Guys, is being able to be vulnerable around your girl important to you?

Being able to sleep on her lap. Let your guard down, when you are usually a straight-faced, manly kinda guy.
But you are able to act like a baby with her sometimes. Is that significant to you? Is it really that hard to find women you are able to be vulnerable and comfortable with?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's important for me to be able to be myself around my girlfriend, if that includes me feeling vulnerable, then yes and she needs to understand that, just like I'm there for her if she's feeling that way.

    As for what you say in your post, I'd say they are less vulnerabilities and more just normal parts of being in a relationship i. e. intimacy. And no I wouldn't say it's difficult, apart from the fact that almost all the women I've been out with seem to want to be dominated. Sometimes they need to let us have a night off from being men :D

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    • Well it's funny because most men I know have said that they still haven't met a woman they feel comfortable crying around. Or just curling up on her lap and sleeping. It makes them feel less masculine.
      My fiance always brings up how thankful he is that he is able to do that with me. Makes me go whaaa? is it that hard to find women like us? Lol

    • Wow, really? To me, that's just what you do in a relationship and I think it's similar with my friends too. I wouldn't see the point if I couldn't do that and I had to hide myself! It's supposed to be better than being on your own, not worse :p I love lying down on my girlfriend and watching a film or something.

      If that makes someone feel less masculine, maybe they didn't have much masculinity to lose? I often find it's the guys who kick up the biggest stink about minor slights on their masculinity are in fact the most insecure and least masculine.

      I don't think it's hard to find women like that, no. I think women are generally great in this regard.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Coming from a girls perspective I feel trusted when my boyfriend can be vulnerable with me. But also, I can understand if he might not want to be totally open with me. It's hard to let someone in when all you know is about getting betrayed. I like to wait a little bit for him to let me in. I don't like to push him to tell me anything. Just like I wouldn't want to be pushed if I didn't trust him fully yet. Ya know what I mean?

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What Guys Said 14

  • Well being vulnerable around the woman you like is a good quality and yes I would say that's important. Yes it's hard to find a woman that a guy can feel comfortable, vulnerable with, because if the woman is not right then the vulnerability of the guy can be taken advantage of, hence it's important for a man to find such a woman whom he can trust and whom he won't be afraid to show his vulnerability.

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  • Yes. Very much so.
    If you can't let all aspects of yourself out occasionally with your partner, I don't see the point of the relationship. A good couple should lift eachothers spirits when they are down, bolster their resolve when they waver, help eachother feel secure when they are vulnerable etc.

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  • It's important and yes I think its hard to find a girl who is trustworthy enough to show vulnerability to.

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  • VERY important. If I have to be in "guarded man mode" around my girl, my comfort isn't high enough with her, which is a sign of lackluster emotional connection, which means #BreakupTime

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  • i think it´s important to show emotions and be vulnerable in a relationship moreso than anywhere else. because to most men it´s basically the only place where they can do that. and of course it´s hard to find somebody you are comfortable with in general. especially if you´re going to be vulnerable.

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  • First, look in the mirror, stick your chin out, suck your gut in and slap yourself HARD across the face. Start being a man!

    You never show vulnerability, ever. I often feel vulnerable during sex. When I fall asleep after I wonder if the chick will go to my fridge and eat my food. Women can be sneaky that way. Next thing she is having a shower and wants to stay over. But I don't show it, I deal with it. A DynaBolt the ironing board in front of the fridge with all my washing so I don't have to feel vulnerable.

    Don't you ever again think of being a widdle baby in her arms. If you want to do that get a sex change. You're a man for gods sake.

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  • It is difficult to explain, but basically the irony is that the more I grow to love a woman, the more I feel like I CAN'T be vulnerable. The reason isn't because I don't trust her, but because I feel extra motivated to protect her and "be a man" so to speak.

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  • Oh yeah.

    I'm not much of a bro or anything masculine like that, I'm more of a sensitive dorky creative so letting myself vulnerable in front of or around someone special is such bliss.

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  • Yes it is 💁🏻

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  • Not only is it important, its kinda the "dream" of a relationship, the endgame.

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    • How so?

    • before I met my current girlfriend, I would fantasize about having a girl who would listen to me about myself, and who can cry with me if I was upset about something. I craved that so much, I haven't confided everything with my current girlfriend but I do feel she's the one to do so with.

    • Rather, there is so much effort that you need to put in when trying to be that confident image which you believe is so attractive, the best thing in the world is to stop putting in that effort and be yourself.

  • Very important.
    If I have to walk on eggshells never letting my guard down, what's the point?

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  • I'm afraid I'm straight-faced and manly all the way down.

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  • Super important for girlfriend material.

    When I feel confident enough to snuggle up on her lap and doze off for a moment, that really does mean something to me.

    It isn't so difficult to find a girl that would let me do it or be comfortable with me doing it, but finding someone who I am willing to drop the guard for is. I am not sure if it is worse for men than women but lets keep in mind we're always taught to be anything but vulnerable.
    Us actually defying all social convention and norms around you is pretty damn brave, in a sense.

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  • I've learned most young ladies are evil. Never let your guard down.

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    • How so?

    • I've just had bad luck with young ladies, they try to either steal, or put you down so you won't leave. And to awnser your question yes being vulnerable is important it shows you trust that person.

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