Is it bad I turned a guy down because he was overweight?

This guy I know asked me out, he is really nice and we're friends but he's extremely overweight. he's obese. I feel really shallow because the reason I don't want to date him is because of his weight and I'm just not attracted him.

Updates:
Then he asked me why I wouldn't date him and he went "Is it because I'm fat?" And I lied and said no 😞

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no obligation to date anyone. He probably has some self esteem issues as is so I do hope you let him down easy at least. I think we all get that it probably took a lot of guts for him to ask you out. So obese or not, he is one brave fellow.

    But no, don't feel bad about it. And more importantly, treat him as you did before. Don't let his, rather flattering, interest in you be something that ruins what could be a valuable friendship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • been there, you feel like a bad person but you are not. sometimes you feel attracted to someone and sometimes you dont. like yes it might seem like you are a bad person but you can't just date him: being in a relationship or something does mean you have to have sex with him one day.. urg.

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What Guys Said 16

  • No - you can date who you want. If you're not attracted to him you're not attracted. Nothing you can do to change it. Better than continuing to go out with him, knowing full well you're not into it, and leading him on in the process.

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  • You are not obliged to date anyone you're not attracted to.

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  • Naw, You gotta do what you gotta do. Just dont complain about how the guys you do find attractive end up treating you lol, That gets annoying :P

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  • It's almost shallow of him to even say that, I mean he should know if he's over weight girls like yourself might not like that.

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  • It isn't shallow. If he were chubby it would be shallow, Obese though, no. That says a lot about a person and has a lot of negative physical implications.

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  • I'd do the same thing. Say, "No".

    There was once this girl I hung out with as friends. We went to the beach one night and she kept insisting I sit next to her on the bench. Sorry, but I wasn't gonna waste my first kiss on her. She was obese.

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  • you didn't have to lie. no one wins when you lie. if he realized it was cuz of his weight he could be in the gym now bettering himself.

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    • now he's gonna look within himself for problems which were never problems to begin with.

  • Its nothing for you to be ashamed about, if you aren't attracted him you aren't attracted to him. I can't help but feel bad for the guy though.

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  • Should you feel bad, probably not, everyone has their own preferences. It would be interesting to see if the genders had been switched though, and a heavy girl was rejected by a guy.

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  • We are not attracted to people for various reasons. We can't help that. It doesn't make you shallow.

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  • It's fine. And it's fine you didn't want to tell him why.

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  • you could have helped him like he might start losing weight now

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  • No, nothing wrong with that. I turn down fat girls who want me simply because there's no attraction. I could never get hard for a fat girl no matter how nice she is.

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  • As a former overweight guy, this is why I never asked out women.

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  • Why are you friends, if you don't find him attractive?

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    • I'm supposed to only be friends with attractive people?

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    • Because friendship isn't about looks.

    • Unfortunately, they are. Most people, aren't people with "ugly" as you say, people. It just doesn't work that way

  • It's only bad for him. Most women are extremely shallow, so you shouldn't run into any social pressure because of this, and knowing how shallow you are, this is probably all you're worried about anyway.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Well no you can't feel terrible for not being attracted to him, and I don't think you should've put your feelings aside just to accept an invitation that you wouldn't be comfortable with in the first place.

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  • Not bad at all.
    I honestly think there's hardly anybody out there who would date someone they are not physically attracted to.

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  • If you're not attracted to him because of his looks, it's a legit reason to turn someone down

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  • Attraction is an important part of a relationship. It's what differentiates liking someone as a friend and liking someone as a romantic interest.

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  • He wouldn't have asked you out unless he found you attractive so why is it wrong to reject him because you don't think he's attractive? As long as you are kind about it

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  • yourenot expected to be attracted to everyone. Just tellhim he's sweet but you'd rather just stay friends.

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  • No it isn't. It's perfectly normal to not be attracted to someone due to their looks. As long as you were nice about it then it's perfectly fine.

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  • No. You don't find him hot.

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  • No you are entitled to your tastes.

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