How do I let my ex down nicely but firmly?

About a week ago we broke up due to some things he did. We have broken up and gotten back together too many times to count. I have found him trying to cheat, trying to message other girls online etc. and everytime something like that happens, we have a huge fight which leads to breaking up. Then he'll cry and tell me how much he loves me and how sorry he is and how he'll never do it again, then he does it again after I agree to be with him again. This last time we broke up I decided that this would be it. I ignored his messages for a while but the other day he messaged me and I replied. After a little bit of texting he said that he was at my house. I went out front and we spoke for a while, nothing serious, then he left. He kept asking and I told him that we could be friends. He agreed and said he would not try to date me. Well, he's been texting me and he keeps saying he wants hugs, or that he loves me or that he can't stop crying because he misses me. I feel so bad but I know that I should not be with him. And I know it was stupid of me to agree to be friends, but I'm so bad at being assertive. I don't know how to firmly tell somebody know without it coming off as rude or mean. So when he keeps asking for another chance over and over I always end up giving in and feeling bad for hurting him more. I don't want to turn around and tell him we can't be friends after agreeing but it's so hard for me when he keeps talking about how sad he is and how much he misses me. Any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You're going to have to tell him it's over.. It's going to be rough but it needs to be done. You shouldn't have agreed to be friends in the first place, definitely after he tried to cheat.

  • Breakups are always messy and painful. Especially in his case. You can either try to be civil, meet in public (where he can go nuts), and tell him what you've decided OR you can avoid potential italian-style scene and write him an email where you can structure your thoughs better. Either way you must under any circumstances never contact him after that. If he keeps pestering you, file for restraining order.


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