Do you think it's pathetic that so many are so jealous and upset over other people's history?

For example, girls and guys who freak out over the number of sexual partners a potential datr has had.
I think it's stupid to be so hung up on something that really doesn't affect you at all. If your girlfriend or boyfriend had 1 sexual partner, or 20, in the years before you met, what real difference does it make, provided they have no STIs?

  • It is pathetic, it doesn't matter to me
    29% (5)15% (2)23% (7)Vote
  • I don't care one way or the other
    12% (2)8% (1)10% (3)Vote
  • I'm insecure and find it disgusting
    12% (2)8% (1)10% (3)Vote
  • Everyone with multiple partners is gross
    29% (5)62% (8)43% (13)Vote
  • Other/results
    18% (3)7% (1)14% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
People are so horribly judgmental on this website. You people have serious problems.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not pathetic at all. Yeah I'm sure you wouldn't mind having a partner who has had lots of sex because you probably fucked half the football team. But when you've had 1 partner and your SO has had 20, it's not pathetic to be jealous and upset.

    First off, if they get around that much you better believe that you aren't gonna be nearly as good as some of her previous partners. Then there's just the thought of her fucking all those other guys. Then there's the fact that she's more likely to cheat, that sex won't be as special, that you're probably sexually incompatable, that she could have an sti that she isn't aware of. Yeah, I'd say it's pretty reasonable to be upset about it, when promiscuity is a trait that you both don't share. I mean it isn't my place to tell a girl that she's a bad person for wanting to have sex with a lot of people, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it either. If you aren't even in the same ballpark, it's pretty damn reasonable to not be happy about it.

    You do you, I'm not gonna tell you that you're shitty for liking sex. I will say that you're shitty for being judgmental for people having reasonable standards. It's easy to say that people shouldn't judge someone for xyz when you happen to be a person who can be categorized as xyz. But it isn't up to you to decide. You can try to make your point but the fact remains that you can't make unhealthy lifestyle choices that fall outside the norm and complain that people who don't identify with you are judgmental.

    Personally, I'd be fine having sex on the first date if I liked a girl. But that's not the same as saying I'm okay with her having slept with half the town. Sex is great but you have to have some standards. Sleeping with tons of people is unhealthy and dangerous, even if you use protection.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I legit don't care. I didn't even know them. Someone who tells you "I've only slept with 3 people" could have slept with 18. So I'd rather know the truth

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think people can refuse to date someone based on whatever criteria they want to.
    Refusing to date someone based on their number of sexual partners is judging them based on a lifestyle choice, something they had control over. There is something called homosexual orientation and there is a correlation between promiscuity and infidelity. Also just like its people feel more comfortable with people who are from similar economic background and have similar levels of intelligence, people also tend to feel more comfortable with those who have similar views on sex and have had similar experiences. Its just another level of compatibility. You may not care but other people do, and they have ever right to. Just like promiscuous people shouldn't be shamed for sleeping around, other people shouldn't be shamed for not wanting to date them.

    What I think it is really pathetic are the people who make a big deal about other peoples dating preferences.

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    • Sociosexual orientation**

    • And yet almost all the people who have a problem with someone's sexual history shames them over it.
      It's ultimately just judging someone on something that really has no effect on anything, provided they're healthy and free of infection.

    • People who score higher on the unrestricted side of sexuality (promiscuous) are more likely to report having been unfaithful to a past partner.

      "Half of the men and women in the top (withinsex) 20% of sociosexuality had been sexually unfaithful to a steady partner. This is roughly double the average rate of infidelity in the population."
      www.hookingupsmart.com/.../

      Not everyone who has a problem with it shames them. That is your personal opinion but you have nothing to back it up. It isn't a matter of "should" it matter. If two people are in a relationship and neither one cares about the other persons past then it doesn't matter. However if two people are in a relationship and one or both of them cares about the others past then it does matter and their feelings are valid. You say it doesn't have an effect, but it does. It bothers them emotionally and its not something they are choosing to be bothered by. Just like the people who dont care aren't choosing NOT to be bothered, they just aren't.

