I don't know which guy to choose, or even if the choice exists? Any help?

I've had a friend with benefits for about 6 months now but we've been friends for a little over a year. Let's call the friends with benefits Ryan. When I first met him, I instantly felt that 'connection' but I never acted on it. It actually wasn't until 6 months into our friendship that Ryan made a move on me and I was really shocked that he was attracted to me too. Obviously this was doomed from the start but we decided a no strings attached relationship would be best. We both had our own lives to worry about without factoring in commitment. It was going great for such a long time but I know 100% that I got attached and I'm about 70% sure that he got attached. He's dropped hints like wanting to hang out more with me, getting jealous when I went on a date with another guy, once when I jokingly said I was gonna have to start looking for another guy because he was so busy he got a little possessive over me (essentially saying I was his) and seemed nervous when I made a joke (not even about us) about a girlfriend. Overall I know that I've fallen really hard for him and it took me awhile to admit it to myself that I love him.

But my problem is that he and I just can't be together. He's older than me, holds 2 jobs, and has a child. We connect so well together and I don't feel like I've ever felt so deeply in love before but I don't know what to do at this point concerning Ryan.

So I figured the best thing was to move on but every time I talk to someone new they just don't compare to Ryan. I started talking to this new guy (Let's call him Joe) and he's like the complete opposite of me but I've never met anyone so sweet before. He just seems so genuine and I really want to like him, I really do. There's a lot about him that I SHOULD love but I just don't feel the same connection that I felt with Ryan. I'm just so confused. I don't know what I should do at this point because things with Ryan seem to be a lost cause but I love him more than I've ever loved anyone before, and my feelings for Joe are just forced. Joe is perfect in every way but I'm so stuck on Ryan.
What should I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Blow off the friends with benefits.

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