The Friendzone: Keep her as a friend or let her go?

If you asked a girl out and she replied by saying that she would rather stay "good" or "best" friends with you, what would you do? Input from either gender is much welcome.

I became friends with a college classmate last year. We had many good times together and often hung out. It felt right, so I approached her and asked her out one day. She responded by telling me that she understood where I was coming from, but that she would rather stay "best" friends with me.

Some would say to ditch her at this point. But out of all of my friends, this girl is actually one of the few that is genuinely there for me. She's one of the nicest people I've met and is always cheery. BUT, everytime we hang out nowadays, I can't help but feel this negativity within myself. It's as if I'm constantly reminded that I wasn't good enough for her to see me in a romantic manner and that I'm forever stuck as her friend. I know it sounds selfish, but I would like some input.


0|0
2|6

Most Helpful Girl

  • as long as she is not the only girl you will hang out with, I see not problem with staying friends.
    You do have to keep dating as usual and do not focus your romantic feelings on her.
    And it's not that you are not good enough for her, she is just not physically attracted to you.
    I "had" to friendzone a great guy once too. We were good friends and hung out a lot. I'd help him with outfits for dates and viceversa. Go to concerts together and generally be single together. Swapping crazy dating stories etc. It was all good until he asked me one drunken night if I think that we 2 will ever be a couple. and as much as it hurt to turn him down I said no... I had to take a step back from that day on because it didn't feel fair.
    It was nothing he did or didn't do. I know he would have been the perfect boyfriend but I just didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever.
    It happens, it sucks, but it happens.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust me keeping her as a friend is infinite times better than letting her go. Such awesome people don't come often in life. If you really care about her then one day you'll get over this romantic feeling about her and be happy with her as a friend.

    Think positively that you're good enough for her to be friends.

    0|0
    0|0
    • BUT If you can't let go of romantic feeling for long time then you should let her go.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't think of yourself as "not good enough". Think this way---there's a girl (if not several girls) out here who, if given the chance to meet you, would LOVE to be with you! You're exactly her type! Don't waste your time moping about a girl who doesn't happen to feel that way. You should want a girl who wants you just as much as you want her, and you deserve no less than that. So even though I understand your feelings, realize that rejection does not necessarily involve a failing on your part. This girl in particular is just looking for someone DIFFERENT, not BETTER, and that's okay.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • I would never be 'friends' with someone I am attracted to do. I would walk out of the friendzone, and her life, with my head held high, rather than trying to stay friends and undergo emotional pain on a daily basis.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would be like, "okay," but if we didn't already see each other often (for work or in class or whatever) I probably wouldn't try very hard to keep in contact.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i would remain friends but scale the relationship back a lot. situations like this could easily eat up your time and stop you from finding a women if thats what you do want. so id stay friends but on a very scaled back friendship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Use her to get help figuring out other women

    0|0
    0|0
  • BAIL.

    Don't be that guy.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...