What should I do? My girlfriend went on a date with her ex?

I've bee going out with this girl for 4 months. She likes complaining about exboyfriends and how weird they were or if they weren't great. She has almost never talked about them in a positive light. One of them in particular has been trying to get her to go on a date with him for a couple weeks now, and she kept telling him no. (she tells me about a lot of these things) About a week ago she started acting distant, she wasn't texting anywhere near as often. Things got better by the end of the week and the reason she wasn't texting was because of how busy she was with work, which is understandable. I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend, and she said she couldn't because she was going home for the long weekend.

I didn't hear from her all day yesterday, I didn't push it and gave her space. She finally responded to me today. We talked for a bit then she finally told me that she agreed to go on the date with the guy because she found out something about him and felt guilty. She kept telling me how guilty she felt before she told me she agreed to go on the date. I was shocked, I said "you agreed to go out with him?" I asked her why she didn't tell me, and she said it was a last minute thing and that the date was last night. She said it was uneventful and that it was weird. I then said that she told me she couldn't do anything this weekend because she was at home. She responded that that was true, but that she drove into the city and drove back home last night. I haven't responded since.

Now... I do acknowledge that she told me but she didn't tell me until after it happened... First off, I am right to be angry about this right? I don't want this somehow turning around on me that I'm the badguy for getting angry and that "nothing happened and it meant nothing" and I shouldn't be angry. I also don't want to say anything I'll regret, hence why I haven't sent anything back. But what should I do?

Updates:
I still haven't heard anything from her. It's been about 3 hours now. When should I text her again/what should I say? "Why haven't you responded yet?"?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have every reason to be mad. If you guys are dating an exclusive and she went on a date with someone else you have the right to feel that way. I think you need to tell her you need a little space to sort out how you feel because why you appreciate her telling you, your upset that she went out with someone else. Would she like it if you did that? What would she do? Have her out herself in your shoes.

    Do you honestly see yourself forgiving her and being able to trust her again? Can that bridge ever be rebuilt? Cause if you can't then your answer is right then... A relationship can't ever be successful with out it. Do you still want to be with her?

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    • I don't know if I can or not yet, I haven't heard much more about what happened last night past what I posted because I took a long time to respond and she hasn't sent anything back yet. I'm mainly upset that she told me that she couldn't go out with me (her boyfriend) and yet agreed to go out with her ex boyfriend whom she complained about incessantly. I'll wait to hear back from her, but I'm going to be pretty blunt about this. If I don't get some sort of apology or something, then I'd say it's over for sure. Because so far, she hasn't said anything about feeling sorry or apologizing to me in any way.

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    • not well haha, basically all I heard from her was that she doesn't intend on debating this any further, she texted me once or twice more that night, then she never responded to me again. About 2 weeks after that night she sent me a text late at night with just "hahahah" and nothing else. I texted the next day with "what?" and got no response. So basically she broke up with me by just completely ignoring me.

    • Her loss

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is yet another reason why I do not believe people should remain in contact with their ex's. It only causes problems like this. Anyway, it's breakup time! Why? Because yet again some people simply cannot let go of their past relationships and allow them to interfere with current ones. She had absolutely no right to go out with that guy. That is a complete prelude to cheating. What's next? Sex with him because something else was left unfinished? Come on!!! By going out with him she showed no respect or care about your relationship, and at the same time she shows she still has some sort of fucked up interest in that clown. Dump that stupid bitch!!!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you have the right to be angry.

    But please consider the meaning of she telling you the truth when she could have found some excuses and hided the truth to make things much simpler for her. This mean she was very brave and completely count on you. She is honest and moreover this also prove that they didn't do anything serious. If they had had, she hadn't told you. You are important to her.

    So yes you can be angry, and show her that you are angry, you dont like it. You cam stop talking with her for a while so that she understand that you are serious about dont want her to go out with her ex. However, after that please give her a chance and trust her. She worth it for her honesty.

    And you won't want to miss a girl like this!

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  • YES she just need you to give her opinions because its better to have another persons opinion ok

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What Guys Said 3

  • That is unacceptable. Why would she go on a date with her ex-boyfriend? She felt guilty; how about her feeling guilty going on a date behind your back? How would she feel about you going on a date with another girl? The best thing to do is dump that bitch, but that's something you need to realize whether or not she's worth keeping.

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  • You should bring this up next time you meet her and judge based on that. You definitely have the right to be angry.

    You also have the right to know what's this that made her feel guilty.
    If you can't forget this stuff complitely aka it might be brought up in later arguments, maybe even move on.

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    • I know what made her feel guilty, she told me that. I Sort of understand why she did it, but she has been telling me for the past month he's been asking her. And how she's like "no way". I sent her something after all this about how I can't believe she agreed to go out with him and that I haven't seen her in a while (because we've both been busy). But I haven't gotten a response back from her yet.

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    • She hasn't responded to me in two days, so I have now basically moved on. She is basically breaking up with me by just ignoring me, I'm glad I found out this kind of stuff about her now rather than a year from now.

    • You're definitely right, im sorry for you bro...

  • You should make her your ex girlfriend

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