Is eating preferences a deal breaker?

Maybe it's just me, but I'm bothered (quite bothered) that my boyfriend doesn't share the same tastes in food as I do.

He's picky about everything. He hates milk, anything sour (which I love), poached eggs, Asian cuisine... the list goes on. Let it be known that most things he hates I love.

I know it seems like a petty question but is this any indicator of incompatibility? I know this shouldn't bother me but something is bugging me about this.

Did you have this feeling before and was it a deal breaker or did it cause issues in the relationship?

Or are my worries rooted in some bigger issue? Any help would be appreciated.

Updates:
I figured out what was bugging me. It is not because he doesn't eat these things I love but that he expresses 'disgust' for them in a very childish manner (like yuck, hate it) and refuses to try it if I encourage him to try it. THAT bothers me.

Is this a more valid reason why I'm bothered?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well i fucking love food, so if the girl I like doesn't meet more than.. maybe 50% of food taste, then I don't know. food is a big part of life, and what do most couples do on a daily basis? fucking go out and eat, or cook something at home together.

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    • It's funny, how most of the guys seem to say "yes it could be a problem" while girls are like "no way". I agree, most of the couple activity revolves around eating and if you can only eat at the same few spots (because the other person doesn't like the cuisine of that other spot) when you guys dine out, that would be a problem wouldn't it?

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    • Thanks! It really bugs me the way he expresses his dislike for it. Would he get offended and think I have no sense of humour if I call him out on it? He could very well think that it was funny to say it in that manner

    • he might get a little insensitive, but generally a lot of people get insensitive when they are called out on something, so i would consider it normal in this case, it's totally fine if you communicate with him and tell him that you really don't appreciate hearing those kind of comments about food you are about to put in your mouth.

Most Helpful Girl

  • i agree with you~ the man i love is a terribly picky eater and refuses to try anything new.

    we've been together for over a year now, and it hasn't caused any issues, but it's been decided that he does the cooking. my parents tell me that i should "be a good wife and cook for your man", but i know that he won't eat 95% of what i make.

    at restaurants, we order separately~ that way, i can eat all the vindaloo/hellfire hot wings/general tao chicken i want and he doesn't have to.

    he has broadened his horizons a little, tiny bit since we met. while visiting my parents, they took us to an Asian buffet (that i love and have been to thousands of times, and also has some standard fare that he'd eat), and my other half suprised me by asking to try a bite of my spicy chicken... and he liked it!

    (i'm working on getting him to a point that he'll eat sriracha mayo with me... as of now, he still refuses to eat it, but great things come to those who wait! lol)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Not for a relationship, not yet yet anyway.

    But it does kind of bother me when I was out with a friend and he only got what I like to consider items of what I like to call the "Kitty Menu". Plain stuff, fries, nuggets. Stuff like that.

    If it came down to a girl, it would be annoying sometimes for when I'd want to cook for her. But it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Yep. Totally petty.

    I'm a fitness model. My husband's a former revue dancer who's still 8 percent bodyfat at 46.

    I have a female body. He has a male body.
    I don't metabolize starches very well. He's got that goddam Caribbean metabolism that turns them directly into lean muscle.

    It'd be totally stupidiculous to think we should eat all, or even most, of the same foods.
    Totally stupidiculous.
    Different goals, different diets.

    I mean, we sure as hell don't eat the same foods our kids eat... so, why would we have to eat the same foods as each other? What a weird assumption.

    Even if we weren't fitness freaks, I just cannot possibly fathom how this could make even the slightest bit of difference in a relationship. What?

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    • Yes I agree with you. So when you guys do dine out, aren't you restricted to certain spots because of this? Also, I figured out what was bugging me. It is not because he doesn't eat these things I love but that he expresses 'disgust' for them in a very childish manner (like yuck, hate it) and refuses to try it if I encourage him to try it. THAT bothers me.

      Is this a more valid reason why I'm bothered?

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    • Thanks!! And you're right. He probably thinks he's being funny but I feel kinda as if I have horrible taste in food or something. Do you have any suggestions on how I should bring that up to him without him thinking that I 'can't take a joke'?

    • Has he let it slip around any friends/fam/acquaintances?
      If so, then "Hey, ya know the other day when ____ was here..." would be a decent opener, and then you could just transition into a more general conversation.

      If that hasn't happened yet, mb you could just say you were taking some internet quiz, or something. "Anything you say that's a pet peeve of yr partner's?" or other such.

  • I don't think eating preferences have to be a deal breaker. Why do you have to like the same foods? My boyfriend is very picky, there's a lot of foods I enjoy that he does not like. I also have Celiac Disease which means my eating habits are limited so most things that he does actually like, I can't eat. It hasn't been a problem though.

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    • Thank you! Please do share how that hasn't been a problem? For example, when you dine out, are there many places you guys are restricted to?

    • Yes, dining out can cause problems since I can only eat in certain places for health reasons. Even though he's picky, he's very flexible which is nice and he usually lets me choose a place to go. So, that would just be something you would need to work on with your guy (how to decide where to eat if/when you go out). Eating at home should be less of a hassle though since you can either cook something you both like or just eat separate meals.

  • If it's just a matter of having the same taste in food, then no; Tastes change over time, after all. I'd only have a problem with it if he wouldn't even give any new food a try. I'd likely take that as a sign of close-mindedness - something that could seep through other aspects of him as well, like his sense of adventure, adaptability, stubbornness, etc.

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    • Yes precisely thank you! I figured out what was bugging me. It is not because he doesn't eat these things I love but that he expresses 'disgust' for them in a very childish manner (like yuck, hate it) and refuses to try it if I encourage him to try it because he says it is bad. THAT bothers me.

      Would that be a valid reason to be an issue?

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    • I will thanks! I'm just worried he thinks that I am too uptight or don't have a sense of humour cause he could probably very well think it is funny to express his dislike in this manner. Any help there?

    • Just tell him how you feel about it. It would be better to get it off your chest than to hold it against him.

  • well im actually the fussy eater in our relationship. I hardly eat anything, and he eats anything and everything!!! i dont see why it should be a deal breaker. u can still cook together, introduce him to new tastes, let him at least try things once, and if he doesn't like it, so be it!!!

    id say if the only thing that bothers you about this guy is his eating habits, your good to go! let him eat his boring meals, and u carry on eating those delicious ones! each to their own i guess!

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  • It probably is for some people, which is why I am choosing to be single. I can't eat a lot of food, and it's not fair on my date.

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  • No!!! I'm a vegetarian and I could write a book about foods I don't like, just deal with it. I'm sure you can find something you both like!!!

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  • If it bothers you so much turn dump him. I don't like Asian food either. I eat it sometimes but my best friend eats it all the time

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