Can an Insecurity problem ruin the personality in a girl?

I have a big problem, I have always hated myself, since I can remember. I dont know why, I can't put a word on why, but I just do. Its this thought I have everyday, and its putting me down. I can't take peoples compliments, and you may think its because of attention, but its not. I really hate myself

I don't know what to do, Im scared no guys will want me, because of my insecurity about myself. I know that most of the guys want a girl with confidence, but I can't fake it, I've tried..

If you dated a girl/guy with low self esteem, would you stay away from the person or what would you do?

Im 17


Most Helpful Guy

  • "If you dated a girl/guy with low self-esteem, would you stay away from the person or what would you do?" I wouldn't date a girl with low self-esteem to begin with... since I need a girl who's cute + knows it (secure with herself).


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know from experience that insecurity can change you. I was insecure for about 3 years and that bubbly personality I had was gone. I went through a phase where I snapped at anyone and everyone. It wasn't a good time for me. But now I have confidence and I love myself. And tbh I wouldn't date an insecure person. I also wouldn't recommend you to even think about dating because if you can't love yourself how in the world do expect to love someone else? Love yourself and accept you and then you can go on about loving someone else.

    I don't know you but I'm going to say this. You are special and you are unique and you are beautiful. I know this because I know my God. And I know for sure because he didn't make one ugly girl on this big beautiful earth. I'm a Christian and I'm praying that you will love yourself.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Forget about dating right now. That's not important.

    Can you talk to someone about this problem? A school counselor, therapist, priest/etc? It can help tremendously.

    About your question: you're right that it would scare guys off, yes, but that's only because good men want their women to have self-love. You deserve that too. :)

  • Yes but you are under 18 lol so normal.

  • I'd stay away from em, yea.

  • Yes it can but as long as your not insecure about everything u should be fine


What Girls Said 2

  • You shouldn't be dating.

    You should consider some counseling.

    • not planning to date. just a question i thought about for the future.
      counseling I've tried, doesn't work

  • Actually, most guys gravitate towards girls with lower self esteem because it initially comes off as a girl just being shy and feminine. Confidence tends to intimidate them. Here's the problem with that. In the long run, low self esteem ruins relationships. So even though a guy may initially be drawn to your likely more submissive demeanor, further down the road in the relationship the jealousy, possessiveness, and constant need for attention that results from your low self esteem isn't going to be cute anymore.

    You shouldn't go into a relationship with low self esteem. You're supposed to work on that FIRST, before even thinking about getting with a guy. If you don't, you're much more likely to accept abuse, and you'll feel like your self-worth comes from your boyfriend, which is a crappy and ineffective way to deal with self worth problems.

    Write down positive qualities and abilities you have and keep reminding yourself of them. Take some time to think about and recognize the negative qualities you have, and then actively work to gradually change them for the better. Don't bring anything to do with physical appearance into this, as confidence comes from WITHIN. Confidence based off looks is fragile and worthless.

    You may also need to check for depression if the self-improvement doesn't effective.