So desperate and scared that I'll never find a boyfriend?

"Dont look for a relationship, you'll find one eventually" and "there's someone out there for everyone"... I've been told this so many times by people but it really doesn't help. I've never had an SO and I'm just tired of being alone. I am 20 years old and sometimes strangers call me beautiful/pretty-yet I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone will think I am attractive. A guy has never asked for my phone number. I only notice, every once in a while or occasionally, a guy will stare out me blatantly when I am out in public but they never approach me or do anything but stare. Older men sometimes call me beautiful/pretty but obviously, I do not want a relationship with an older guy. I just want someone that I care about, and that cares for me. Someone that I can feel safe with, someone that can cuddle with me and I can fall asleep in his arms :') Just sounds so wonderful. But I am scared that I will be too old before finding or a boyfriend or I will not find one at all. Literally, I will cry everyday because I long so much for love. I am an extremely compassionate person so I guess this is why I feel so upset over not having a boyfriend. I need someone to tell me the bad things associated with love so that I won't feel so depressed. I always think and dream about falling in love that the more I wait, the more I want it (love). I don't know what do to? How can I stop having such strong feelings of love?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Your desperation and fear is scarring them away.

  • The best things are worth waiting for! No worries, it'll come when it's meant to... Never ever settle! Even when your first chance comes along, take your time to fall in love, just enjoy another's company -- I am 29 & have been dating a guy better than I've ever dreamed - and it wasn't until about 24ish that I started hanging out with guys, but I've never accepted relationships because they weren't what I wanted - great guys but still didn't feel right - at my age now, friends have been through so many relationships, a cpl have divorced -- you think you are missing out but you are still young, you will be such a treasure to the right guy down the road because not only are you independent, he will respect the fact that you haven't "been around" (I hear that one a lot), but also because you won't be ruined by past relationships (jealously, insecurity etc...) --- trust me when I say I know your struggle and your longing for it, I felt it too, I know how much it can hurt to long for but trust me, it's not worth having if you're not treated right or it doesn't feel right... I watch people struggle in the wrong relationships all the time... Aim for friendships with guys, that's where I started - and if they want to date you, make sure they meet simple expectation of respect, consistency and reliability... If they can't give you that in a friendship, move on --- I have some great guy friends out of it and I never thought I'd have the relationship I do now... But I can finally say it was worth the wait! In your position I hated when someone would say that to me lol... But now I feel it...

    So please please keep believing, it will happen - I do understand - vent how you need to, release the tears when you feel them... Accept it as it is in the moment... But keep your head up and believe -- patience will reward you :)

    • thanks so much for the encouragement, sweetie <3