How can I tell my boyfriend to stop without coming across as rude?

It seems like everytime I have plans to go out with some girl friends, my boyfriend always tells his mom I will go with her for the day and run errands with her. He has done it multiple times and it is only when I already have prior plans. If I tell him I can't cancel my plans he gets rather upset and says there is no reason why I can't hang out with his mother, especially where I am apart of the family now. I have no problem hanging out with his mother but I'm tired of canceling plans last minute because he keeps doing this to me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just have an honest discussion, you're being very reasonable. Try getting him to see it from your point of view, ask him questions that first you both can agree on, and then move on from there. For instance, "Would you agree it really sucks to cancel plans on someone?" Unless he's a complete jerk or weasel, he has to agree. Keep going with that line of questions and he'll see it from your side.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why are you worried about coming across as rude when you should be more worried about being a doormat. Sorry but it has to be said that he's deciding what you do with your time. He's afraid that if you go out with your girls, you might meet someone else, your girls might tear him apart once you all start discussing your guys, you might change or start changing things in the relationship because of their advice, you might start wanting to go out more and more, etc, I could go on.

    Tell him straight up that spending time with his mum is great and you really enjoy it but you also enjoy time with your friends too. When you are next free, you will make plans with his mum, thanks, and that you don't need him to do it for you. Tell him you appreciate him being so caring but you can organise your life.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just because he makes plans for you doesn't mean you have to do it

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  • He sounds a bit controlling.. I think maybe he doesn't want you going out and doing things on your own.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, he uses his mom as an excuse for his insecurities. When you're in a mature respectable relationship, your partner understands. Have an adult conversation and let him know your true feelings and that you're going to make a day dedicated to his mom. If he pulls any complaints... Dump his ass !!!

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