I've met so many guys, but almost every single one has only wanted sex. I do not understand what makes me the kind of girl someone would fuck, but not date. Guys always say they will fuck an attractive girl, but only date an attractive girl with a good personality. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I believe I am dateable. People tell me I'm goodlooking. I'm well rounded, as in I get good grades in college, I play a few instruments, and have a good amount of hobbies. On dates with men, we have good conversation and a great time. We go for coffee, little road trips, to museums. We talk about philosophy and good music and literature, politics and current events. I am neither dull nor boring. I am cultured and have a good head on my shoulders. I'm confident about myself for the most part. Yet what makes guys decide to only use me for sex? What is the difference between me and the girl a guy would date? Is it because I seek older men? Or that I sometimes have sex on the first or second date? All that means is that I like to have fun in bed, it doesn't mean my other traits are any less valuable. Please help me out, I'm very curious as I just now told the third or fourth guy in a row that I wasn't just looking for casual sex.
Most Helpful Girl
I'm forward, loud, obnoxious, and awkwardly honest, and I have the libido of a greyhound bitch in heat. "Waiting", for me, has never been anything more than a punch line.
My husband and I "waited" 2 hours or so, about 1h 59min of which was logistics. We're now in an impossibly satisfying marriage, and our 15th anniversary is coming up this spring.
The difference between me and you, though, is that I wouldn't have felt "used" for sex. I wanted the sex every bit as much as the guy did. If it didn't go past that... it didn't. In my eyes, it was an "audition" to determine whether there should even BE a first date, lol.
If you feel "used", then that means yr doing something that doesn't feel right to you. You don't really want to do it, but yr doing it anyway. And that, darling, is what's wrong with this picture.
You shouldn't force people to wait, because that's just deception. Most importantly, you shouldn't force YOURSELF to wait -- because no one's gaining anything at all, from that.
But, you need to think honestly about whether you REALLY want to have sex, when you have sex.
If it's something you really want, then, even if the relationship doesn't go anywhere (or isn't even a relationship), you'll be fine.
If it isn't something you really want yet, then, wait.
But, if yr waiting, make sure the only person yr doing it for is yourself. Never wait FOR someone else, and never MAKE anyone else wait just for the sake of "proving" something. That never ends well for either person involved.1