Do you believe fate plays a role in relationships?

I was visitng a friend in Chicago last week (I am from Boston), and I had the most bizarre experience in the world. I walked into a coffee shop after arriving and was waiting to get picked up, and as I was sitting there reading my phone, I saw a beautiful Asian woman walk into the coffee shop and get in line. She didn't see me, but the minute I saw her I nearly fell out of my chair, because this girl wasn't just any Asian girl. This was the same Asian girl that has dominated my thoughts for the past 3 years. I met her 3 years ago during a gap year in Japan, and I worked with dozens of Japanese people my age, but this girl always stuck out to me as different. The minute I met her I liked her, and I never once worked up the guts to tell her, perhaps because of the distance. This was perhaps my biggest regret, and so when I boarded that plane from Tokyo back to America I was devastated. I came back to America and basically compared every girl I met afterwards to this girl, and they all fell short. I couldnt find a girl as amazing as this Japanese girl. Then I returned to Japan the next year to study abroad. I messaged all my Japanese friends and none were near enough to the city I was studying in to meet up... except one. Yes I got to see her again, oddly enough her family was from the city I studied in so when she had time off from college we got to hang out, I wanted to tell her how I felt but again I just couldnt do it, the distance relationship just scared me too much. I left Japan with no plans to return in the near future, thinking I'd never see her again. And now here I was in a coffee shop in freaking Chicago sitting mere feet away from the greatest girl in the world. How does that even happen? What are the freaking odds of seeing this particular girl, in this particular coffee shop, in this particular city, at the exact time I was visiting from Boston. If that isn't freaking weird then I dont know what is. Does this sound like fate to you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I met my boyfriend on tinder, which doesn't sound romantic or like fate but bare with me. I had been in London visiting family and my cousin thought it would be fun to look through the guys on there I downloaded it and swiped through. Orginally I was on the fence whether to swipe right or not but his smile made me fall for him. So I swiped thinking nothing of it and assuming he lived in london. We matched and I decided to say hello first something I never did. We began talking and once we started talking I realized he had gone to my highschool dated a friend of my friend's older sister, played football so when I played rugby we shared the same practice field, and the weirdest of all we used to hang out as children since he played on my best friend's brother's hockey team growing up and every weekend my best friend and I sat through her brother's games and attended all hockey parties and always hung out with her brother and his teammates when he would have them over for sleepovers. Our parents also attended the same church growing up. As immature and unromantic as meeting on tinder was we both chalk it up to fate making us decide to use tinder as a joke and then give what we had a shot

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think there is no such thing as coincidence, from a scientific standpoint.

    simple example. first girl i ever dated in college was a girl from romania.

    what are the odds that my parents would move from the chicago area to the atlanta area, decide to move 10 miles from that college, i would enroll in that college, in that exact class... with a girl who was born 4000 miles away, her parents immigrated to new york, then just happened to decide to move to the next town over in the atlanta area, she just happened to pick that college, and just happened to pick that exact class at that exact same time?

    and this happens ten thousand times a day, every day of the year. the math is defied so often is basically disproven... hence, there are no coincidences.

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What Girls Said 26

  • If this girl is from the international-school community, the odds are probably a lot higher than you're thinking. That's a small, small world, consisting of very well connected and very well-traveled people. ("Her family was from the city I studied in" was what made me think this.)

    So WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, then? Cliffhanger much, dude? LOL

    I mean... If you want to believe in fate, then believe in fate. If you don't, don't.

    In my experience, the biggest advantage of believing in fate is that it might actually cause trepidatious/nervous people to actually get up and make a move ::ahem::

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    • Well that is what I am trying to figure out, what did happen? I am not sure if fate played a role in this weird meeting or not, was something supposed to happen? Because I obviously went up and talked to her, she was just as surprised as I was. She invited me to her apartment to hang out the next night with some of her friends, we went out for lunch the day after to catch up a little, and the day after that we spent most of the day going around the city with my friend and one of her friends, and then just like that I was back in Boston devastated again that I had to leave her. We didn't have any sense of closure to our relationship, I didn't get to tell her how I felt because I was scared (as usual), and didn't know what that would accomplish, so I feel like I just left her on another cliff hanger. The only noticeable thing that happened as a result of the meeting was that I realized that even after all this time I still love her. Thats it, so I am so confused right now.

    • When I met my husband, we had about 14 hours together, and then it was 14 months of long-distance relationship. When you know... you KNOW.

      Don't let it get away. Go see her. Or bring her to you.

      And ffs don't just tell her how you feel... SHOW her how you feel. <3

  • Your story is freaky lol

    When I was 14 (2007) I went on vacation to Costa Rica. I went out in the ocean, got bowled over by a wave ('cause I'm cool like that) and crashed into a guy. Started talking to him. And that guy, good sir, is my current boyfriend.

