How do I get a shy/nervous guy to relax?

I've been talking to this guy for almost 6 months! and the more I've gotten to know him the more I see he is a very shy, insecure, nervous person. I want things to progress beyond talking about being together to actually being together. But I can see he needs some more on my part to make him feel more secure. I am a really chatty, personable person. What am I missing in terms of putting him more at ease? Would love any insight from those of you ladies with shy boyfriends or guys who consider themselves shy and what worked to make them feel more comfortable. Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Assure him that he's a valuable person and that nothing he'll ever say will offend you. Tell him you trust him to share anything and everything on his mind. And of course opening up to your own skeletons will help him too.


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What Guys Said 3

  • One reason he is shy is because he does not feel that he is accepted in society and that he feels reluctant to express his ideas. A good way to help him become more secure is for you to be more acceptable to his personality.

  • xanax.


  • you can't do that. how funy you women are. you think you can change bad boys n players into saints, and shy guy nolifers into studs. you must have really high prides.

    • only he can change himself and yet not alone and not completely. but even if he changes he'll never be ideal.

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    • nothing, just dont put any masks on. be original and smooth. if you are genuinely smooth you can teach him some of that. also he has to develop his own self. he has to get out of his self and his little mind chat, and learn to be more open and uninhibited. learn to be more extroverted and giving, than leechy and sucking from others.

    • also the reasons of his defensiveness and that shell that surrounds him have to be examined, and if possible, by your or a therapist's help, slowly overcomed. also he has to face his fears straight ahead, and purposely expose himself at them so that he achieves a self learnt desensitization. finally he has to learn to take himself less seriously and begin to learn the true core of humility. low confidence is not humility, not even close.

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