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3-4 months ago I met this girl, & since then we've become really close friends. Your common, "chat all day every day", "hang out together tons" story. I found her attractive & funny as hell but we never gave "us" much thought as I wasn't emotionally ready or thinking about it before we met, but we've become close & I've developed real feelings for her. We are both stubborn, introverted, tough nuts to crack when it comes to being open about our feelings in general (lol), but with each other stuff just rolls nicely & we can be open and free with one another. I essentially told her that I love what we have, I would never want to jeopardise that, but can't deny that I have developed real feelings for her, that there was no pressure on her at that stage but that I thought she needed & deserved to know. She said she'd felt a spark there, but needed time to process it. Saying that if "things progress they progress", but we should "take things slow while she figures things out". We continued as normal, talking every day, hanging out as often, initiated by both of us equally, no awkwardness. Then after speaking with a friend I decided after a couple of weeks I should look to raise the topic, to gauge where she ways. She said she liked me but wasn't ready for a relationship right now with anyone because of things she's dealing with; work, her living arrangements etc. I said I understood. I said that I understood it was tough for her because we are so close, that I felt that she was in a place where she wasn't even considering a relationship with anyone, & then I came along & she had to think twice, & now is apprehensive due to what she's said & due to our friendship, she agreed. She's had few real relationships, but her last one ended horribly, so it'd be natural for her to be cautious anyway. Thoughts? Is she scared of hurting me but letting me down easy? Interested & testing me to see if I'm willing to wait.. to prove how much I care for her?
Most Helpful Guy
It honestly sounds more like rejection, but it could very well be the case that she's still blue about her past relationship and genuinely doesn't want anything with anyone right now. Best you can do, if you love her, is keep letting her get over it. You'll also learn about about her and what she wants, and perhaps you will see a chance to propose --if you propose, I really suggest making it a day she will remember, and extremely impressive. She could be going through mental stuff that you're completely unaware of, too. So, give it time. You won't loose your feelings for her unless you both become distant. If she begins dating someone, you'll see she was actually her rejecting you the whole time. Otherwise, it's all open for you and she'll be waiting for you.2