Would you date someone who has a kid?

  • Yes
    29% (9)38% (12)33% (21)Vote
  • No
    71% (22)62% (20)67% (42)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know, I think it would be case to case. It's nothing against the girl's situation, it's just that I never plan on having kids of my own, so what is my role going to be? The age of the kid would matter too. Are we talking an infant or a 16 year old who can probably largely fend for themselves?

    I mean, if I were to find myself single now, at my age, I'd have to go in knowing that many women in my age range are going to have kids, that's just the facts. I think I could be in a situation where there was still a father in the picture and I wasn't expected to come in and eventually play a father role. Or maybe I could, who knows? I don't hate kids at all, I just don't like having a lot of responsibilities and obligations, and being a parent is just about the biggest responsibility and obligation to take on. Plus I'm not good at taking a backseat to others, not so much like i'd throw a fit about it, but in my mind there would a buildup of silent resentment, even though I totally get why her kids would always come first before me. And I get very irritated when I'm held back from doing what I want because of another's needs or wants, again, whether it's for good reason or not. I can totally understand the rationale behind situations and still hate the way the situation affects me. I was an only child, so I'm used to my way or the highway. That's a huge part of the reason I don't want and know I shouldn't have kids, I'm ultimately selfish and totally comfortable with being that way, but I see that it doesn't make for a good parent, so I'd never be so blindly selfish to the point where I'd have a kid that I wouldn't totally sell out for, or more accurately, would sell out for but would harbor inner resentment.

    So those are all things I'd have to consider and take a hard look in the mirror about what my expectations and commitment levels would be. If I really really liked a girl, I could possibly see myself going through with it, but again, I think it would have to be a favorable situation where the father was still a strong presence and I'd just be expected to be the cool boyfriend that the kid's don't hate, but I wouldn't be responsible for their upbringing beyond normal adult-to-child "hey, don't do that, it's dangerous" stuff. It would all be situational I guess, and the issues are more about me than her and her kid (s).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, not at this moment of my life at least.

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What Guys Said 13

  • No. I would like to meet somebody, fall in love, travel together, start planning our future, move in together, get a dog, celebrate our success, marry, start trying for a baby and so on. I dont want to skip all those good moments and disappear in someone else's life.

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    • Good answer 😁 I like your reasoning

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    • @EmiliaRose2355 its a pretty good thing to strive for :)

    • I can't stand when people just say "I don't wanna raise another mans kid." Lol. Pet peeve I guess. But wanting a traditional, nuclear family is a perfectly legitimate reason

  • That too much for my 20 years old virgin heart.

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  • No guy in the world says "I prefer to date a woman that has kids that are not my own."

    To be blunt, her having a kid (s) is never a "plus". It is either a neutrality or a minus (similar to a woman having tattoos and piercings for me).

    But this in no means disqualifies her. It just means that I have another consideration layer. Her attention will always be more divided and she will have less free time, than a woman that is childless.

    I genuinely like kids, so I can date a woman with kids.

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  • Maybe, it depends. What if she was raped? Has a kid she never intended and a child who has a father that will never be around ever. I just might jump at the chance to date her.

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  • Noooooo way.

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  • If she's a great mother and awesome then sure

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  • Been there, done that, never again

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  • i have and would again

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  • I've been in a relationship where my ex had a child, it was kind of tough

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  • Well I want to have kids, so if she was willing to have more then yes I would date her.

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  • no, kids suck.

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  • I would for sure.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I love kids and I wouldn't mind being an instant mommy but that's an awful lot of baggage so I'd really have to be nuts about the guy. I'd also prefer the mother to be 100% out of the picture so my life isn't like an episode of Teen Mom. I think it'd be a really special thing to have your firstborn child with your spouse and it would be less special if he already experienced that moment with someone else, I'm not entirely opposed but it would be a slippery slope.

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    • Bingo and it's the same for men.

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    • There is no way to know the truth surrounding that.

      You mean were they married when they had the child or not?

    • @ArtDent yeah, I mean did they adopt, gain custody of a relatives kids, teen pregnancy, divorced, widowed, unwed parents... I know accidents happen but bringing a child into the world shouldn't be a nonchalant sort of thing

  • No offence to people with kids, but no. I'm only 22 at the minute and just getting my career together. Ain't got time to play mommy. Apart from that, I'm not even ready to have my own kids. Nevermind anyone else's.

    Different story if the guy is a widow or something. That's acceptable. But if he was just reckless at the age of 18 or whatever, no thank you. Not always, but most times, having kids at young ages and all the rest can say a lot about a person. I just think it's a fine way to ruin your life between the ages of 14-22 at least.

    That time should he spent getting your own life on track, not spawning.

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  • No. Too young to deal with a kid,( AND who's not mine) I want a man my age and in my kind of situation.

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  • That's too much for my 21 year old virgin heart... gehehe but seriously, I am still a child myself. Though I like kids but maybe in 3/4 years I won't have that much of a problem with it.

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  • If they were a responsible parent yes. If they were irresponsible no

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  • Not at this age no. But if I ended up lonely in my 30's I would consider it.

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  • Depends on the situation. Bad case scenario is that the ex girlfriend hates your guts for no reason and causes stress and drama for your relationship. In that case no. Also, if the guy has a kid but is a deadbeat and has nothing to do with the child then no as well. I respect parents who stick with their children rather than dumping them off and leaving them. However if it is a relationship where the ex is civil, and everything is good, then yes I would date the guy. I love kids and I would love their child as if he or she were my own.

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  • Hell no, I don't want to be anyone's stepmother.

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