Hi just wanted a guys view. If you start having regular 1-2 times a week sex with a woman do you get emotionally attached to her or is it sometimes just the fun of the sex and perhaps don't have loving feelings towards the woman? The reason I ask is that I'm seeing a guy who I believe is viewing me as a casual hookup, I'm starting to develop feelings for him, as us women do when we have regular sex with someone. I'm getting the vibe he's not forming such an attachment but enjoys my company and the sex. What I'm asking is that if this continues this way for a lot longer will he develop any feelings for me or see me as a bit of fun? He says I'm perfect for him, he's crazy for me, as in fun sense but he can't say he will commit to me fully as I have children and he doesn't want to children. I'm frightened I'm gonna get hurt but I'm enjoying his attention and personality so much I can't move on.
The attraction is there both in looks and personality but thanks for your answers guys. Us ladies do get attached through sex. It's difficult to understand you guys could continue to have sex when there's no real emotional bond. I am reminding myself never to say those three little words again first...
Thanks Teddious, I know it's unlikely that his views will change, that's why it's so hard, he doesn't want children, I'm accepting of that but he doesn't feel he will want a future with me because of me having children. It's upsetting that someone you get on great with and has such a potential for a great relationship would write you off cos you have children. If he develops feelings would that change do you think?
It depends, if he is only dependent on you for sex. Or if he actually wants to have sex with you really. Like say I find you attractive and smart and funny and that is why I enjoy having sex with you because it's a good time and we have sex all the time chances are I like you a lot but won't show it for multiple reasons. Not wanting to break the taboo on the whole friends with benefits thing. But if my choices are limited so I have sex with you because I'm dependent, or if my ego is inflated so I do it because I can then it's not likely that I will fall for you right...
I mean sex is just sex it doesn't mean anything has to be involved but if you feel nothing for your partner after sex you probably are not mature emotionally.
For me it is really all about cuddling and staying the night. It makes it hard not to develop feelings for a girl when we sleep together and cuddle and stuff like that.
Generally speaking guys fall into three groups, those for whom sex is like jacking off - you're just there for the ride, those who enjoy sex and like the women but don't really form and deep attachment, and those who fall in love after intimacy. Sounds like your boyfriend is in the second group. Add to the fact that he doesn't want kids and you have some, and sadly this relationship is not going to work for you.
Being intimate with someone is an emotional thing to experience. I would think that if you are having sex with this guy that often that he would become more attached with you. Maybe not in his case it is hard to get into the mindset of some people. I know that the more I am intimate with a person the deeper the emotional connection for me. I dont think I am like more guys though because I am in touch with my emotional side.
Unfortunately not, sex doesn't mean Im going to develp feelings for someone, there has to be an attraction there before and if its not then no amount of sex is likely to change that.
Im cutting ties with a girl im in this situation with, because she keeps wanting to meet me and it's just not going to go anywhere, and aside from not really enjoying sleeping with someone im not attracted to, I dont want her to get anymore involved.