Guys, If you felt rejected by a girl, would you give her another chance?

We first hooked up and a month later he asked me out on a date, we then hung out a few more times. I was away at school then, so we'd just hook up whenever we saw each other. We never talked about what we were or our feelings. We both gave a lot of mixed signals and I think he felt I had rejected him a few months ago because when he tried to kiss me I didn't let him so he just left the bar. I also told him we should just be friends when I was angry because I didn't know what we were. He got pretty mad, we didn't hook up for two months and now we've been sleeping together again.. I like him and care about him. I really just want to spend time with him again. I don't know what he wants.. It also doesn't make anything easier because Im moving away in a month. We recently talked when we were drunk and he told me he was just scared of rejection and being hurt and he didn't know how to say how he felt before. I said I liked him and he said he liked me also. He also said he was hurt and upset over what I said.

What should I do?


What Guys Said 3

  • I'll answer the main question by saying it depends on the person. Some people can easily dust themselves off and try again after being rejected. Others, no. As for the question at the end, it seems like you guys are very confused with eachother. Ask yourself what you like about him. Can you handle relationships well? Are you able to communicate with him and/or meet with him regularly after you move? Most boys fear rejection because it's intimidating to them. Going up to a girl you have great feelings for is tough. Now, if you're only getting together for sex it's a different story. What that would describe is more of a friend with benefits situation. Because I don't know enough about you two, taking it further is something you will have to decide for yourself.

    • He is the type of person that doesn't take rejection well. He told me he is scared of rejection. He wouldn't even apply to certain jobs if he feels he won't get them because he's scared of the rejection or feeling like he's not good enough. We definitely are very confused. Throughout the whole time, there have been so many mixed signals and emotions. I would say we are both at fault for this. I really want to try because I'm sick of living with this confusion and dont want to be wondering what if. I know there's potential for us because we have such a great time when were together. We started off we just sleeping together after a night out but then he asked me out on a date. He took me to dinner and we had a really great time. We hung out a few times again after but then I went back to school, about 2 hours away. We didn't talk about what we were and would just hook up when we saw eachother. I moved back to the city and it just stayed that way, with confusion and mixed signals still

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    • Keep eye on the jealousy. If he is trying to control who you hang out with or spend time with that shows a lack of trust. If it's just small playful jealousy then that's fine. I think if you guys can come to terms with how you feel and you can communicate well the relationship can then grow! Take your time, don't feel pressured, relax and enjoy the time you have with someone you care for. :)

    • He's not trying to control it he just gets upset when it's other random guys. He called me mean when I was on the phone with another guy that I was flirting with. I think we really do just need to put everything out there. We're both scared to put our true feelings out there I think. should I suggest we do something just us two? What should I say/ suggest we do?

  • It's hard to tell without knowing the details but it definitely sounds like he likes you. Probably more than you like him... which is why he might be scared of rejection since you already brought up the "lets be friends" thing.

    • In the begining we used to talk a lot, He was the one asking me out. He would do cute things for me. Now I feel Im the one who has to message him first all the time and it's just turned into sex for him. but I think that maybe because we never defined or talked about what we were and I did sort of push him away. Is there any way I can make him open up again so we can hang out agian and go back to the begining where we actually went on dates and not just had sex? What can I do?

  • He really does like you!
    Hmm if I "felt" rejected yes because like you described it, you didn't actually reject him did you?
    If she actually rejected me but wanted to get back with me that's a different story, I'd have difficulty trusting her

    • I didn't really reject him more like just turn down his kiss but he took it to heart and got mad. also when I said we should be just friends he was pretty mad and didn't talk to me. I apologized and told him I didn't mean to hurt him, I did it because I was frustrated because I liked him and didn't know what we were. He told me he is scared of rejection. He doesn't take it well, so I can see how he has issues trusting me now so I just want to make him feel like he can trust me again.

    • Yeah I can really see why he feels hurt and anger but you didn't even reject him! You like him too right? So go for it, tell him how you really feel about him and the actions you made were because you like him!

    • Yes, I really do like him too! I always liked him I just didn't know what I wanted before