Do you believe in the saying that once a cheater always a cheater?

do you believe in the saying that once a cheater always a cheater?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, and I'll explain.
    My boyfriend of over a year, that treats me with the most respect, tenderness, love, affection, and understanding, I've ever experienced was a cheater.
    He made the decision to invite an ex in that made it clear she wanted sex, and they slept together while he was in a relationship with another girl.
    He said he stopped halfway through and cried about it. He then confessed what he had done.
    His then girlfriend broke up with him, and even though they tried to make it work later, it didn't.
    And about a year and a few months after he cheated, he started talking to me. he explained that his father had died beforehand and his girlfriend wasn't emotionally there for him, there relationship was turning into just sex. That being said, he still felt terrible and knew there was no excuse, he had a weak moment and made the worst decision possible.
    But everything about the way he talked to me, explained what happened, and handled himself made me give him a try. And I'm so happy I did. He treats me better than any of those guys before who had never cheated.
    Cheating doesn't define a person's behavior forever. People can feel genuine remorse, accept the guilt, and change for the better.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • For all intent and purposes, yes.
    I believe people can change and that people make mistake and can learn from them, but I have zero tolerance for cheating.
    Cheating shows to me that the person had zero disregard and zero respect (less than zero respect, even) for your partner at some point. Rather than breaking up to pursue someone new, said person actively decided to cheat instead.
    No excuse is acceptable to talk it right in my opinion.

    As a guy it's assumed that I have very little selfcontrol and am much more prone to jump to any chance of obtaining sex. Yet, in a relationship of 4 years with sex only 8 times in total or so, I easily and without any sense of temptation while multiple opportunities occurred, managed to not cheat nor consider doing so.

    I expect at least as much self control of someone else were they in a similar situation in the past.

    Even if they changed, I'm not willing to take that risk.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Yea to some point!

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  • Maybe some people can change, but I personally wouldn't count on it. Imma stay skeptical.

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  • I think most people think once they've gotten away with it a few times it becomes like a game. kinda like stealing or light letterboxes on fire. but other person gotta dump you and not take yo' ass back because then he KNOWS you'll just forgive if him/her if they fuck up. lol so once there's a crease in the paper that's your relationship it's time to end and move on, trust is gone.

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  • Nope, that's BS

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  • aahh.. a little bit yes

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  • Most of the time, but like for anything, there are exceptions.

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  • Generally, yes.

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  • Yes I think they likely would cheat again

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  • Somewhat. Some people can change. But it may be a rare occurrence.

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  • Yes, for a cheater it's like an addiction that needs to get cleaned

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  • No people can change

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  • I don't, I believe people can change

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  • My boyfriend did and even tho he swears up and down that he will never do it again it still hurts and I accuse him and I don't want to but what am I supposed to believe if he is out all night or if I haven't heard from him for a week

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What Guys Said 15

  • There's no magic brush that we can paint everyone with. It all comes down to that person's past or proven track record.

    If my partner was going to cheat I would rather she was drunk in vegas in some type of rare situation. But if she was just hooking up with a dude from work, I'd find it hard to believe she wouldn't do it again.

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  • It has been my experience that this is true. Everyone whom I have known over the years (man or woman) that has cheated, has done so multiple times. The person who cheats once and only once is the unicorn I've never encountered.

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    • What if it's your girlfriend that cheated on her ex but not with you

    • My first wife cheated on her first husband.
      I believed that this was a one off exception.
      I thought I was different.
      I was wrong.
      She cheated on me even more than she had cheated on him. This was after we had a child together.

      I divorced her
      I got custody of my son.
      I remarried to a woman with zero tolerance for cheating.
      We've been happy together for more than a decade.

      I had to learn the hard way...
      Once a cheater, always a cheater.

  • Definitely.
    People rarely change ( with the exception of a major traumatic event )
    They just become more efficient versions of themselves.

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  • I would believe that - They would be tainted in my eyes.

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  • hmm i don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater however, that could just be naievity talking. Thoughts @vishna

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  • No, this is not so, however it increases the likelihood.
    There are all kinds of reason people cheat. It can be simply boredom, someone providing attention they're not getting otherwise, or even one might think they have a chance with someone else with a higher SMV.
    What is more important is what happened to the original relationship where one has chosen to step out. It IS a choice.

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  • people change

    cheaters keep on cheatin'

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  • Depends on the person. Everybody fucks up, some people atone for their mistakes and don't repeat it again, other people just never learn

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  • I believe that if she cheated once, she'll do it again. I'm sorry but if you're that arrogant enough to cheat on your SO, you're bound to do it again.

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  • No, I don't believe in sayings.

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  • Yes, I believe in that.

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  • if u like say this then it also applies to transexuals as once a X always an X
    js

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  • No, not really. I mean, people change.

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  • I have given up my cheating ways its so hard beating pokemon without duplicating rare. candies

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  • People change but would you really want to give a cheater the benefit of the doubt? I wouldn't.

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