Boyfriend who keeps saying he is getting to the point where he doesn't care evey time we try and talk it out and I start to try and express myself?

My boyfriend of 2 years and 5 months and i have hit rough patches lately. We both acknowledge we have a communication issue and we are both willing to work on it. But when i try to bring something up that bothers me or try to express how i feel to him he gets to a point where he tells me he doesn't care. And this is about almost every time i try to express my feelings recently. Its to the point now that i view my feelings or emotions as an issue for our relationship and i try to watch what i say so i don't start telling how it makes me feel. But it makes me feel snuffed out like how i feel is not important. I feel like i can not share how a situation makes me feel to him in fear of him telling me again that he is at the point where he doesn't care again. I love him dearly, and i am not one to give up just because we hit a few bumps but he is the type that if it gets to be too much he would rather stop talking about it and sleep. I want him to be my loving and caring boyfriend who actually cares about me again not someone who looks like him and tells me he doesn't care every time we try to talk out a situation. So guys help me please. Am i wrong for trying to express my feelings or should i keep them bottled up so i don't make him mad and not care about me anymore? What can i do to make him start caring again?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Rehashing issues in a relationship can seem like beating a dead horse at times. Especially if you both are adamant in your opinion in such issues.

    Therefor, in this particular case, to him, rehashing issues may seem like an unwillingness to accept his opinion or an unwillingness to compromise. And may have led him to become frustrated, desensitized, and distant towards you, which led him to treat your efforts to communicate dismissively.

    Don't get me wrong, now, I'm not taking sides here. I'm simply pointing out a perspective that some individuals hold in similar circumstances.

    To answer your question: No, no, no. And no, again. You are not wrong for trying to express yourself to him, and, no, you shouldn't keep them bottled up. If, however, the issues you attempt to communicate are rehashed or ongoing, then perhaps you may want to consider accepting his prior responses and solutions and his willingness, or the lack thereof, to resolve them. Or, you may want too consider the possibility that it's time for you to move on.


What Guys Said 4

  • Its lucidly him in the wrong. How can u be wrong for wanting to express yourself? You're actually doing the right thing by attempting to communicate effectively. He seems like trash to me the way you described him. Lol. He claims he doesn't care everytime u try to express yourself. If he's not trash, what is he? Diarrhea?

    As to hiw to get him to care again, I don't know. I have no idea how long the interest span of trash is. Perhaps he is bored of you and whatever you say regarding how you feel is inconsequential to him.

    You are putting yourself in a position to be allowed to be hurt. My sapient advice would be to settle with a guy who is ever sensitive and will never lose interest in his partner.

    • He says i talk to much when i try and express myself to him and says he doesn't have time for that. :/

    • If he truly care for you, he'll make time no matter how busy he is.

    • Very true. thank you.

  • Never keep your feelings bottled up. If he no longer cares then the relationship is doomed. I hate when someone discounts my feelings as being stupid or something trivial. Not much you can do to make him care

    • So should i just give up?

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    • I don't think he'll change if i threat him with a break up. He's stubborn.

    • Then you have a decision

  • do u live together? if not howcome

    • No we do not live together. Its a money thing we are both trying to save up and try and get our lives together, but shit happens and well... Yeah. We just aren't ready for that

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    • Time i guess, i know its stupid to say but i do not want to make any rash decisions yet i guess i want to ride this out for a little bit more and exhaust every possible option that way i can to try and resolve this but if at the end of the day it doesn't work then i'll walk.

    • whatever you want to happen has had ample time to happen plus some.

      u really think he's gonna wake up tomorrow and go "oh shit, lemme treat her better and get my shit together".

      there's no effect w/o a cause. you're stuck w/ a lost cause. best thing you can do is be pro active. doing nothing works in his favor.

  • hun are you sure your ready for the truth cause people hate the truth men and women a like

    • That's why i am here. The truth hurts but so does life. I'm ready man.

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    • Then please explain to me from your perspective the difference so i can understand.

    • when you break up people will come too you and half of them are gonna wanna fuck you and the other half comfort you
      but men where left alone no one gives a fuck about us,,, no one comforts us,,, no one around too love us.. cause where men we don't have emotions lol its so stupid, I promise many men can understand what im saying and been through it, most women don't understand what its like to be (completely alone) there's always someone there too love them, women know what its like to feel alone and not have people understand them, but most don't know what it is too be alone I mean actually alone for longer periods of time

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