Do I have a bad boyfriend?

Iv been with my boyfriend for about 3 years and everyone I know, including my family had told me to leave him. I don't know if this is a normal relationship or not because iv had a lot of bad relationships and this was the first one that I thought was too good to be true. At first he seemed to be perfect and all I wanted but now after time things have changed. It makes me so confused. One second he is prince charming but the next he is the meanest person iv ever met. He always puts me down and is so controlling. I can't go anywhere without him, he won't let me have friends (which are girls) and he always threatens to break up with me if I don't do what he says. One time I tried to break up with him and I walked out the door and he bruised my arms by grabbing me and pulling me back in and then he picked me up and carried me to the couch and threw me down and I landed on the table and got really hurt. He blames me for everything and has extreme anger issue. I could say something as simple as you have food on your shirt and he would lose it and start punching holes in the wall and screaming at me. I just don't feel like I can do any better. He has made me feel and told me that I can't get anyone better than him and acts like no one would like me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's an abusive relationship.

    If someone you cared about was getting treated this way by their significant other, how would you feel? Probably upset they are being treated so poorly and you'd want them to get out of the relationship.

    You deserve better, and you can find someone better, someone who actually loves you. No one who truly loves you would treat you like that.

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    • Thank you. I'm just worried I won't find someone better or I'll end up finding someone that makes me feel even worse.

What Guys Said 15

  • That's a textbook definition of an abusive relationship. He's a control freak and putting you down to make you stay. However, from your pics, I would say you can get another person no problem. More importantly, being alone is far better than being with someone who will abuse you.

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  • Sounds like a horrific boyfriend to me with serious issues, and a significant detriment to your emotional and mental well-being.

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    • It is. I have lost so much confidence and respect in myself since being with him. But I don't wanna leave him and be alone

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    • You might see it like the fact that he feels the need to say things like that is precisely because it's the extreme opposite of the truth. He wouldn't feel the need to say it if he didn't think there was a good chance that other guys could be interested in you if he didn't make you believe that he was the only one who would ever truly care. It's insecurity talking.

      So if you're worried about your chances with other guys, don't be. What he says is probably more of a good sign there than a bad one. In any case, this guy might grow up a bit -- but I think you two need some distance. Especially when you mention rehab and all that, you need a support group who doesn't make you feel at your worst. I'd seek out some friends and people to help you and support you if possible, and through them, you might branch out, network, and find someone really nice.

    • Thank you, that really helps me a lot. I appreciate it

  • You're only giving yourself pain by staying in a relationship like this. Any physical rough thing is a bad sign. A very bad sign. Its even worse if they start blaming you for their self control issues. It will only escalate from here. I suggest you do as your family and friends say.

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  • "I don't wanna leave him and be alone"
    He's making you feel like he's your only option. You'll be fine without him.

    When the fact that he manipulates you isn't the worst part of the relationship, as he abusing you physically, things are really bad.

    A guy manipulating a girl is sufficient grounds for a break up.
    A guy hurting a girl physically is necessary grounds for a breakup.

    Break up with him, go to your family, they love you, tell them you left him, they will be there for you as long as you need.

    Do not go back to him. I'm 99.9% certain this guy will try to get you back & when he does you will see him acting like nothing but prince charming.

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  • You deserve better girl
    So say "f**k you" to him and leave him
    And yep tell him that he's not the only one with those anger issues but it doesn't mean he'll hurt someone badly. Tell him to use his anger for criminals and terrorists.
    And believe me or not he's dumbest guy if he said that you won't get anyone better than him 😶

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  • Its an abusive relationship and you'll find someone way better! Yoh don't deserve this tho!

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  • Break up with him, if he is willing to bruise your arm, he can do more harm later, don't allow him to even try.

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  • Yeah you need to get away from that..

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  • He is a bad boyfriend, he should never be abusive to you.

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  • Sounds like a turd that's needs flushed

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  • sounds nice... a nice piece of trash!

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  • You need to break up with him. Other than anger issues, he sounds like an ass

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  • Sounds like you need to dump his ass OP

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  • Holy cow dude this guys an abuser GET AWAY FROM HIM before he ends up killing you!

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  • yes but you are a masochist i guess.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You need to get help in leaving him. I know it's hard but that isn't love and YES you can get someone better

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  • Of course, let him go he is violent.

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