  • finally, a person who uses the current correct acronym "STI" instead of "STD" lol.

    me personally, I dont give a fuck. if she's awesome then she's awesome.

    case closed.

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  • if they go around just having sex with random people, they might do it cause they're sex addicts or because they cheat. i don't wanna be in a relationship with chicks who are attracted to everything that moves.

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    • A lot of past partners doesn't mean that someone is a cheater or sex addict (which is extremely rare). It may just mean that they've had bad luck with relationships, or that they enjoy sex.

    • Show All
    • I'm not scared, I'm sick of judgmental twats like you harassing me over private message, so I stay anonymous.
      You have nothing to support your stance. Typical.

    • yeah, you know why i don't got direct evidence? cause i don't fuck with women who go around having sex with everything that moves. and yes, i've been in college and have friends like that. i've seen how it's ended. and no, i'm not gonna pm you cause it's stupid. but hey, at least you're trying. it's a little flawed, though. call me judgmental and a harasser when you asked a question specifically asking for this very opinion and are assuming i'd do any of those things in the 1st place. sorry, i'm bullshit proof, hun. try harder next time. and for the record, i don't judge people on sexual partners, i judge people on their stupidity... i'll leave it at that for now.

  • I'll tell you what is pathetic it's men and women who think they can behave however they like and everyone should accept it and not cast judgment. People like that are delusional idiots at best and disgusting and repugnant hypocrites at worst.

    Newsflash - I don't sleep around and so I don't want a woman that has, if I met a woman who has I'll offer her the hand of friendship (no casual sex, just straight up friendship) and I'll find a woman that has the same view as I do.

    I'm a high quality man who deserves a high quality woman! A woman that sleeps around is low quality and is beneath me.

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  • STD's are a real concern and there are some diseases like Hepatitis that can also be spread through sexual contact and impossible to rule out without specific tests. Then comes the question why were they with so many? Similar to a bad job resume there must be a reason for that and I don't go glutton for punishment.

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  • I am with the person I am with at present as I want to be with them, and intend to be with them for ever, I am not with the ones from before as they were not the person I am with now, does that sum it up

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  • women with many partners are gross, not relationship material

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What Girls Said 7

  • yet another biased poll. if that's how u roll, and the past doesn't affect u at all, GOOD FOR YOU.
    No one is telling u to change your ways, so don't go calling anyone else insecure just because they care about the past. there's no logic there at all.

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  • LOL I don't care. As long as their tests all come back clean I have zero cares. I don't understand people who do.

    I also have to laugh at the current results. Boys are so desperate for sex but then hate the women they have sex with? LOL okay then.

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  • I think it's hard not to get upset because usually in a relationship you are in control of what may happen and the fact that you don't have any control over it may bug some people. I personally don't really care, at the end of the day those past experiences have made them the person they are today and it's okay that I can't control it but I hope that non of the negative experiences show in our present relationship-- like reconnecting with past flings etc. Because there isn't any point to that.

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  • I don't think it's pathetic, of course history matters. It helps you understand the person they are today. Some people might not mind the number of sexual partners, some do.
    I'm a virgin so it's only natural for me to want someone on the same level, or around the same level, for our experience to bring him something new.
    Now of course it's not too smart to judge someone SOLELY on that. Their values might have changed with time, they might have matured, and in that case their past does not matter that much.

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    • My point is that what does it really matter? If you like the person, and you want to be together, what difference does it make if they've had 1 partner or 20?

  • I'm not insecure, but I don't want to be with someone who's had so many sexual partners that they can't even remember. I want someone who values their body enough to not just go do any and everyone.

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    • Who says that that's what the situation is? You have no idea why someone has had a lot of sexual partners, so getting hung up on it is stupid.

  • What are the ODDS of a slutty girl NOT having STD's?

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  • Inb4 only girls who have a lot of sex partners are only capable of cheating in relationships
    Inb4 men can have sex with as many women but it's proven that women with multiple sex partners in the past cheat
    Inb4 lock and key analogy

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