Is there too much negativity and bad advice in dating?

It seems so EVERYWHERE that we all take the slightest thing to mean rejection... or small things lead to big leaps damaging trust. For instance, if a guy isn't good at leading, everyone will say 'oh HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU - MOVE ON - he must be dating other girls!'

If a girl is insecure and doesn't chase a guy because she's fearing rejection, you guessed it, everyone will say 'she's not into you, stop wasting your time.'

I think that advice, while we all seek it out, at times, just might do more harm than good. At the end of the day, we're all better off judging with our own eyes. I think while some outsiders might have insight, they can't know everything we know first hand.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • no. people just try to ask for generic advice on specific instances. no, not every guy likes fat chicks. not every girl cares if you're 6'5 and look like an nfl linebacker. we don't know if he likes you because he picked his nose in front of you. we don't know if she wants the d because she took a sip of soda while you were walking by. that's the problem.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are absolutely right.
    It is a good thing coming here for example looking for some advice but they cannot know for sure and yes some do judge too harshly. One should always trust their own guts, follow their heart and for god's sake ask the person about what you are so worried about! A bad advice, a harsh judgment can lead us asking for advice into the wrong direction and into wrong thinking, you feel me? I have asked for dating advice here and a stranger told me something along that he's not interested in me, only in sex so I should just move on based on what I said. That guy was crazy about me. Just saying.

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    • and the advice is mostly 'dump him,' or 'dump her,' well Jesus Christ how can any relationship have a chance if everywhere we turn people are telling us to dump everyone? lmao

    • Exactly! It's not supposed to be all black and white.

What Guys Said 6

  • You are right there is a lot of BS dating advice out there. There are also a lot of people who aren't that sociable, and don't have a lot of social skills. They need some kind of advice to learn these skills from. Unfortunately, so much of it out there is BS.

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  • It depends who gives you that advice. With the odd exception... most people on websites like this aren't the best people to be taking advice from or they wouldn't be wasting their fucking time on websites like this. Harsh but fair and true I think. Whatever you do, just trust your gut and learn from your own experiences, don't listen to anyone else unless you know their opinion is valid.

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  • in my opinion too much dating advice comes from a source of bitterness, or from a source of sideline observes (aka the "backseat drivers" of dating).

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  • How is 'don't waste time on people who aren't into you' bad advice?

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    • No that isn't bad advice, when it's accurate. It is often likely it may seem one way to the person giving advice but REALLY it's up to you to judge. And then here's one more thing - how about ask him or her directly? lol just saying guessing isn't communicating.

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    • Confront or demand, no way! Talking to someone though and encouraging them to express themselves is more the way to go.

    • You have to worry about how they'll take it. Someone you are just dating, and whose interest in you are aren't even sure of, is not someone you ask to open up to you like that, about that. You do not have that level of connection with them.

  • well there is a lot of advice out there so some of it is bound to be bad , but a lot is good , keep that in mind it can't all be good advice , try and focus on good advice that is available

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  • I think you're half right.

    The other thing is though if someone is too shy to reciprocate... That may be a red flag on its own.

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What Girls Said 0

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