Girls, Why do you make guys ask you out?

I just read a pretty compelling mytake about this, I am introverted by nature, I naturally dont talk to people out of the blue, naturally dont initiate much socially, and am naturally better off when people talk to me first. If your a girl who is like this you are fine, guys will still come up to you, but as a guy girls kind of screw you over. Its either their way (ask them out) or the highway (stay single). For a while I thought about changing myself to be more extroverted, but I've realized that this is who I am, and girls might say "oh you are scared of asking us out, you need to fix it"... but to be honest, I dont need to fix anything, approaching people (guys or girls) isn't part of who I am, and I dont really want to change that. Girls always say "I want a guy with a great personality" and the advice they always give to get girls is "just be yourself"... well here I am wanting to be myself, and keeping my personality, and girls dont support that, whats the deal here do they really mean those things or are girls just being hypocrites? Why dont they ask guys out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that you should use the excuse of "just being yourself." That is meant for when you are getting to know the person and you are allowing them to see the real you. I don't approach guys, but when they approach me, they can still be who they are. I don't ask guys out because I'm traditional like that. I'm a pretty extroverted person though. I don't have a problem talking to people and if I like someone I'll make it absolutely obvious I'm interested. I want them to be themselves, but I won't know what they're like if they don't approach me. You don't have to change yourself, but don't make excuses either.

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    • So why again can't you approach guys? Oh right because of your gender... okay because you were born a woman, something you could not control, you have the choice to either ask or dont ask people out, makes perfect sense. Meanwhile on the guys side of the spectrum we can only ask, we dont get asked, so there is no choice. We couldnt control being a guy either (and I especially couldnt control being an introverted guy) and yet here we are being told what to do based on something we can't control, makes perfect sense.

    • It is what it is. :/ I have my beliefs as to why I won't approach a guy in a romantic way. I was raised that way by both my mother AND my father. I'm an old-fashioned sort of girl. Just like it's neither of our faults for being our gender, it's not my fault I was raised to have this belief. I'm not trying to offend you and I'm not talking to/about you specifically, but most guys these days are wimps in my opinion. For me, it's not as if I don't give the signs that I like the guy. I'm a flirty person and if I really like the guy, I will show them through my body language and different things. If they can't catch onto the hints that's their problem, not mine. I'll just move onto the next.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Look man, I understand where you are coming from. I'm the same way, I have never in my life just gone up to a girl I think is cute and had a conversation BC its scares me to death. and yeah the whole be yourself thing is a load of crap BC they want you to be yourself in the way so they like you... not necessarily who you are. And being born a male almost requires you to take initiative at everything. Girls love when men take what they want or at least strive to take it. I hate the hypocrisy too, but getting angry at women for something the majority of them won't change, isn't gonna do any good. So you either have to wait for the girl who will take the leap for you, which there are those girls, or you can learn to take initiative like I'm trying to do or stay single. Good luck

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, I get the hypocrisy you're referring to when everyone says to "be yourself", but what they really mean is to be yourself in the best possible light that can be viewed. You honestly can't blame anyone for not approaching you because you haven't taken any initiatives yourself.

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  • I don't.

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What Guys Said 0

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