My boyfriend refuses to add me on Facebook?

I know that this probably makes me sound like a crazy person, but my boyfriend and I are on the verge of a break up over Facebook. We first started dating in March of 2014 and we've had numerous problems with being on and off. There are definitely trust issues from some things he's done in the past (he never physically cheated, but I found him posting online trying to find a hookup). I gave him another chance and things were fine, we had each other on Facebook and stuff. Then we broke up for a month. He started dating someone else about a week after the break up. He insists they didn't date, but I consider her an ex because he said they made out and went to see movies together etc. there are more trust issues that stem from that situation, but thats another story. When we got back together, he wouldn't add me back on Facebook or Instagram and I wrote it off. Its been 6 months since we've gotten back together and about a month ago I asked him to add me because he constantly used Facebook on his phone. He kept making excuses and changing the subject, saying he would later. Finally I got annoyed and asked if he could just unblock me and add me since I asked like two weeks ago. He deactivated his Facebook and said he'd rather just delete it, which bothered me. I dont understand why he is so against adding me when he had me on there before we broke up. We were texting yesterday and I told him I felt like he was hiding something and that's why he didn't want me on his social media, he promised to add me after that. Today, he came over and we were having a good time, I reminded him to add me. He got quiet and didn't talk for awhile. When I asked him what was wrong he said "I was going to add you but it's annoying that you brought it up so now I dont want to." I wasn't rude when I brought it up, and I had only mentioned it one other time the previous day. I feel silly for considering a breakup over Facebook but it feels like something else is going on. Thank you for any advice!

Updates:
Hey guys! Just updating.
I found out why he didn't want to add me.
We did end up breaking up, and he said that he didn't want to add me because he likes being able to follow girls on Instagram and add girls on Facebook, so I guess I didn't know who he had on his friends list like I thought haha.
(I don't mean follow and add girls he's friends with in real life, I was fine with that. He meant girls that post half nude photos and pages that post those pictures.)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dump him and move on. If some girl or guy isn't shouting to the world you are his and he is yours then you don't need them in your life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This was exactly like my ex, we'd get into arguments about instagram because he refused to unblock me, solely because when we did have each other I got annoyed that he would follow girls who were interested in him back, giving them the wrong idea. Anyway still till this day he never added me back and I guess that goes along with our mistrust and why we broke up because I started to resent him and there would be other proofs of mistrust. It just seems like he's using it against you like "I was going to add you" that's so rude, how he used you being annoying a reason to not. I think it goes beyond the Facebook and that you don't trust him because he ran into some other persons arms so quickly and made you feel inadequate.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Answer honestly: if your boyfriend accepted your friend request, would you immediately start stalking him and trying to find out all of his business, every aspect of his online life?

    I am going to go out on a limb and assume "Yes" because the fact alone that you are willing to breakup with him over this seems to suggest so.

    Perhaps YOU are the guilty party here because you are not trusting him, because you want to spy on him and know every little detail about his life. Maybe he simply does not want to have to go through that, and constantly feel the pressure that you are looking over his shoulder and anything he says or does from "liking" a bikini picture to "commenting" on a friend's status can potentially be used against him if you don't like it.

    Essentially it is for the same reason girls don't like for guys to see their text messages.

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    • No, I wouldn't start stalking him. I already know who his friends are on there (he talks about it a lot and only has like 30 friends), so unless he's lying about who he has on there that isn't an issue. And he doesn't post much aside from sharing funny videos etc. it's just the fact he's so against it that makes me think he's hiding something. He has no reason other than "I don't feel like doing it". And I've caught him trying to cheat, and after we got back together he would not stop texting the girl he had dated for a few weeks, still had her on Facebook and Instagram and talked to her on there. After telling me he had cut all ties with her. Basically there are a lot of trust issues, and if he was fine with having me on his social media before we ever broke up, then fine with having his next girlfriend on there, I don't see what the problem is adding me again?
      I also let him see my phone and text messages, sometimes he replies for me. He's the one who doesn't want me seeing his.

    • I didn't know about the cheating part. In that case, he most likely is hiding something bad from you.

  • Hiding was obvious
    You'll never know for sure WHO else he was hiding but it was one that he KNEW would blow your fuse

    that said, much to do about nothing
    possession is 9/10 of the law and in love
    the rest of the world tour in only in his mind and can serve to light his fuse
    which then gives you power over his dynamite

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  • You're nagging him

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    • I may be wrong, but we've been back together for six months and I've brought it up three times, I don't see how that is nagging.

  • You're being ridiculous, and frankly I think you guys should go your own ways.

    Breaking up over because he doesn't want to add you on FB is stupid.

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    • Even though they've been together for almost 2 years and she caught him trying to hook up with other girls since they've become official?

  • That's weird what is he hiding

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  • He is just waiting for something better. Dump him and make him find better.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You definitely aren't crazy, it sounds like he's not serious about your relationship. You really should just break up and stay broken up.

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  • Break it off. He's obviously hiding something. And even if he's not, the fact that he's tried to cheat before shows that you are perfectly justified in being suspicious. If he has problem with you wanting to know the truth, it shows he has no remorse from before. If he's not cheating now, he'll probably try again later.

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  • deal breaker, i don;t trust a guy with no transparency in social media. secrets kill a relationship

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  • Its cool chill mom!

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  • If he had nothing to hide, there would be no reason that he would not just add you.

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  • Hmm that's so odd, he must have something to hide... As why wouldn't he have you on there! Tbh Facebook ruins relationships, that's how mine ended as my boyfriend at the time kept liking other women's pictures of who he knew. So yeah, people like that ain't worth it hun, you deserve someone much better.

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