Be brutally honest and please don't judge me: should I try to just sleep with a guy?

I had two serious relationships in my life, both of guys really hurt me and that's why it ended. Now, it's been a while and I miss having someone every single day. I don't like any guy in particular and I am not in love or anything, so I just kind of miss the feeling of blushing, of being around a guy and feeling that energy, you know? I have a couple of friends that make me feel like that, you know, they are just cute and there is some chemistry, but they are certainly NOT boyfriend material, they are very young and don't take things seriously yet I think.

What I am saying is... I sometimes wish I was like those girls, that have fun with guys and keep being single and happy. Should I try that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with @OrangeBoy.

    And furthermore, I think you need to learn how to be okay by yourself. Understand that everyone feels lonely, but don't try and change yourself to someone you're not by sleeping around because someone else does it and they feel happy. I can tell you something: they seem happy, doesn't mean they are. One night stands or friends with benefits only last for so long, and they might fill a void then and there but once it's over the loneliness just comes rushing back in and you feel... honestly? Kind of hollow. Because it comes a point where you want someone to give you love and tenderness, to be there everyday for you, that is what you want. Sleeping with a guy doesn't give you that. Because it will be just about sex, which means you two are using each other for pleasure, that's it. You might even cuddle but it doesn't mean anything really.

    Bottom line is: You want a relationship, not a fuck buddy, so don't go do something you don't want. Sometimes in life we need to be patient. And learn how to be alright by ourselves and with ourselves. Maybe it's a time to give more attention and love to yourself. Consider that.

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What Guys Said 9

  • It's difficult to be a young person, we born and have to know ourself, what we like or wish to do, how to learn about relationships and fight loneliness and fears.

    Life is weird, so, the best we should do is to try to be compreensive with others and help them in any way.

    From my perspective we should never try to horry about getting THE right person in younger ages because we are learning about everything (but avoid hurting other's feelings, communication can prevent that).

    I defend that younger people should start dating when they first feel their natural wish, hang out, kissing, TALKING, get to know different people and doing sex. These things are healthy to make the ultimate adult. More responsible, knowledgeable and KNOWING what they really like and want from life.

    Just do that, use communication to show that you are not looking for serious relationships for now. Use the truth to avoid feeling guilty, but work the friendship side, don't be the girl guys phone when they feel lonely, be the one that they lauch and share a lunch, and life problems, and you both do crazy stuff, share interests...
    You will get the friends, and... who knows what more...
    The best love happens when things start to make sense with other person, without forcing it, like combining dates on internet... that's forcing to see if can work, that's bad.

    "Live like the river, but spread life also. Don't just let fish live from you" -- OrangeBoy Jan 17 2016

    Já agora, tb sou de Portugal, força nisso.
    Há mais raparigas tugas por cá, talvez queiras falar com elas.
    @margarida
    @menina
    @hookingswan

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  • Are you okay with people labeling you a slut? If you don't care what others think, and you really want to have sex with different guys, then try it.

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  • It's your full right to try it of course but be prudent: BC and condoms!
    OR:
    www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/100302.php

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    • Always! Of course. I am having many seconds thoughts about this. If I didn't have a "filter", there would be days that I would just go for it.

    • PS
      BC accidents and date rapes happen on Friday evenings before a long weekend to (all pharmacies closed) Thus have Plan B at home.

    • edit *too.

  • No. Don't just talk the fooling around route. These girls might be having fun now but watch how it goes for them later when they decide to settle down. Men in general are very picky about the past. A girl with a low body count and only 2 serious relationships will be one hell of a catch.

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    • I don't think that even matters when you're mature.

    • @Cocoa_pebbles Yeah. I've had older guys tell me on here they want experienced women. And irl, I've seen a few older guys mention that too.

    • @KawaiiPie67 o that sucks. Any older guy I've ever been with, in real lif, e has never asked how many partners I've had. And they can teach you. That's one of the reasons younger women like older men, right?

  • everyone has different personalities with different views. one day you will find the right one. sleeping with someone for a day is fine but you should be honest with the guy to not hurt his feelings because like i said everyone has different personalities which means that a guy might really like you and get hurt badly if you are not honest

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    • That is a very good point. We should never forget the feelings of the other person.

  • Yeah, you should definetely give it a try!
    You might find its your thing, or you might find it's not what you want but there's nothing wrong (despite what some sexist and frankly boring people would say) with having fun with the opposite (or some) sex.

    You're older than me, so I'm sure I don't have to tell you this... BUT BE SAFE!!!

    Have fun, I wish you luck!

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  • Give it a shot, you got nothing to lose... except perhaps your vanity sometimes people aren't cut out to be sleep arouner's. But give it a shot I suppose you could gain a few things but as long as you are hot it shouldn't be a problem.

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    • The only thing I see that might go wrong is if it ends up being extremely awkward.

    • Lol you are the only one who has to make it awkward... honestly one night stands are like that shitty 5$ gucci watch from the grocery mart, you lose them and forget them. But thats me, I found that to be true after a stand.

  • You said you miss having someone every day, and miss the feeling of blushing and all that stuff.

    I don't think your looking for one night stands. If you just end up sleeping with guy, you won't get all those things no matter how it easy it seems.

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  • Believe me i know exactly where you're coming from, but don't do it you'll regret it afterwards

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What Girls Said 7

  • No. You should learn how to be alone without feeling lonely. Don't fill that void with other people. Fill it with yourself. Only THEN will you truly be able to be "single and happy" because otherwise, you'll never stop craving someone else's closeness.

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    • Totally and the right person will walk into your life when you stop looking.

    • Thank you for your words, girls. That is the truth and I know that. It's just so hard, you probably know that. Some days, I am just so sick of being single and just want some kind of intimacy with someone. I never had sex with a guy that wasn't my boyfriend, so I just don't even know how that would be. Never would do that with a stranger, that's for sure.

  • As long as they know the entire situation and agree then go for it.

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  • You can, but how do you think you'll feel afterward? As long as you won't regret it, go ahead and do it. But it seems like you might.

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  • As long you know who you are sleeping with

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  • Go for it. Experimenting a little is fine.

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    • Thank you. That's what I think many times and say it to myself. But never tried it before so... having many seconds thoughts.

    • If U want, U don't have to have intercourse. U could just make him a friends with benefits and experiment with anything U want.

  • live your 20's to the fullest

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  • You know yourself better than we do. Though, I can say sleeping with actual close friends usually gets too complicated and isn't worth it in the long run.

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