkers, friends, etc? I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with that, but it does limit your possibilities.

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    • Bla bla I have done my time in self evaluation

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    • I took a break from dating while single to work on myself

      So you can stop repeating the word yourself as if you are slow or something

    • stay off my post

  • they're everywhere bro. all men want to get to know a girl genuinely, but its not just any girl, they only feel that way towards a girl they want too get to know more than the boundaries of a fuck buddy or a one night stander.

    every time you meet a guy, he's interested in one of two thing, liking you and getting to know you better, or just wanting to fuck you. some cases it's both, then you got a homerun lol.

    gotta find a good match bruh, otherwise you'll always be asking yourself this question.

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  • There are a lot of guys who probably do, I'm a guy like that but just as you said you turned down a lot of guys you're not attracted to I have over ten rejections towards me without a single acceptance, typically the more attractive the guy the more they just want sex since they are almost spoiled about it and like to flaunt their looks/egos, I am no stud, and I have very high standards on a girls looks myself so I'm not saying looks don't matter, but you can't question where decent guys are when you turn them down or aren't attracted to them

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    • I don't turn down all men

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    • I'm done with you

    • You don't care yet you still reply
      Lol ok

  • where are those guys? there in the same places you are asking the same questions you are asking. I remember when i was single feeling like I was often on an island. i'd go out and it just seemed like everyone was chasing a casual sex thing. just keep looking. it's like mining for gold... you gotta sift through a lot of dirt, mud and sludge

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  • in my opinion, you got a lot of rage in you. Pretty much every male you replied to, you attacked them. After reading your replies I wouldn't want to spend time around you, just saying.

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    • I'm a nice person, I'm just not a doormat
      I'm pretty sure girls do not want to spend time with you either

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    • @Beaver19 it's a little more than that, she hurting and frustrated but also her attitude aligns with a "if a guy says something that in any way means that My opinion is not correct then I need to find some way of making them feel bad" attitude.
      I don't know how to explain it better, I feel sorry for her as I do think she's a nice person,,, just filled with rage, pain and frustration

    • I lost my father to cancer, watched my mother lode her mind from that, and lost my hair permanently due to medical tests I had going on all in one years time when I was 18, I am an only child and am often referred to as homely (now with no hair double that) at no point did I ever go around doing what this girl is doing and you can bet your ass there was and is still frustration and anger at what's happened to me, so while you may have compassion for a... individual like this I do not, maybe something real will happen to her one day to make her know things aren't so bad but I'm proof it can be much worse.

      I don't want that to be taken as a sob story of my own, just giving context on why I respond the way I do.

  • Some date just b/c their little head pest drives them to it out of self satisfaction
    It doesn't take a long conversation for the little head to send big head the message A-OK, get me some of that ASAP

    Even the ones shopping for an ideal girlfriend fit for the big head will cave into little head demands to accelerate this cumbersome process.

    Of course, those guys that either manage the little head or get it satisfaction elsewhere may move at a more appropriate pace...

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  • .. you know you post this and genuine guys like myself and lots of others I'm sure see this. The problem is that is that I believe women aren't giving these type of guys the time of day, probably because they can't even see that what they are truly looking for admitting it or not are right in front of you the whole time, I guess some are too busy chasing after guys that don't exist or for in that filter that Hollywood has brainwashed society with

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  • The attractive men that want to get to know a girl exist. They have options though. The demand for attractive guys who are fond of commitment is high. I'm implying that you've met some of these men via the quote, "rejection is nothing new to me."

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    • yes i know what rejection is lol

  • I'm right here. Usually the girls I meet either get offended by pervy humor, or sleep around. I'm having trouble finding a healthy balance of humor and self control. The rest just seem to be bored with me because I ain't a party type.

    Thinkin I'm setting the bar a bit too high maybe. XD

    I like the more methodical style of dating, get to know each other, hang out and such, and see where it goes.

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  • What happened to them you ask? you drove them nuts, until they started to view you [women] as an object, they want nothing to do with you other than intercourse.

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  • They're on GaG

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    • And most guys on gag on desperate and weird and sexist

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    • See you're just paying attention to the negative oness

    • I fit the "Weird" category :D :D :D

  • Well for me I just don't try anymore, I got ****** over, lied to, cheated on to many times. But it depends on the guy, you just have to weed out the losers

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  • you´ve rejected all of them :P

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    • Learn to read
      I obviously did not

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    • Most guys will lie to get sex

    • yeah that´s what i said XD

  • What's wrong with wanting both? Sex is equally important for me if I were to get to know a woman.

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    • I have no problem with sex in a committed relationship

  • They're out there. They may be rare, but they exist

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  • They're fucking extinct. You gotta deal with us perverted maniacs now.

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  • sup.

    you rang?

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  • We moved to Alaska :)

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  • Just dont ignore the good guys and just say what are u interested to. i am a nice guy but if the 1 date i have with a girl is in my apartment its sending a wrong signal

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  • I am right here mamacita

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  • They are about, you just need to actually pay them some attention

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  • Nothing happened to those guys, i am a guy who isn't about the sex.

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  • well, unattractive men dont exist for women, what if i was one of those men?

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  • Despite how awesome girls think they are, their usually just a pain in the ass. Fuck em and forget em.

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  • They're usually the guys that women your age reject.

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  • you are seing enemies and assholes everywhere, maybe its you that is bad

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  • They became increasingly more rare due to natural selection and a female preference for men who take strong initiative.
    Men who you are not attracted to approaching you is probably a bit of a luxury problem and I think you should treat it as such.

    For actual advice: Those men usually won't be found at the local nightly watering hole.
    If you just had the need to vent: There, there. It gets better.

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  • Well there are less and less guys like that. If say there are two reasons.

    One is that some guys were always in a big hurry to have sex. Many of them had to wait in the past. Now many women don't wait so they don't have to and will move on rather than wait.

    The second group are guys who have been burned by waiting in the past. As more and more women have sex quickly if they are into a guy, the odds that a woman who wants to move slowly isn't really that into you had become higher and higher. The second group of guys waited in the past and got burned for doing so. So now they avoid waiting because it's too risky.

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  • There are plenty of guys looking for a relationship, they generally aren't the most attractive guys, at least not the most attractive young guys.

    Nearly all guys used to be looking for a relationship because they had to. With the advent of the sexual revolution and women's equality they don't anymore. Feminism has allowed us attractive men to liberate our true nature. Ain't it great!

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  • If every guy you run into turns out to be an "asshole" maybe the problems is you.

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    • I never said every guy is an asshole
      Learn to read the description

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    • I never said that I blame all men

    • I never dated those assholes I only talked to them
      It was while I was getting to know them that they revealed they were assholes

      I took time off from dating to evaluate myself

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 1

  • I've honestly met very few men who only want sex. Sex is always more than sex - validation, connection, power, attention and so on.

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    • I feel like the kind of energy you're putting out there is what draws certain guys to you. So what are you putting out there?

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    • I definitely move on that's not an issue
      No, they start off as nice and reveal their true colors later
      I never said all the nice guys are assholes
      The one who turn into assholes just present themselves as nice

      Most likely because their plan failed for getting sex from me

    • I also put in my details that I do not date these assholes I just talk to them
      If you read my description you would know that

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