I've been somewhat dating this gal for a few months however we've been really good friends for the past two years or so. I think we're close to taking it to the next level (I'm ready, she isn't) but we're long-distance right now but I am relocating back where she is for school this year hopefully.
My past experience with dating a woman who had more guy friends than girls hasn't been a good one. I dated a girl who talked to a handful of her guy friends and only had a female friend or two that she was close with. I expressed my concern with that girl at the time and she said that I had nothing to worry about any of her friends. Eventually, her and a guy she was friends with ended up dating.
This has scarred me. I know of a few guys the girl I'm seeing now talks to. She has even said that one of the guys has tried to date her and gets romantic-y with her but she has said that she puts a stop to it when he does it. She has also said not to worry about any of the guys she talks to. I believe her but I don't trust the guys she talks to. I don't want to seem insecure or jealous but I want to tell her how I feel so I can get some peace of mind and feel 100% if the time comes for us to take it to the next level.
Most Helpful Girl
If you believe her, then you have no reason to think about the guys she's talking to. If you believe her, you'll know that she'll shoot them down if they try. Which is why "I believe her but I don't trust the guys she talks to" doesn't make any sense. Why do you need to trust the guys if you already trust her?0
Most Helpful Guy
I know its not what you want to hear, but I think you need to hear it.
1. You are not feeling this way based on nothing, she dates her 'friends' (I call em back up guys), you're going in on the same recruitment program. You're right on to suspect.
2. This girl isn't yours, you're a million miles away, and you have no right to be jealous.
However, when, and if this girl says she's yours, you can put voice to your insecurities and feel 100%. But in the meantime you, like many of us, must sit on the maybe couch.
I know that sucks, but this has happened to basically every deployed guy there is. And me a couple times. It goes the same way, you get a phone call:
'Well, I was out partying and we ran into Sean, and after the fireball shots and lemon drops one thing lead to another and now i'm pregnant. Don't call me when you get back to town. /click'
If you have the experience you mentioned you know whats up.2