I've noticed that, for example, some guys only offer to pay the bill when out on a date, yet when they're out with a female friend, they would be happier splitting 50/50. So, when guys play the more traditional male-female chivalry act, (such as paying the bill, pulling a chair out, etc.) what's the actual reason for it? Is it because these chivalrous acts have been ingrained in society for so long that they feel it's just the right thing to do if the other person is female? Or is it moreso to appeal to certain women and make them seem more gentlemanly/attractive/interested in them?
I thought I had a quick answer to this but I had to stop and think a little... :I I was gonna say that all girls get the basic nice treatment from me and that the girlfriend gets special privileges til I realized I do the same thing for all women. Seems cool but I wanna have a certain set ONLY for the lady in my life soooo in this moment, i've decided to stop being so nice to all women. xD Y'all only get the "basics", open store doors and that box of cereal on the top shelf you can't reach lol Thanks for helping me decide :) ;)
There is a difference. When I'm going out with friends, the girls usually pay for a round as well. When I'm on a date, I always offer to pay. Most of the time that's fine with the girl, but if she really insists I agree on splitting the bill (happened once). I think dating is more about gender roles and showing you care for her and are able to provide and protect her, but when hanging out with friends you're all equal and know you care already.
I think a lot of that has to do with the intent. If I invite someone out I will pay, if we are just "meeting for____" then we'll probably split the bill. As for the rest it comes down to relationship dynamics some of my friends I would of course pull the chair out for, others wouldn't appreciate it. I always try and open the car door, and open doors for the ones I am with regardless of the dynamic.
There is nothing chivalrous about paying for someone. I am chivalrous but I dont pay for all my friends but I do pay for dates. They are not connected. Id say though guys who only do actual chivalrous acts for girls they like are faking it. If its real they do it for everyone.
I used to be an incredibly chivilrous guy. I no longer am. And I would not pay for a womans meal unless she was a romantic interest. But if she is a romantic interest I would most certainly pay for the night out.
I'll hold the door open for a female friend but I'm not buying her lunch. (Major wealth differences aside)
I'm always gentlemanly unless I think the girl will assume I'm interested when I'm not.