Was I led on? Or am I tripping?

He says he's attracted to me, likes me as a person and wants to "build a friendship" before jumping into a relationship, & insists that it's not just a sexual relationship even though he doesn't have feelings for me (he just told me after I finally asked him out of confusion/frustration).

Before he admitted to not having feelings, I told him that I don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings (that recently got deeper, but not love deep) until they're mutual, and he reassured and constantly pressured me to share my feelings anyway, ensuring me that it's safe & that I wouldn't get hurt. My first question is, how is it not just a platonic friendship or sexual, non-romantic friendship if he doesn't put forth significant effort to build said "friendship" and doesn't have/share feelings?

I lashed out at him for saying he didn't have feelings for me after I repeatedly told him my concerns about expressing myself & having a sexual relationship w/ just a friend or someone who doesn't also have feelings & he's confused as to how he led me on. My whole thing was this, I'm not sharing my feelings for someone until we're on the same page, emotionally, and I'm definitely not comfortable maintaining a platonic "friendship" with someone who wants to continue sleeping with me, but has no feelings for me (which I consistently expressed was why I hesitated to open up). He also constantly reassured me to not hold back with him after I told him I held back A LOT (calling, texting, sending pics, etc...) for the reasons I mentioned (afraid of expressing my feelings out of fear of getting hurt by someone who doesn't feel the same).

After expressing my concern (relationship was just sex to him), he quickly assured me he's not into sleeping with people without the intention of exploring the potential for something more, romantically, with them. Aka dating opposed to one night stands/hook-ups.

So... was I being played/led or am I missing something?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Lied I think

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    • I wanted to sound as objective as possible & not play the "victim" role, but my thoughts exactly! Thank you :).

    • I just hope you can get it sorted dude🙃

    • Thank you so much! I appreciate the concern. Nothing left to sort out. I deleted his # and will happily move on :).

What Girls Said 1

  • I mean to me, it sounds like he's using you in a friends with benefits situation... but if he's not, you're still taking a risk. He's admitted that he doesn't have feelings for you but that he's open to exploring the potential. So there's a good possibility that you could keep falling for him but he'll decide that he doesn't want anything more. I'd probably stop sleeping with him if I were you.

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    • Didn't have enough space to add, but I deleted his number & this is part of my moving on process (closure)! Thank you so much for that insight. That gives me clarity :).

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