Do you believe that it's sexist for a woman to expect the man to pay for the date?

  • Yes, I do believe it's sexist
    39% (29)62% (55)52% (84)Vote
  • Nope, I don't think that's sexist
    50% (37)31% (27)40% (64)Vote
  • Other
    11% (8)7% (6)8% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a first date. It's basically an interview. The man applying for a job, and the woman as the interviewer. Do you pay an interviewer's lunch if you want to get a job? No. You got up there and see how it goes.

    This is a stranger. Men have to shotgun to find a woman that's interested in them. Both are making an investment that maybe this will turn into something more. It sets the stage for the whole relationship. BOTH are making the decision to see where it goes. How hard is it? Pay for your own shit.

    I'd never pay for a strangers food. I'm expected to be self-sufficient; I expect you to be self-sufficient. Too much to ask?

    Honestly. I really don't understand why this is such a hard concept for everyone. It's a STRANGER. The only reason you're paying for her meal is because she has a vagina. Not because she means anything to you. Not because she is a friend. No. It's an investment on her pussy.

    It sets the stage for the whole relationship. The statement of paying is this. "I am a man. I can provide for you, and I will." The statement of a woman not paying for her own shit is, "I am a weak and dependent woman who requires a strong man to take care of me. So show me. Are you capable of providing for me?" The statement of both paying for their own shit--as reason would suggest they do-- is "We are both independent and self-sufficient: perhaps we would both work best together."

    I'm not paying for some random woman's meal, just because she gave me the courtesy of *being in her presence*. "Your queen shall indulge your company insofar as you provide some entertainment and food, serf." No way. I have way too much pride for that. I'm not into that 1950s shit.

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    • this makes no sense. wouldn't they both be an interviewer and interviewee at the same time?

    • No. They wouldn't be. The woman is closer to being the interviewer in the majority of cases. The man has the opportunity to walk away from the job offer; but, the woman has the ultimate power there. The man is the chaser, the applicant; the woman is the judge. A man goes job hunting by shot gunning as many job offers as possible. A woman chooses employees from a list of applicants, which she likes most. That's the general setup.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that whomever invites someone out should do the paying. I like to take turns with my partner on planning dates. It's nice to be treated to dinner every once and a while. I don't see why any one person should be doing it all the time.

    However, if one person is making significantly more money than the other, they should be paying for the majority of the expenses. It just makes sense.

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    • "However, if one person is making significantly more money than the other, they should be paying for the majority of the expenses. It just makes sense."

      ^^ that.

      Why do so few people understand that?
      lol

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    • Why don't you share the expense with your guy. I mean regardless of how much you earn a meal does not cost an arm and a leg. Go dutch all the time... why don't people understand that.

    • @MilkyAmy I do. I pay for one date and then he pays for the next. When you have coupons, like I usually do, you can't split the cheque.

What Guys Said 25

  • It depends. If she believes that women should also stick to female gender roles then it isn't sexist. That is simply a division of labor. If however she thinks gender roles for women should be abolished but thinks men should remain in ours then yes that is very sexist.

    Women need to pick a side. Either act like a traditional woman, or act like a modern woman and pay your own way. This mix and mix thing they are doing is incredibly sexist towards men. You don't get to hide under the excuse that it is the gentleman thing to do, and then not act like a lady yourself.

    The idea about whoever asks should pay is nonsense. A date is a mutual agreement, and not about one person paying for the other persons time. On a date both people should put in the same amount of effort.

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  • The person asking the other person out is the one handling the bill. I will certainly pay all expenses incurred during the date. From dinner, spas, tickets to shopping (hopefully nobody will ask for shopping on 1st date) if I am asking her out.

    If the guy asks the girl out then he better pull out his wallet like a proper man.

    If the gal is asking the guy out then she better be prepared to suffer the damages.

    There are women who would setup their dating profiles to lure guys in for free fine dinning experience. A dining table for 2 can ring anywhere between $100 to $500 on average... not the ultra high class ones. I think I read that somewhere...

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  • I don't care about what anybody says.. I pay for the first date because it's the gentleman thing to do. If people want to call me a sissy for opening the door to anyone, not just the women, and pulling the chair for my date, then so be it.

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  • Lol what the hell is with the "whoever asked the other one out should pay" cra P the women are spewing. Surely they can comprehend the guy sets up the date the overwhelming majority of the time especially especially so at the beginning of a relationship? I guess not

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  • Vote 'B' - I am old school whose favorite movie is 'Kate & Leopold'

    I'd still be the same if I'm born in the next century too :)

    Not that I don't believe in equality but I evince chivalry too :)

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  • That really oughta depend. I'd be paying because I asked her out. But we usually split the bill so its cool.

