Rejection by no answer at all?

Now this is a tricky one, I think.

There I was, eye in eye with the girl I fancy, at the end of the second date, although we have never called it dating in the first place. I'm about to leave, but don't want to get out of the door before asking that one question:
"I like you and I would like to see you more often. I think you're very interesting. And I know you're shy. But I also know this can be difficult, as we are colleagues. What do you think?"
We have straight eye contact for a couple of seconds until she replies:
"Good night!"

It's already a couple of months ago since I've noticed that she is interested in me. We have been emailing back and forth the last 4 weeks about many common interests, from fantasy books to cultural differences. Sometimes daily, sometimes with a few days in between. She agreed to have dinner at my place one week ago. Then she agreed to have a second dinner and she chose to have it at her place. We both cooked. Everything was perfect. She was laughing. We were talking for hours. 7 hours straight, to be exact. Apart from the dinner and talking, I even taught her a bit of bachata (Latin dance). It was 2am when we sat close together. My heart was beating like hell and I went in for the kiss. But it never came. My hand was gliding from her neck to her back when she moved away her head and softly called my name, as a way to say stop. So, I reacted that it was getting late and I had to go home. When I was collecting all my belongings, she acted as if nothing had happened, but so, I couldn't leave without asking that one question.

And her response: "Good night!", it is an answer that is no answer at all. But still it says so much. I just cannot figure out what it means. Is it more likely a maybe than a no? And most of all, how should I react now? One thing I'm convinced about: I shouldn't ask her the same question again. Tricky additional thing is that I might see her at the job again next week.

  • Ask her out a third time.
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  • Email / text her that you have enjoyed the evening, but wait for her reaction, if any at all.
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  • Just wait for her reaction.
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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds really cute to me. With shy people, you tend to have to compensate and be the aggressor, since they're extremely passive and nothing will happen on its own.

    That said, if you pursue her further, I think you have to have an enormous amount of patience. The reason I think it might be worth continuing is because you put all these moves on her, it's obvious you like her, and she's not going anywhere.

    Nevertheless, you might require an incredible amount of patience, and she might put your through all kinds of hurdles only to end up nowhere. I think you need to avoid getting too excited and take it easy and slow with this one, try to just enjoy evenings without sex as the ultimate destination.

    But there might be some chance to elevate this to more than a friendly status still. I mean it's a total mystery with this type of person, but she's staying around even after you made all these attempts.