Is friends with benefits a bad idea in this situation?

So my ex boyfriend and I broke up over the summer because we were in an LDR that got difficult/saddening to maintain as there was no possible near end to the distance (it's really hard being away from someone you love like that, especially when there's no end to the distance planned as its not possible for the next year or two). The breakup had nothing to do with lack of feelings or incompatibility. We're both seniors in high school. We didn't talk for a while as we both knew we needed time to heal, but then we finally began to speak again as friends. It was pretty difficult not to be flirty with each other, as we're both very attracted to each other. Recently, he brought up the possibility of a friends with benefits relationship. That's basically what was already happening, so I just agreed, but now I have second thoughts. I don't see how we can go from being in a relationship, to being exes, to being friends and then to a friends with benefits arrangement that's not supposed to have many emotions involved. Personally, I think it'll end in a mess, but he disagrees. I want to keep him as my friend, and not end up losing him over some hook up arrangement. I'm only agreeing to it because I find him attractive, and honestly, in hopes that we'll get back together. So that's how I know that it's probably not the right thing for me... But what am I supposed to do? Go along with it and hope that nothing bad happens? I've been indecisive about it and I don't want to be annoying to him by continuing to change my mind about it. What should I do? What should I discuss with him? We've already had some lengthy conversations about it. Something just doesn't feel right by doing this, but I don't have many options, as sad as that sounds.. :(


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should go with your gut feeling on this. If it doesn't feel right now, it's best not getting caught up in the mess of it and regretting things later. Be firm in your decision, and tell him this. It's probably best to maintain distance in contact for a bit to make this decision on your own.