My last relationship was a disaster and ended 5 years ago, I have been single ever since. If I gave myself a year to get over break up then life intervened, I had major stuff on for next 3 years and dating was last thing on my mind. Give myself another 6 months to get over that, by my calculations these past 6 months I should be thinking about returning to normal but I cannot shake the uneasiness I have about getting back into looking for romance, I kinda half feel like it then stop my self at last moment.
Thanks for listening to a very confused monkey
Most Helpful Girl
Never be wary or scared of dating. Dating is an amazing thing you do to connect with someone special on a level you can't connect with anyone else. I understand your last relationship ended horrible but that's the past. You have to move on. You can not let that stop you from meeting the person meant for you. You getting back out there shows everyone, "I'm strong. My past is the past. Time to move on. And show off my amazing partner." Go out, have fun, date. Find someone meant for you. Don't be scared of meeting someone because of what happened.1
Most Helpful Guy
I find self reflection is the key to most issues. Why do you feel that way is it because of the past experiences or is that merely an excuse ie fear that since your older you might not be able to find someone or fear of your financial situation will hold you back or just plain fear of rejection (the fewer sucesses one has the more that last one affects the person so not being in a relationship for a long time can actually increase the fear of rejection (at least to my experience and observation)) But lets say it is due to pass experiences, so you ask is it likely to occur again? Did I have signs of what was to come (whether she betrayed you divorced you etc)? Did she exhibit certain traits that where red flags but where ignored at the time, certain personality traits etc. If so now you know what to avoid and to not ignore those traits. Is it likely to occur again yes or no? And to go along that vein for, well quite a long time I admit) and again it also requires looking at your responses to those things, do you see that as a red flag in hindsight because you where blind to it at the time or just trying to find somethign to make sense of it all now etc. But I do find that after this process you tend to remove any excuses you have and while obviously their is still the emotional component you don't have your brain rationalizing it so its actually more managable.1