I was slighted big time?

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 years. We are talking about moving in together once i save up more money he is 28 and im 24. His mom and dad are taking a week long vacation this summer on a cruise and im not invited. It is him his 27 and 23 year old brother going. I find it odd that his family has always made me feel like part of the family since day one and aren't inviting me. Its not like we have been dating for 4 months its been 4 years. And his parents know we plan on moving in together. Neither of his brothers have a SO. His mom is paying for him which i find odd because he is a 28 year old grown man. I am even more hurt that my boyfriend isn't willing to take a stand and say look either you invite my long term serious girlfriend or im not going. Its like he doesn't even care that im very hurt by this and he is choosing them over me which i find very odd that after 4 years i come second to his family especially since we are adults talking about settling down together. To me it is also very concerning that his mommy is paying for a 28 year old to vacation with her and he is accepting it. I kinda thought family vacations without long term sos ended like years ago. Is this a red flag that he is too attached to his family and that he can't put our relationship first? We dont plan on getting married so dont even bother saying it will change after that because thats a moot point.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nothing wrong with what he is doing. Maybe his parents want to spend time with just the family. I can see how you are pissed that you aren't invited, but maybe money's tight for them. Maybe they have something special planned just for the family. Maybe, maybe, maybe. It can be anything.

    And your attitude about his parents shouldn't pay for it because of his age is ridiculous. You guys aren't married and you said it's not ever happening. Maybe his parents know this. If so, they aren't entitled to invite you.

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    • So what if we have been together 20 years does that mean our relationship isn't an pertinent just because we dont have a legal document no. I mean will it always be ok to be rudr and exclude me forever because we aren't married? No. I think my boyfriend needs to be a man and cut the apron strings and not have mommy paying for his vacation and say if they are going to be rude and exclude the most important women in his life than he isn't going. I already stated that we have been together 4 years and i see them every week by now they should see me as serious and part of the package deal. I thought they would want to do special things with me there and i would think after th amount of time they would feel comfortable enough to invite me
      Also i would pay my own way

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    • It's just a parent thing. I still tell my mother to quite getting me stuff for Christmas and she gets pissed about it and makes me feel bad. So I just let her do what she wants to do. It's just a thing parents want to do. Every parent is different. It's just who his parents are. It seems like you are more pissed about her paying for it then the fact you weren't invited lol. Maybe you are just unhappy with the guy subconsciously and are looking for reasons to hate him...

    • No trust me i am very happy with him. I guess its just that i thought i was closer to his family than i was an its apparent i thought wrong. I could understand it a lot more if i only saw his fam say like once a year but i literally see them every week just about as often as he sees them. I really thought they saw me like a second daughter. And i would think my boyfriend would want me along. I guess im more hurt that he didn't even fight for me or try to see my pov in my feeling hurt. Or say look. mom and dad my girlfriend and i are very serious ajd i want her to come along. He is basically telling me he can't stand up for me and i come second to his family of origin which is very weird considering we have been together a good amount of time and we are in an established adult relationship looking to start our lives together

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its just a family vacation. They probably wanted it to be just family. If you expect him to refuse family time just cause you're not there you are being unreasonable. Family comes first

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    • Well after 4 years he should consider me family

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • To be honest hun i dont see why your concerned with it?
    he'd probably accepted as it is a family holiday
    yes you probably are treated like family but they probably can't afford more people

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    • Well i would obvs pay for myself. I just find it odd that after being together 4 years in a committed adult relationship that they dont consider me part of the family. I consider us a unit meaning thst we dont have to do everything together big things like vacations and holidays and such are done together. Its just odd that his mom. is still paying for a grown mans vacation at 28. I mean he should be. saying look we are starting our lives together and if you guys aren't going to include my girl who is now my family then i will not he attending. The fact that he is perfectly ok with my exclusion is hurtful to me.

  • look girl its his family family comes first does not matter if this guy has been dating for 20 damn years ok... maybe they just want to go on a family vacation alone as their family only. you are not his pet for him to take you everywhere he goes and let the poor guy breath because your description can get pretty old

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    • Well i would think after 4 years and us starting our lives together he would see me as his primary family not a separate entity from them and he should want me incorporated into his family by now and the fact that his mom is still. paying dor his vacations shows that he can't cut the apron strings. You are a grown ass man your mommy shouldn't be supporting you still

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