So the other night my boyfriend went downtown with some of his friends. I recently found out from a girl that she saw him at a strip club. He told me he would never go there. She said she saw him there with some guys friends. Should I break up with him for lying to me and going to a strip club? That's a huge deal, right? Girls, how do I confront him and what should I say?
Going to the strip club isn't the big issue here; lying is.
Of course, if you create a hostile controlling oppressive environment, then he has no choice but to lie about this and other things as well because, when you get right down to it, people (especially adults) are miserable when they are not free. Such relationships are doomed to be bad and likely fail.
Yikes. I wouldn't go so far as to say break up with him right from the get-go, but definitely confront him with it.
Ask him what he did when he hung out with his friends. If he lies about it, then tell him you know he was there and that you don't appreciate the dishonesty. That you would've been okay with it if he hadn't tried to hide it from you.
if this is the first time honesty has been an issue, i don't think you break up with him for going to a strip club. i think you confront him and ask him why he lied. you explain to him that dishonesty is a deal breaker in a relationship and if honest is going to be an issue that we should end it right now
This is the choice you have - you can either show him with your actions that you are someone he can trust and not have to hide anything from, or you can show him that you're someone whose up tight and judgmental and will hold grudges for petty shit that doesn't matter.
In other words, forgive him, tell him you've already forgive him, and move on and never mention this ever again... or "confront" him and sow the seeds to the inevitable end to your relationship.
Well going to the strip club isn't a big deal, but lying is. I dont think its a dealbreaker but it does raise question marks as to how trustworthy he is. You should probably just be straight up with him and tell him what you think.
The thing is. If your going to be so strict about him going to a strip club. You better believe that forbidden fruit will taste sweeter.
Maybe don't be so unreasonable and he wouldn't have to lie. Either way, no its not a reason to break up, unless he's getting lap dances and touching women there. But its defiantly a reason to go back to the drawing board and maybe find a better solution.
Ultimatums like your not allowed going or else, doesn't work well especially at your age.
a lot of guys go to strip clubs at one point or another. unless he is going there all the time I don't see it being a big deal. as to why he said he'd never go there I don't really know why. there are some bars out there people go to but don't want to admit they did
Uhhh yeah that would be a huge deal, at least for me. First, I would confront him on the fact that he lied to you, then you should bring up that you are his girlfriend. If you think you can forget about it and move on, then you don't need to break up, but honestly I don't think I could forget and move on, so don't feel bad if you need to...
If I were you I'd break up with him, but that's just me.
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