    So... there you go. If you run into her again... make a move lol

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  • This is so romantic! Sorry. I had to !
    Ugh the odds... It does sound insane. What are the chances? 😬 Go for it !!

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  • Oh yeah!!! It's like life telling you to go after her because you long for her. Your heart attracts her into your life, your body is telling you something!

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  • That's so interesting, anything's possible! Personally, I think relationships have more to do with timing than fate. But still, that's quite the coincidence.

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  • Well you know what they say, "you always meet twice in life" ;)
    I really hope you took the chance and got up and talked to her btw!

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  • That's amazing. I feel happy for you just reading this. I am a strong believer that everything happens in your life for a very very good reason. When one thing ends its so something better can happen in your life. And if something good ends, it's so you can learn how to appreciate good things in your life while you still have them.

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  • I believe fate plays a role in everything. Everything happens for a reason and was meant to happen

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  • Ummm... I hope you went up to her and asked her out!

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  • yes

    NOW PLS FUCKING ASK HER OUT!

    geez

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  • Yes! Go up to that woman and talk to her!

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  • I believe fate does play a role. I met my current boyfriend by pure chance. My friend who I hadn't hung out with in months invited me to small gathering. I didn't really plan to go because I didn't know anyone who was going, and had already made plans to go to a party with my friend. But the party ended up being lame so we left and I decided to take my friend's offer. I walked in and he said from the moment I smiled and started talking he knew he wanted to be with me.

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  • funny how you're talking about fate, but still didn't catch up with her the second time you met her, if your life is a movie... it's already "the End" on the screen

    just catch her and tell her how do you feel, you wouldn't lose anything

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  • I hope you did something about it

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  • that sounds very rare :0
    make it happen

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  • Omg!! What happened? Please tell me you approached 😀😀😀

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  • This may be your last chance to tell her.

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  • It does sound like fate i wish you well!!!

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  • It completely does. Can u still talk to her?

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  • fate

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  • Yes, sounds like fate :) So interesting story :) Do something!!!

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  • GOD PUT HERE THERE im being so sincere HE DID

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  • Only if you believe in it.
    Long long time ago, a friend met this guy in a bar abroad, while she was there on a class trip and he was there vacationing with his friend. Three years later, they ran into each other again downtown. He had a girlfriend then, but she believed in fate and waited for him to break up with the other chick to be with her. He did... and they became the greatest on-again, off-again couple I've ever known. The end.

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  • Yes, also plays a role in breaking up. I had met the most perfect guy and truly my love, only to have him ripped away months later because his ex got pregnant by him without his consent 😠😠😠

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  • Your yellow fever knows no bounds

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  • And I hope you finally ask her to be your gf!!😍😍or at least a date 💁

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What Guys Said 18

  • Interesting enough, as you just can never know and whom, when and where you may bump into someone you met before or have known again unexpectedly in future of your lifetime.

    But I think this still not a guarantee that this means she's the one for you nor will it necessarily means that you will be married to her eventually and happily ever after.

    Maybe it's best to exchange contact info and stay in contact me around or try to if possible. That way if nothing serious happens anytime soon then you can always get back in touch with each other and plan something fun to do and discuss about in the future, on even case if you ever need help on something and give each other important advice as you never really know if you get what I mean?

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  • We all have paths we walk in life and sometimes people are nudged onto our path for a reason. Fate you could call it, you can either do nothing and have regret, or you can do something about it and at least try with no regrets it might work out it might not. But you'll never know unless you try.

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  • Did you tell her how you feel this time?

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  • Just imagine your granddads never had met your grannies.

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  • Not fate. Chance certainly but fate implies there's some meaning to events or that some higher entity is guiding things along. I don't believe in that at all.

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  • That's an odd situation. Never been in a similar situation as this, so I'm not able to tell. If life give you these opportunities anyway, why not take them?

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  • Not fate, but sounds like a pro female stalker.

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  • whatever god wants he will get now after that not sure how much of a role he has on the rest of your life probably some things not but all he gives us choice on certain things

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  • I don't believe in fate, but I sure hope you said hello and asked her out.

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  • Yes i think that sometimes

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  • i don't believe in fate

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  • You sound like a fruit pop.

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  • Yeah sometimes

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  • no.

    .

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  • When you believe in fate all things are fate,

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  • Indeed, I was fated to have mental issues and never get to have relationships. Now I'm just hoping destiny allows me to be the villain that ruins everyone else's relationships.

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  • Sorry man, but fate isn't real.

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  • I absolutely do. So many girls I've had interests in have gone and gotten pregnant. I'm immature for my age, I just cannot imagine having a kid. Not anything against a child, but not a responsibility I'd like to uphold at this time.

    Others, later on down the line, became drug addicts and ended up throwing their beauty away.

    I guess what I'm saying is, I dodged bullets. So yes, I believe it does.

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