Conflicted between two guys... one is my boyfriend, the other my ex, what should I do?

So This summer I got into a relationship with this guy who completely blew me away and when I saw him I knew I was in love... like crazy in love and I just felt like i could completely be myself around him :( He broke up with me because he was depressed and later after I was already i a new realtionship messaged me.. and I instantly became crazy. I fought the urge to message him back considering I have a new boyfriend but I couldn't help myself. I have dreams of my ex and think of him every night before I go to bed. Well lastnight my curret boyfriend conffessed to being in love with me... but i couldn't say it back. He is a nice guy and has a great family :(.. I feel like he would do anything for me but we just dont have the conversations or connection like me and my ex. Should I permantly let my ex go? or leave my current boyfriend.. when something greater could come for us in the future.. i'm a mess.. and honestly it would hurt to leave my current boyfriend.. but at the same time I fantasize about hoe amazing it was with my ex... ? Help me out please!!!

Updates:
i guess I can't type sorry lol ! So many typos...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Go with the person your heart believes you should go for but be quick, don't keep either hanging or with false impressions. Also, you could have helped or been around the first guy, or at least keep in touch. But act quick.

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    • I was recently in touch with my ex and everything just flowed back.. It sucks I know ill end up hurting one or the other :/.. but your right I need to dig deeper into what I really want..

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    • wow this is exactly how i feel, you very spot on.. :/. I guess it's just hard to really realize it ll. This won't be easy..

    • @Asker remember to follow your heart. Thanks for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly? I think you should get back to your ex.

    You say you were crazy in love with your ex and still think about him even though you have a new boyfriend, yet even though your new boyfriend says he is in love with you, you do not feel the same way.

    I think it is unfair on your current boyfriend to stay with him if you feel you like your ex more, and I don't think you are going to be very happy staying with your current boyfriend if you feel like this.

    It is unfair on your current boyfriend because he loves you but you love your ex. Imagine how he must feel? Second best to his own girlfriend? That's pretty horrible. Not to mention you are kind of wasting his time, he's with a girl who doesn't love him and is still in love with her ex when he could be with a girl who is crazy in love with him himself. Yes, if you broke up with him he will probably be upset for a while, but he will get over it and find someone else who does love him. Plus, the longer you leave it the more he is going to get attached, the more you are going to get upset, and the more upset he'll be when he finds out or you do eventually break up.

    Not to mention you will not be happy yourself - Sticking to a guy you don't love, wishing you were with your ex and feeling guilty about it.

    My advice would be to gently break up with this guy, maybe say you think you'd be better as friends and get back with your ex.

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    • That is what I decided to do :) I realized I needed to listen to what my heart and soul was telling me to do. My ex and I are still in love and it is clear I would've been leading on the other guy.

What Guys Said 9

  • You are in a no win situation. If you don't go back to the ex, you will always wonder what could have been, and you will be cheating your current boyfriend from what he deserves: a girl who loves him. If you do go back to your ex, it probably won't work (reconciliations routinely fail) and you will wonder what might have been with your current boyfriend.

    If you cannot love your current boyfriend, you should break up. He deserves better, and, ultimately, you have no future together. You will probably try to resume things with your ex and only time will tell if that can work.

    This illustrates why you should not get into rebound relationships. What you have done is going to cause heartache to your current boyfriend and you are old enough to know that you should not have gotten into this situation. However, we all make mistakes! Learn a lesson from this mess and make yourself become a better person.

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    • I agree, her dilemma is one of the major reasons why I rather not be in any committed relationship way back when; it's her lack of decisiveness. These types of women never gets any sympathy from me.

      "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." -J. Depp

  • Just find out which of these guys, you have a greater connection to, and stay with that one.

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    • you dog. Lol i can't do that..

    • If the connection with lover boy of the moment isn't there, you should go back to lover boy classic.
      The only thing that worries me is if lover boy classic broke up with you cause he was "depressed" it tells me his heart might not be 100% in it and he just missed the sex.
      Could still be a good trade off though. He gets the sex and you get the happiness

    • lol this made me laugh... but yeah ill figure it out hahahaha.

  • what's the longest you've been single for?

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    • a month.. :/

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    • my ex broke up with me because of depression.. i was with him for two months, my current boyfriend the same amount of time.

    • because you had depression or him? be clear =\

  • Watch fewer romance movies, that's what you should do...

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    • HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

      thanks for the laff

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    • Using these guys as place holders in the little, self-absorbed play in your head is doing them both a disservice... You know how they say that porn creates contrived notions of what sex should be? Well romance movies create contrived standards for romance...

    • believe me i know... but i guess being told again helps. I'm a psychology major... I know that fate doesn't exist like the movies.. but people really can impactt your life.

  • The Faith, you don't have it you need to confess to your current boyfriend.

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  • Let your ex go.

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  • go with who has the bigger dick isn't that what they all do

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    • I actually went with the one with the smaller one truth be told lol. .. so no.

What Girls Said 5

  • To be honest, you are confused and you need to take time FOR YOURSELF. You should be in a relationship with neither.

    You are currently in a dilemma and have two guys who love you trying to get you, but you need to break away from BOTH, so that you can have a clear head and mind about what it is you want AND WHO is the best one for you.
    What you may have for your ex may not even be LOVE BUT INFATUATION, especially since he broke up with YOU, you feel like perhaps things could be better this time. But maybe they won't. You have a really good person at your side who now you will break his heart.

    Do NOT choose one guy over the other.. Chose yourself. Tell both your ex and boyfriend that you are currently confused with your feelings and you need to take time to clear how you feel and need alone time... Whether this is one month or two or whatever... And then see exactly what it is you want and realize WHY it is you want this, then make a choice. It is not fair of either one to have them waiting or stringing them along. Be honest, WITH YOURSELF, WITH THEM... but most importantly, be fair.

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  • Sounds a bit like graduation googles to me, you imagine what you used to have is better than what you have right now and it makes you appreciate what you have far less than you should. Continue with this new guy he sounds like he is worth your time. It doesn't sound like you and EX guy broke up all that long ago it is normal to think about them for awhile even if your in a new relationship so just let that fade gradually and try to focus on your new relationship with what sounds like a really great new guy :)

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  • Have an open relationship if you can... if you can't let go of your ex

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  • Let me put it easily for you: your true love should be someone you love and have feelings for. You don't have romantic feelings for your current boyfriend, but you've fallen head over heels in love for your ex. Ding ding ding! Pick your ex

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  • Leave your boyfriend. It's not fair to him that you're still hung up over your ex and can't give him 100%.

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