There's this guy that I worked with for years at a grocery store. We've never hung out or talked outside of work and now suddenly he is messaging me telling me he's at house parties and wants me to come. I said no because I didn't know anybody except him and I wouldn't be comfortable going. I also don't want to drive home after drinking. So then he tells me we can do something another time, just him and me. It made me so mad when I already told him I don't drink. He has made it seem like he likes me before so why wouldn't he just ask me on a proper date? That's why I feel like he is trying to take advantage of me. Why else would he want me to come to a party at some guys house where everybody is drinking? He wanted me to get drunk with him and he's asked me twice now. It makes me sick thinking of what girls he is/was with at all these parties he goes to and what he does. I don't care if he drinks, but it makes me mad that he asked me to come to some house and get drunk when we've never hung out before.
I kind of feel like I'm overreacting, but do I really need to justify my feelings? That's how I feel. I told him I'd talk to him later on, yet I still haven't messaged him because I don't want to speak to him. I still feel like I need to message him though because I told him I would and I don't want to lie. What should I do?
Most Helpful Guy
ok.. no.. i think you got it wrong.
If he hasn't spoken to you much.. he doesn't know you.
if he doesn't know you well... he doesn't know what you like.
first, he asks you out to a drink.. because that is the most normal social move, take someone out for a drink in a social area, if he tries to make a move on you and you say no, you both have a lot of space to roam and can remove awkwardness through different means (speaking about something else, speaking to someone else, going on the dance floor, w/e)
if you said you dont like drinking... rahter than you are not interested in him, he will try to take you out on something or somewhere more of your style, such as a mini dinner, or maybe a night out to a movie or something.
that is what i think he might mean by something somewhere else just you and me mean (think about it... if you dont like drinking then social scenes just ain't your style.. so he already included just you and me.. to hint seclusion and more chance for both of you to get to know each other)
in the end, if you are not interested in him as a date, just tell him straight off , preferably nicely (as some guys might be very sensitive, even tho they may appear not to be... i know i am :P )
just tell him listen, I don't feel like i know you and if you wanna hang out just to get to know each other fine, but im not into you and i dont feel like i will be, but if its friendship you're looking for ill be more than happy to work something out :)
that way if he only wants to go out with you for sex and party and whats not... you stopped him from waisting your time and his, whilst if he just wants to make new friends from his workplace, you wouldn't have destroyed a pottentially good friendship just because you got pissed off for something that may or may not have been a full on sexual move.
also... for the record... i reallly dont think you should get pissed off so easily, and if you do you may want to seek some answers about yourself, and ask yourself how you can keep yourself more calm... just my 2 cents :)0