Are cold sore/fever blisters a deal breaker?

I recently just found out the guy I like gets cold sores, which is a depressing fact for a germaphobe like myself :/. I'm aware that fever blisters are very common, but they are something I have tried to avoid, and if I ever got into a relationship with someone who gets them they'd be pretty difficult to dodge. I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts about this: are they deal breakers for you? Why or why not? Enlighten and educate me, too, if you want. I feel like I'm being pretty shallow.

  • Yes
    25% (2)25% (4)25% (6)Vote
  • No
    38% (3)69% (11)58% (14)Vote
  • Other
    37% (3)6% (1)17% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if you refuse to date guys with that STI you just excluded 90% of the population from your dating pool (the other 10% are probably in that group because no one wants to kiss them either for completely different reasons). He just happens to be one of those unlucky ones that does actually shows symptoms. The majority of people with HSV-1 are asymptomatic. No it's not a deal breaker for me because I probably already have the virus and just don't know it. I've never had any symptoms but that doesn't mean I don't have it and it doesn't mean I'm not contagious (you don't need to be having a cold sore to spread it).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think ideally, if they get them often then I wouldn't want to catch anything, because I rarely get them and it's usually a result of me over peeling my lip, then bacteria gets into it, they don't just form on their own. So I don't think I would date them solely because I think it's such an awkward conversation to have with someone who you aren't 100% comfortable with yet-- like "would you consider getting medication" "are they contagious?" etc.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I've been with my partner for close to 14years. I get cold sores when I'm sick or stressed. They are irritating. While those sores are out, that's when they can be passed. But I have a no touch rule during this time and don't kiss anybody. Also wash my hands thoroughly (I'm also a germaphobe). As long as you keep to this rule, you will be fine. She doesn't have this after 14 years.

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    • This was really awesome to read. :) Thanks for sharing.

    • She could have the virus just be asymptomatic - Most adults have HSV-1.

  • They aren't a dealbreaker and they aren't "difficult to dodge." You just avoid any contact with active sores. It's not like they're there all the time. No big deal.

    There are parts of the world where oral herpes is incredibly common--like 80% of the population--and there are some great, beautiful people from those places. Don't count them out. :)

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    • That's definitely true. :) No way would I let a dream boat sail away because he got cold sores. Thank you for your answer. <3.

  • It's a deal breaker for me ONLY because I don't get them. If I did already have them, I'd have no problem dating someone with them.

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  • Contrary to popular belief, Herpes can shed even when there are no symptoms.

    If you make that kind of contact (on the regular) with someone who has herpes, you are going to get it.

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    • Perhaps. Though my best friend of ten years gets fever blisters. I've been with her nearly every day since middle school (now in college), and have yet to contract the virus. Unless I gotten it and am one of the few who never show symptoms of the virus, I do not believe your last statement is necessarily true. It depends on the person, I suppose.

    • Well you have to make that contact. Do you kiss your best friend a lot?

      And yes, some people have it and are asymptomatic all their life. Ask your doctor next time you're in to test you for it -- it's a simple blood test.

    • Lol, no, I do not. I misunderstood the meaning of your comment a little, but I get it now.

      Next time I get blood work done I will be sure to ask. Thanks, man. :)

  • Cold sores or fever blisters are herpes. This is a medical fact. I know they are common, but that does not mean I want it. For me itbis a deal breaker.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's not a dealbreaker, but since I'm one of the few who doesn't get them, I'd prefer not to. So many people get them so they can't spread it to each other.

    Also, many people are unaware that if someone with oral herpes gives you oral sex during their contagious phase, you can get genital herpes from them IF you don't already have oral herpes (which I don't). If both people already have oral herpes, the chance of contracting genital herpes from their oral herpes is near impossible. However, if you don't already have it, like me, I'm at risk.

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    • I didn't know those last few details. Goodness, what a scary world we live in.

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    • I say that mostly because a question on gag asked people if they'd tell their sexual parents about having active cold sores. Most said no at the time I was reading, so when I saw your statement about also contracting genitals herpes through oral sex, well, that was truly the scary part. Like, YEAH I WANT TO KNOW NOW. But I agree, obesity is an increasing issue far more concerning than a bump on the lip. :P

    • I totally get what you're saying. I actually have a friend who contracted genital herpes this way, and her doctor informed her that this is becoming a VERY common way to catch it due to the prevalence of oral sex in our generation. Your partner won't think to tell you about their cold sores (b/c we don't call it herpes usually). But herpes it is indeed. And you can definitely catch it down there if you're not immune already.

  • Personally, I get fever blisters from time to time from cold weather/chapped lips, having my cycle, burning/cutting my lip and all of the sudden one comes up. It sucks really bad and is painful. I developed them after an ex of mine kissed me with a tiny one on his lip a few times. I didn't think anything of it until - boom I started getting them. A very ugly reminder of him for me. But I don't think it should be a deal breaker for anyone, nowadays it's extremely common.

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