When a man rejects a woman is it always because of looks?

We've been friends for a year and I've been in love with him for nearly as long. Couldn't take it any more and confessed, he rejected me. Said that he "wasn't interested". Just for closure I asked about his reasons, suggested that maybe I wasn't " his type", but he said that wasn't the case. He said that he didn't want a relationship right now as he's recently divorced and that, when he does he'll be looking at marriage (he's quite religious). So to make it easy I suggested to him that maybe he wasn't attracted to me which he was also kind of vague about, and said "not in that way... But you're an attractive woman". That last bit confused me. If you find someone attractive, get on well (as we do), click and have chemistry why reject them? Of course he could have been lying about the attractive thing but I don't think so. He's not the type to lie, and I often do get told I'm attractive so I just don't understand... !

Updates:
He's not unattractive, he's very good looking (but shy)
It's confusing as I gave him the option to say that I wasn't "his type" (ie I'm a tall brunette and his ex was a petite blonde so maybe that thought it was a physical turn off) but he said it wasn't that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • not necessary cause of looks , there is many other reasons someone might not want to date someone. it could be how her past relationships ended or were like , her personality , her income , the number of sexual partners she has had already , I don't know is a lot of reasons I could list that don't involve looks

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No it can be for many reason!

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What Guys Said 7

  • I can find women attractive, but not want to date them because (even though they are a good person), our personalities are just not dating compatible, she has personal issues, financial or employment issues, too hung up on friends, not sexy or adventurous, boring, dresses weird, weird personal opinions on things.

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  • It's not always because of looks.

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  • Not always.

    In your case, however, sensing you've been entirely honest here, there seems to be little to be confused over.

    By your admission, he isn't the type to lie. Yet, somehow, you question his reasons (he's newly divorced and not yet ready for a relationship) for not accepting your offer to date him.

    Why?

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    • Probably because I've often read that when men reject women its usial ly due to lack of physical attraction, and "I don't want a relationship" is just nice way of saying "I don't feel attraction for you". I gave him the option to say that yet he made a point of saying I was attractive which seemed strange.

    • You have a point. Under the circumstances, however, I believe his situation is reasonable and therefor legitimizes his response. And thus it should go unquestioned.

  • Its possible to find someone or something attractive looking but it can still not be your preference or something that works for me. For example I see the beauty in classical decoration but its not my style. I prefer modern

    At the end of the day, not every good friendship should turn into a relationship just because your a female and he's a male. Its like saying you can never have a great friend thats a male without wanting to date him. Because all great friends 'click and have chemistry'

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  • It absolutely is not always based on looks. They may be judged first (practically everyone does this) but they often aren't the only thing judged.

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  • My main reasons for rejecting girls is that they're insecure, lack drive or pose no challenge to me intellectually.
    And whilst I won't pretend to know exactly how good I look, the women I do end up with are well above average.

    To be honest though I probably wouldn't go for a girl I did not find attractive even if she had the killer personality. Its just, if we're talking more than a one night stand I want to be with a human, not a dress and some makeup with complementary body warmth.

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  • I've seen many girls that look like a princess but have crappy attitudes. And then I've seen girls that are really beautiful but they lack that thing whatever it is that's missing and I can't get attracted to them. So no it's no only based on looks.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Certainly not. Many men have more legit reasons to reject a woman.

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  • I came from a religious background, and when I read your post, that rung a bell quite loudly in my head. If I had to guess, religion might be the issue... "not his type" but you are "an attractive woman" seems to fit with that too.

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  • not if he's unattractive himself.

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  • There's a man Fall for me until I told him my mother is Asian ,, he said why u didn't say that then he left

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    • But they most reject girl if she is premisious

  • Lmao, if a guy tells you on here that part of it has nothing to do with looks it is lying through his teeth

    A guy could be a successful business man and he will date a beautiful girl who is nice even if she is unemployed, has no car and bad credit

    I have seen this happen in real life. I read on the news about a professional football player who married a hooters girl. This hooters girl was not famous at all or a model

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  • He's told you he is not emotionally ready vexause of his divorce. He isn't in the right frame of mind to pursue women so maybe doesn't think of you in that way.

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