How could I trust men when I've been used and played so many times?

Maybe not many times but my small history of dealing with men has been horrid. Genuiely, I don't tend to trust men so I'm very cautious. The last man I've dealt with entered my life during some difficult times. I was very vulnerable and he knew that. I trusted this man and he seemed to trust me. We were very close but long story short, he played me. It seemed fine one day then it started to go downhill. He would ignore my texts but only contact me late at night. Drunk texts... Even if he did respond to my texts, he would ignore important parts. He would make plans and never even show up or call to explain his absence. For example, recently, he told me that he would call me during October and he didn't. Hell, I haven't heard from him since then and it's been months. I even contacted him on Christmas and no response.
I don't want to tell a long story but the point is, he used me and I feel hearbroken. Even if he was just a friend, I would still feel heartbroken because HE KNEW I was vulnerable. In spite of that, why would he treat me like this? I was so kind to him and I was always there for him... If he couldn't stand me, why wouldn't he just tell me to fuck off instead of popping up every few months and making me like him again... Men baffle me.
At this point, I'm convinced men are all like this. Ugh... This is too exhausting. I don't think I'm capable of trusting any man.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Many guys only want that one thing. There is a saying, "A fool and their money are soon parted", it could also be said "A fool and her panties are so separated". The guy you really want to meet is someone quite different than the guys you seem to date.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you're meeting the right guys. The reason a person who has been played or cheated on (etc.) once and then tends to get cheated/played again and again by other partners is the fact that they tend to gravitate towards the same kind of people even though they don't realise it. Sometimes they accept things that are red flags but don't realise it because their previous partner showed those red flags too and it somehow seemed normal so they ignore it or they are too in lust with the person to realise. You need to block those kind of guys, and even though he feeds your attention every now and almost never, its not good enough.
    And also, you're letting yourself become a very low priority to him and since he's seen that you just kind "seem" okay with that or accepted that in his eyes, he will treat you as such. So for the next guy you have to become more demanding and deem priority than just hanging on the sidelines all the time.

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    • I think you're very right. I do tend to be a doormat to men and I think I attract the wrong guys (I call them predators). They seem sweet, kind at first but then they show their true side and I do tend to stick around because all I'm thinking, "It was nice in the beginning! This is just a phase! He will respect me again," but then I waste my time and energy on pricks. I'm not demanding at all because I fear that it'll push people away. I'm going to take your advice. Thank you!

What Guys Said 4

  • He was using you but not everyone is like that, I wouldn't do that and I know I can say that without meaning but I really wouldn't. Hopefully you can trust again sometime because I get why you feel like you do

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    • Maybe I shouldn't expect all men to act that way. It's very ignorant of me. I'm just scared to meet another guy because I fear that it'll happen again. Thank you for your comment! :)

    • No it's not ignorant of you at all, it's not your fault. Hopefully this will change though

  • Trust or don't. If you do you can get hurt again and if you don't well... I hope you like cats. It's a shitty lot I know but reality is reality.

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  • leave that idiot honestly don't mind but more important is what does your heart say and whatever you do think of future without taking any step hope you understood

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  • For some reason, I don't feel bad for you...

    I think you got what you deserve...

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What Girls Said 0

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