I recently just found out the guy I like gets cold sores, which is a depressing fact for a germaphobe like myself :/. I'm aware that fever blisters are very common, but they are something I have tried to avoid, and if I ever got into a relationship with someone who gets them they'd be pretty difficult to dodge. I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts about this: are they deal breakers for you? Why or why not? Enlighten and educate me, too, if you want. I feel like I'm being pretty shallow.
Well if you refuse to date guys with that STI you just excluded 90% of the population from your dating pool (the other 10% are probably in that group because no one wants to kiss them either for completely different reasons). He just happens to be one of those unlucky ones that does actually shows symptoms. The majority of people with HSV-1 are asymptomatic. No it's not a deal breaker for me because I probably already have the virus and just don't know it. I've never had any symptoms but that doesn't mean I don't have it and it doesn't mean I'm not contagious (you don't need to be having a cold sore to spread it).
I think ideally, if they get them often then I wouldn't want to catch anything, because I rarely get them and it's usually a result of me over peeling my lip, then bacteria gets into it, they don't just form on their own. So I don't think I would date them solely because I think it's such an awkward conversation to have with someone who you aren't 100% comfortable with yet-- like "would you consider getting medication" "are they contagious?" etc.
I've been with my partner for close to 14years. I get cold sores when I'm sick or stressed. They are irritating. While those sores are out, that's when they can be passed. But I have a no touch rule during this time and don't kiss anybody. Also wash my hands thoroughly (I'm also a germaphobe). As long as you keep to this rule, you will be fine. She doesn't have this after 14 years.
It's not a dealbreaker, but since I'm one of the few who doesn't get them, I'd prefer not to. So many people get them so they can't spread it to each other.
Also, many people are unaware that if someone with oral herpes gives you oral sex during their contagious phase, you can get genital herpes from them IF you don't already have oral herpes (which I don't). If both people already have oral herpes, the chance of contracting genital herpes from their oral herpes is near impossible. However, if you don't already have it, like me, I'm at risk.
Personally, I get fever blisters from time to time from cold weather/chapped lips, having my cycle, burning/cutting my lip and all of the sudden one comes up. It sucks really bad and is painful. I developed them after an ex of mine kissed me with a tiny one on his lip a few times. I didn't think anything of it until - boom I started getting them. A very ugly reminder of him for me. But I don't think it should be a deal breaker for anyone, nowadays it's extremely common.
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