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  • I was cool with paying for the first date until it took me 12 first dates to finally get a second date (which eventually lead to my current girlfriend). With each date ending with a "You're such a nice guy. I'm glad we're friends" or "I can't wait for the next date" only to be completely ghosted.

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  • I think whoever takes the other person out should pay or they should split the bill. I like equality in relationships and dating.

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  • I don't think it's sexist but do believe the first date should be "dutch"

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  • if i pick her up and take her home, im paying. if we meet at a spot, ill still attempt to pay, but usually theyll intervene.

    dating costs money.

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  • Having different demands for someone solely on the basis of their sex... noooo... that doesn't sound sexist at all...

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  • Nope it's just the gentleman thing to do

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  • I honestly don't mind it.

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  • Just pay for the woman's lunch already it's not rocket science, it's called a nice gesture. Society would go a long way to a much needed recovery if people would actually be civil again

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  • No, if the woman is a feminine woman and has a genuine interest in me, I'm more than happy to pay

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  • no and I don't have a problem paying cuz money is the least of my concerns

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  • I will always pay no matter what we do and where we go

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  • I'm cool with paying on the first date.

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  • Golly, would you look at that? The people who benefit from it "don't think it's sexist."

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  • It's being a gentleman to pay for a ladies dinner

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  • Of course he should pay, but what's sexy about that?

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  • I think it's sexist. Of course I offer to pay each and every time but, if a woman doesn't offer to pay her share, then I immediately lose all respect for her. The only reason I pay is because the cultural norm is that most girls still expect a guy to pay and are quite vocal about how a guy who dosen't pay is cheep, a shitty date, ungentlemanly etc. What guy wants to be mislabeled? So although I don't agree with the norm I will still pay. If the girl hasen't offered to pick up her tab I loose respect for her. I do not expect anyone to pay for me- even if they ask me out. If my buddy said lets go for dinner and I didn't pay my own way he woulden't be my buddy for long. Besides men are still expected by the majority to ask, and even tho some women are grown up enough and do some of the asking, the majority still do not.
    In the end of a woman isn't willing to pay for her share than it shows that she isn't willing to stand up and shoulder her share of responsibility in the modern world. And yet often the same women scream and cry about equality. Well time to stand up and be equal.

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  • You asking this on site filled with bitter women filled with hate towards men lol what you expected

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  • Ha, most women say no, that figures, what hypocrites.

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  • Sexist no. An asshole move yeah. I feel like if you're an adult you should never assume someone else is going to pay for you.

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    • If he offered he should pay.

    • He didn't force you to go. You made the decision to go. You made the decision to order whatever you ordered. You ate the food. You're telling me that if I ask for you to do anything and you agree I should pay for it? If a guy made it clear that he wanted to treat you to a meal that's different. He made a clear statement of his desire to pay for your food but not all dates are set up that way. I don't offer to take people out I ask if they want to join me at least on the first date. Women are people and I don't enjoy paying people to accompany me. It ruins the gesture and turns first dates into some weird plea for affection instead of what it should be, two adults entirely capable of taking care of themselves spending time with one another.

What Girls Said 20

  • I wouldn't say it's sexist, or thinking that men should pay for us because they're the superior sex. It does make a girl look pretty entitled if she expects her boyfriend to always pay for her, though.

    If we want equality, it should apply in all respects. Not just when convenient, or when a female may be being wronged.

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  • it's funny because in REAL life, most men don't mind paying at all, but on GaG it seems to be such a big deal. Like I've offered to pay several times and they insist to pay, not even split.

    so no i don't find it sexist. Men don't like it when women complain about us whining that everything is sexist. same goes.

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  • Well, if the dude says he'll pay since the beginning, that's good.

    If he didn't say anything.. Then it's sexist to believe he needs to pay and don't bring money to the date.

    If she asked out.. It's a fucking must to have money to pay for your stuff.

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  • I have found that many guys prefer to pay. And some are even offended if you insist on paying. But I always at least offer to pay, or even go Dutch.

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  • It's extremely sexist, it's no different than a man expecting head on a first date because he paid for the meal.

    A lack of a penis doesn't mean your company has a price. If you have a job then you pay your half, period.

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    • My brothers girl expects him to pay, because he earns way more... so would that make her sexist?

