Last night I was talking to the guy that I've been seeing for a while now. It's been pretty low key between us for about half a year... with sleep overs and hanging out, seemingly the typical FWB scenario but deeper than that somewhere in there. In his words "there's definitely chemistry and I feel the connection, but I just can commit right now".
Well, I finally got the balls to say something to him last night as we started kissing. It's been bothering me, so I pulled back and let him know that it wasn't because I wasn't into it... but the fact is that I'm pretty into him and that I felt like he wasn't so much into me as he was into sleeping with me.
I explained that I didn't expect some huge decision, but I would like to know what I am to him? That I realized it was my fault for letting it get to this point as well, but I care about him and our friendship or whatever it may be.
To this he said he agreed we should stop having sex for a while. He said he didn't want me feeling badly about it or causing any confusion. But he was specific about the "for a while"... so I asked if there was something he meant to be after the "for a while" period...
He said only that he didn't want to have a time line, and just to be. That he enjoys being with me and having fun and that I make him smile. I never got an answer for what exactly he feels toward me or what "for a while" means to him.
He still held me closely all night and kissed me like normal. I don't know what to make of it. I am confident that we are fine, but I would like to be more confident in what to expect or what I should do in order to see if anything would happen between us further.
What do you think? Any suggestions?
Most Helpful Girl
You did the right thing and now only time will tell where this is headed. I was seeing a guy for a year and I did the same thing, and he was vague too. It did not end up going anywhere and I shut down contact with him. He was fine with the casual deal we had and did not want to say one way or another what we were. He wouldn't call us FWB but he did say he did not know me well enough for a relationship (after a year, please). He just wanted to keep me on the hook. I don't even fault him. After all it is up to us to look out for our own best interest, and not leave it up to the guy to do it. I shut down contact with him because I told him I was going to start dating, that I was ready for a relationship, and he did not really have anything to say to that but kept calling me and then adding in sexual texts here and there as well. He obviously wasn't respecting me and that p*ssed me off.
So, yes, keep sex out of it, but if that turns into not hanging out and not going out (you should be going out and dating) as well as no sex, that is not a good sign. Be aware that the temptation on both of your parts to have sex will be there is you are still making out. Good Luck!0