Guys, innitiating proximity with a friend whom I was previously scared of.. How is that possible?

Here is the thing. I am scared of men, like physically scared of them. But once I get to know someone it kind of gets better.
I met this guy who is really sweet and respects me and keeps his distance so I am comfortable around him and it worked well and i have already told him that i am no longer scared (even though that was only for one day and sometimes i get scared again), he knows that though.
I really like him and we have been hanging out and chatting for 2 months now. We train together at the gym and it is going great. I am kind of sure he could imagen more from the way he is just this amazing sweet and charming guy around me.
Now here is my problem: I am just too fricken scared to get close to him myself... I am a whimp, i know. I mean, I am trying to get as close as i can which is just the normal distance, but close for me.
I would actually want him to make a move... I am asking him for hugs at the end of each meeting (he is not giving me one unless i ask, because he knows me)... Is there a way for me to get him to make a move like kiss me? I mean, regarding that he is being kind and stuff and just respectful, but all i truly want is for him to actually break that barrier and touch me...
Help please ;)


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What Guys Said 1

  • I've been in a similar experience, though not for the same reasons. I was asked to not kiss a girl I was on the second date with and was told the reason. I am typically one to make the first move, and get along mostly with women who appreciate that, but once she set that barrier, it prevented me from initiating anything because I did not feel I would be able to determine that without knowing her comfort level. If you do not give him a sign at this point, he will have to risk rejection by making the first move. People will more than likely just move on at some point if they feel the risk for rejection is too high. It's human nature to protect oneself.

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    • Does that mean you would for example need some kind of "okay" to actually step into action?

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    • Well since I am a different story altogether, what I would do isn't going to help you much. The thing is, you won't know until you try something. Thus site is great for sharing opinions and offering advice, but it can't predict everything, or save you the trouble of trial and error. Some things you do will work out and some won't and you learn about yourself and people along the way. If you do tell him, I am betting you will get a response one way or another. Wouldn't that be better than torturing yourself with the unknown?

    • thats true, i see your point. thank so much though, you've helped a great deal!

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