      So just to understand if she is a housewife without an income... does expecting your husband to pay all the time qualifies her as a sexist?

    • I don't think in that case it's sexist. If you have no source of income there's no plausible way to pay. But if you're an independent working woman there's no reason you can't at least split the bill or at the very least pay for the drinks of the dessert. @MilkyAmy

  • I believe whoever asked for the date should pay for the date. For example, freshman year of college I asked this guy out and when it came time to pay I'm the one who pulled out my wallet first. He refused to let me pay though despite my efforts at the register.
    It was very sweet of him and definitely won him a LOT of brownie points. And on all the dates that I've been on, I've always offered and asked to pay for at least my share.

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  • If she asked him out and wants him to pay, it's rude. If he asked her out, he should pay.

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    • Except the guy is expected to do the asking out 99% of the time. Just say what you mean. Don't tiptoe. You're essentially saying "The guy should always pay."

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    • Haha, okay. Been on few dates in my life, funny how none of the guys found it rude... amazing hey :)

      "f he insisted on paying I would wonder why. Did he hate spending that time with me? Does he think I can't afford to pay? Rude, rude, rude" - Sorry, i am just confused by your statement.

      "Does he think I can't afford to pay?" - it amazes me how many guys i've talked to have never even thought about this in real life. Weird

    • @MilkyAmy OMG YOU GUYS MilkyAmy said it was weird so it's like TOTALLY WEIRD NOW.

  • It's not sexist but I'd not expect it. I feel lucky if anyone wants to spend time with me so I'll always make sure to give them money towards it and half it or if it's a bar, I'll buy them drinks back etc... just seems fair...

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  • It really depends on who asked who out.

    If I ask a guy to a date, I don't really expect him to pay for anything, since I'm the one that initiated it

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  • Whomever does the asking ought to pay. It's implied.

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  • I think they should do whatever they want.
    If they want to split then they can.

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  • I don't think so. It's just called tradition. If you don't like it, then don't date me.

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    • good just as long as you stick to tradition when it comes to womens rights, you cook and clean, you stay out home and don't expect men to change their looks.

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    • @TimeSplitters123 i don't have a problem. But don't set rules for others if you're having a hard time accepting to pay for a girls dinner that you asked out.

    • Why won't you go dutch even if he ask to take you on a date?

  • yea i just paid for dinner last night. he drove us so i paid.

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  • NOPE , his broke behind better bring that cash out. I'll order a nice hot fudged sundae and throw it all over him and his attire. Don't invite me on a date by your choice and don't pay for my food. I don't play.

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    • @TimeSplitters123 we have more girls than guys on this earth now i see. So are you getting your period next month?
      Seem quite hurt over something that wasn't directed to you. But because the shoe fits? Join the dark side along with the other broke guys who asks a girl on a date and doesn't pay for her food.

      Broke cow.

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    • @TimeSplitters123 why are you so angry? Not my fault you didn't pay for your girls dinner date and she left you. A pathetic 28 year old arguing with a 17 year old. Go get a job and take me on a date.. But this time pay for you and don't take me to McDonalds nor do i want anything on the dollar menu.

    • Let me rephrase.. Pay for you and I because only paying for yourself didn't work out.

  • I don't think it's sexist, I just think it's old fashioned or lazy or cheap.

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  • Splitting the bill works too

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  • I think the one to ask the other out pays for the date.

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  • Yeah. I'd consider it a red flag if she doesn't split. Come on girls, don't act like a princess. The first dates are for getting to know each other and should be about conversation.

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    • That being said, since dudes generally ask... Don't pick some awkward ritzy place. Do something low key, like coffee or beers. Actually talk and listen to each other.

  • It depends on the date, who invited who out, how long you've known each other, how long you've been talking

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  • No, I think guys just like to be whiny and cheap.

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    • Isn't the cheap one the one expecting their meal to be payed for though?

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    • I'll never get that logic. If it isn't a big deal, why don't women actually just do it?

    • FlutteringFeelings EXACTLY. These guys are just cheap and stingy with their money. Every date I've been on even when I offer to pay for my food or split the check, the guy refuses to let me and he doesn't make a big deal out of it. If I'm on a date and a guy makes a big deal out of the check then I'm going to think he's cheap, stingy, and probably can't afford to eat out which in that case he shouldn't be asking me out to eat if he's too broke to afford it.

      tyber1 stop assuming that all women do the same exact thing when it comes to this. There are plenty of women who will offer to split or pay half but most GENTLEMEN don't let them because they value the traditional courtesy.

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