Communication was going well... now he's suddenly silent?

This guy and I have been in an LDR for a month-and-a-half. Of course, we've texted very frequently, and all was going great! The past week, his texts have been rather short and not as energy-filled as before.

Here's the only thing I can think of that may be the cause: I messaged him, saying that he was on my mind, a lot. And then, a day or two later, I messaged how excited I am to have a future with him.

Now, I know what you're probably saying "NO! She didn't just tell him she can't wait for the wedding... and they've only been dating for a MONTH!! That's definitely the reason he hasn't texted - you scared him off!!"

But... here's the catch that's super confusing to me... He has been very expressive of how he wants this relationship to end in marriage. When I agreed to date him, his words were "I'm for real committed to you - I want this relationship to last, and I want you to be the woman I spend my life with." So after hearing him say this so much, I thought he might want to hear it back, so he felt loved.

Here's what I don't understand: If he has stated multiple times that he wants this relationship to end in marriage, then HOW might my saying I'm excited to have a future with him and that he's on my mind, scare him and cause him to pull back?

Now, I'm not sure if he's purposefully choosing not to text, but I'm becoming suspicous and worried he might be finished with the relationship.

How many days should I wait to text him, and what should I say?

Thank you very much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm, to be honest. he could very well have been saying this to chat you up to becoming more involved without him having real intent. I am not sure if this is the case but I am just listing it as the worst case possibility. Now that said, he could very well be preoccupied, getting input from others which is not positive in nature, or he could have lost interest.

    In my opinion, you should wait for him to text back. If you guys had something planned, you COULD send him a quick ping and see if you're still on for it, but other than that don't chase after him. In general don't chase after anyone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Red flag. Him telling you that he wants to marry you literally JUST when you started dating is off. Seems like he's just telling you things he thinks you want to hear. The two of you are moving way too fast and I doubt he actually takes any of this seriously. No normal person puts this much pressure on a relationship in the beginning stages of dating.

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